Hi. I’m a virgin and just recently bough a thrusting vibrator dildo

So I’m not really sure what the problem is. I bought a thrusting vibrator because I’m a virgin and I wanted to try it out. Idek if that’s the right term for the toy​:sweat_smile:. But anyways I played w my clit for a little bit to gain arousel and cum so I could stick it in. However it won’t fit. I literally tried so many different ways to get it in​:sob::sob:. I’ve never had sex before or inserted anything in there other than a tampon and that was over 2 years ago. Idk if my hole is maybe too small so it won’t fit or if I’m just not doing it right. Maybe it’s too wide? Some help please would be nice

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@Skie welcome to the forum

I would suggest slowly playing with yourself - possibly using smaller toys such as finger vibrator and as time goes on you should find it easier to allow bigger toys to enter

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100% you need to build yourself up to size also to start its all about touch and what you enjoy!

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Deffo start small and build up
Start with fingers and use lots of lube
Enjoy the pleasure

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@Skie Lube may be required, as well as patience as it is your first time your muscles may need to relax whilst you get used to it…

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It sounds like you could be dealing with a mental block, which is completely normal, especially if it’s your first time trying penetration. Anxiety, overthinking, or even just being too tense can make it harder for your body to relax. I was (and still sometimes am) the exact same, it can take a bit of time to get over but it’s possible!

A few things that might be worth giving a go:

  • Go slow and use lots of lube, even if you think you’re aroused enough, a good lube can make a huge difference.
    I really like this LH lube , plus it comes with toy cleaner which gives you peace of mind!

  • Start smaller, if the toy is on the wider side, you might want to try something slimmer first, like a finger or a smaller toy, to get used to the sensation. Just slowly ease into it, self pleasure is supposed to be a nice experience so there’s no need to rush into anything

  • Relax your body, take deep breaths, try a warm bath beforehand, or even explore with external stimulation first until you feel completely comfortable.

Your vaginal muscles might just need time to get used to penetration, and that’s totally okay! There’s no rush, listen to your body, and don’t stress if it doesn’t happen right away. You’ll do absolutely great, take things at your own pace, don’t worry! (:

EDIT: you could try using a Dilator set if you still have issues

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A thrusting dildo is quite a toy for your first adventure. :grin:

Being aroused is so important, and certainly shouldn’t be focused entirely on your clit or pussy. Explore and find your body’s other erogonous zones. Take time and spoil yourself :heartbeat:

Recently I’ve found using lube on myself when playing, quite a turn-on. So, I suggest you make lube part of exploring and enjoying your body, and not just something you rub on your toy. Choose something that smells great, and feels nice.

As others have suggested explore with perhaps a finger to start, then a small/slim toy. Both with a generous amount of lube.

And you needn’t insert your finger/toys completely on your first play, work up to that. The journey should be as much fun as the destination.

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Hi and welcome to the forum. I totally agree with others start off using your own fingers and use lube to assist. You could also consider a bullet vibrator which would be smaller and non thrusting. Good luck and enjoy the journey.

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Would agree with the good advice given by other forum members.

Don’t rush, and perhaps start with a smaller toy, or perhaps inserting a lubed finger.

The key will be being relaxed and plenty of lube. Above all take it slowly, learn what you like, and your body will respond to what feels good.

Even the OH can’t enjoy sex and finds penetration difficult if she is dry, not aroused and no lube is used. Her vagina naturally opens up and lubricates the more aroused she becomes, so that is why it is important to take your time, get yourself aroused, such that you start to get wet, it should be then easier for penetration, if not add lube.

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How big is the toy as sounds like if you’ve never really had anything up there then your vagina hasn’t been broken in yet and would need a small toy that’s maybe more comfortable and then gradually work way up…