Help please [Toy and Orgasm Advice]

Hello,
I’m 21 female, heterosexual. Also a new user
I have tried masturbation a few times but never anything from it and I have have had serval partners but have never orgasmed. I’ve tried serval positions and a new durex sex toys yet again nothing
I was wondering what the best device would be to purchase. I don’t want to spend tons on something that may not work. I believe clit stimulation is the thing that gets me closest but not avail aha. I was wondering if there is any devices that do kinda both external and internal.

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I can’t advice you on what best toy to use, just wanted to say hello :wave:

Hi @asdfghjkl123

You are in the right place to find your answers on this forum.
Being male I cannot comment what the best toy to purchase is but the general vibe(no pun intended :grin:) I’m picking by the females on this forum is a lot seem to love the Womanzier Pro’s.
Sure you will get loads of advice based on actual experiences once this thread gets going and probably told of loads of different toys to use.

Good luck and hope a few big Os come your way then hopefully you won’t look back​:+1:

Hello and welcome @asdfghjkl123 :slightly_smiling_face:

I think the best way is to practice on your own first, and explore yourself a bit to find what you do and don’t like. I think it takes the pressure off when there’s no one else there you have to think about. :slightly_smiling_face: Some people also enjoy reading erotica to get themselves in the mood, or maybe some porn if you prefer the visuals, or just using your imagination to get lost in a fantasy. A lot of arousal is psychological, so getting yourself in the right frame of mind gets you at least halfway there. :slightly_smiling_face:

For a toy, I’d suggest something like a bullet or a medium-sized wand for clitoral stimulation, or a classic shaped vibe if you’d prefer swopping between clitoral and insertable. Bullets are good for precision, whereas wands have much wider heads that cover a much broader area.

You can get dual toys like rabbits that offer both external and internal at the same time, but they can be a bit tricky to find one that ‘fits’ as they’re rarely adjustable, and everyone’s anatomy is slightly different (Mrs Chimp generally prefers using two toys, so she can benefit from both, but get everything placed just where she wants it :slightly_smiling_face:).

Vibrators are generally either ‘buzzy’ (high frequency) or ‘rumbly’ (low frequency). The buzzy ones tend to have shallower penetration, so the vibrations stay more on the surface, whereas the rumbly ones feel like they go deeper. I’ve found that rechargeable toys seem to have more rumble to them, but people will hopefully have mentioned what frequency they thought a toy was in the reviews. Mrs Chimp prefers rumbly vibrations to buzzy (she particularly likes the Mantric range).

For internal stimulation Mrs Chimp’s favourite is glass dildos. She did think they sounded a little adventurous before she tried one, but now she has well over a dozen… :slightly_smiling_face: The LH Beaded one is her favourite.

Every body is different though, so everyone can’t like everything equally. Unfortunately there’s not a universal ‘perfect toy’ that will suit everyone. But I think a lot of the fun of sex toys is the exploration. :slightly_smiling_face:

I think it’s definitely worth having an experiment and seeing what you like. :+1: If you don’t have any luck with traditional vibrators, then there are other alternative stimulation types to try too (Womanizers, Zumio, Fun Factory Stronics), so there’s plenty of options. :slightly_smiling_face:

And keep an eye out for the sales (especially Black Friday coming up), as you can normally bag a great toy for a significant discount.

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Hello welcome :slightly_smiling_face:. Toys are quite a personal thing based on what you like and sensations. I don’t have the most extensive toy collection, but I also like clit stimulation. I got a rabbit Vibrator as I also wanted to explore both internal and external and have to say its much better than I expected! You have to make sure that the rabbit ears are in exactly the right place but once they’re there it works like a charm.

For just clit sensation I quite like this:

I’m sure you’ll get some really good answers from those who are more experienced with different toys :slightly_smiling_face:. Good luck!

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Hi, how about a wand

Hi and welcome.

You might want to keep an eye on the Mantric stuff as they come up very often on Deal Of The Day, so you can grab some really good bargains. Their wand, pebble and bullet are all very good :+1:

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The Flash was Mrs Chimp’s only vibrator for quite awhile (before we went a bit nuts, and bought nearly the whole warehouse :slightly_smiling_face:). She thought it was great. :+1: I’d say it’s more medium strength than some, but the hooked nose can really nestle in where you want it.

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Hi, welcome to the forum :wave:

It took me quite a few goes to get anything from masturbation too, so your not alone. What works for each of us is very personal, so it can take a while to figure out whats right for you, both manual stimulation and toy wise.

Some things that really helped me is picking the right moment, some time when your not going to be disturbed so you can really relax. (Having a bath or shower before hand can also help to relax you).
Think sexy thoughts, whatever fantasy or memory turns you on.
Take your time and Go slow, take deep slow breaths. Don’t worry about climaxing, just enjoy enjoy the sensations.
Do whatever feels good but start slow, take your time, go for stroking your skin and places like nipples, stomach, neck, thighs etc First before moving between your legs.

Experiment, see what feels good. Theres alot of nerves down there and we’re all different. (There are lots of guides online for different techniques if you get stuck too)
Dont be put off if you don’t climax first time. It can take a while to figure out what works for you.

Toy wise, id recommend a good quality rechargeable vibe of some sort (rechargable or mains are more powerful than battery powered) . Bullets are often a good place to start (This is a nice less expensive option thats good, not buzzy and strong. But for something rumbly id recommend either the desire or mantric bullets, theyr both fab) but theres lots of other options too.

Both the mantric and desire ranges are excellent rumbly vibes with good strength (do read the reviews though, as it can vary).

Many toys will give you clit stimulation in combination with being insertable. But toys like rabbits are, unsurprisingly, a bit prone fit issues as everyones anatomy is different, and often combining a clit toy with something insertable is more flexible (not least as youll find you want the clit stim static and the insertable one moving).

This place is good for toy recommendations, so if you have a look through the shop and work out what kind of toy looks good to you, asking here will the get you lots of more specific recommendations

Any idea of how much you wanted to spend?

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Hello and welcome.
You have come to the right place. With advice like the above, from Ian chimp, you know you will get answers.
Can’t really add too much more than what he put.
We can all recommend stuff that works for us and may not work for you.
A wand is a great start and so is a rabbit that you can use each part individually to find out what you like.

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just relax hun

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I find the best way for me is to find a good story on literotia.com and use clit stimultion as I read.
Good luck, it will be worth it :sparkling_heart:

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You sound a lot like me, I really struggle with orgasm too :sweat_smile: It really is a very personal thing so all I can give is recommendations :sweat_smile: A good curved dildo that hits the g-spot (such as this (a softer silicone) or this (more firm stimulation)), a good wand (the mantric one is good if you don’t need super strong vibration, doxy if you do (they do a non-mains one but it’s more expensive)) and a butt plug if you’re up for it (personally recommend any and all, though vibrating ones really add that extra umph (personally been using this one lately but it took me many months to work up to it and it is rather large :sweat_smile:)) :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: As @Green_Eyed_Girl has said, make sure you masturbate when you’re nice and relaxed and when you know you’ll have time to yourself, and if you feel better with having music, etc. on to cover the sound if your toys are on the louder end then go for it as well :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I’ve found with my partner wearing a butt plug helps me as it makes me feel tighter, and adding in a wand or bullet helps, but I can reach orgasm more easily during masturbation as sometimes I can feel rushed (though it’s all in my head) when I’m with my partner but can take my time and do everything how I like when I’m going solo :relaxed:

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It definitely helps to get into the mood before starting. If I’m not horny, and I touch my clit, I will not feel anything. Also, try not to go into it with the focus or goal of orgasm as this can put a lot of mental pressure on you and end up working against you. Going into it like you’re just exploring your body may help you relax and hopefully you can find a spot that feels nice. I haven’t tried any dual toys yet, and I haven’t had a g-spot orgasm from a toy yet, so I also love clitoral stimulation. I personally like a vibe on my clit (I love my desire bullet and we-vibe touch) and my textured glass dildo for penetration :ok_hand:

If you’re up for listening to something, the sexual happiness podcast has some good episodes that you could find helpful, like: Masturbation Techniques You Need to Try, Sex, Self Care, and Relaxation, and Things Everyone Should Know About Orgasms :+1:

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You could also try keeping your panties on and holding or rubbing a vibrator against the outside. I find it makes the sensations more tickly and spreads them over a wider area. :heartbeat:

We have found wands tend to provide better stimulation than the more traditional phallus shaped vibrators. The area covered by the vibrating head tends to be larger so it might hit the spots you need to bring you to orgasm.

Much is in the preparation and being relaxed, putting too much pressure on yourself will make your goal more difficult to reach.

Good luck.

I think a bullet would be worth considering, they can be reasonable priced and can stimulate the clit area. i would be worth a go and love honey have a good choice. Good luck and welcome

Toy wise i have the x-romp switch clitoral suction simulator I find it very effective is cheaper than the womanizer brand but still gets the job done. Its not to noisy either, is battery powered and easy to use. Hope you find a toy that works.

I had this problem before using toys and when I had just started using toys. My first toys from LH was a rabbit, a wand and a vibrating dildo and then each month after that I’d get some other toys to try to see what I liked the most. I got my first ever orgasm maybe 5 months into me owning toys. I just learned to be more comfortable with my body as for a woman, masturbation is a taboo thing. All you have to do is let go and don’t think too much.

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Hi! :slight_smile: I had the same problem too when I first started exploring sex and masturbation, I’d highly recommend a wand as you can control the speed/rhythm and find something that you enjoy. My advice would be to explore your body, see what you like in yourself through masturbation exploration, and relax, being more comfortable with your body and going ‘oh I like that’ makes a huge difference in the mind!

Don’t put pressure on yourself to make yourself orgasm, it happens naturally and willing yourself to orgasm can be a blocker for some people. Listen to your body and what it responds to, you might discover there are areas, or techniques that you never realised excite you, take your time and enjoy yourself! You’ll get there! Hope this helps! :slight_smile:

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