Okay, so just over a year ago I fooled around with my closest male friend. We didn't have sex but we did more than kissing. I liked him for a while afterwards but we talked and he wasn't interested so I got over him after a while. Thankfully we remained good friends and now we're closer than ever. My problem is though I have a boyfriend now who I love and I'm not sure whether I should mention something happened with my friend or not. I don't want to tell him because it was kind of embarassing at the time (due to the rejection) and also it's definitely a thing of the past, one night I deeply regret and which means nothing now. I'm worried bringing it up will make it seem like it means more than it does. On the other hand, if he finds out some other way (which isn't likely) then I know he's going to be angry. He's a little weird about my male friend anyway though and I don't want to make it worse. What should I do?
We all have pasts...and in many occasions we still keep in touch with those we got together with.... As long as that is where it stays ...np
Talking from experience and myself getting hung up over my o/h past with people / exs of hers that are friends I wouldn't say anything it will make things akward when you see this friend.
The past is the past and unless there's a reason you should tell him I would just carry on as you have been
Say nothing. Not now. Not ever.
I don't think you should bring it up, but if he asks I don't think you should lie to him.
+1 👍LibraLover wrote:
I don't think you should bring it up, but if he asks I don't think you should lie to him.
+2Hobbles1247 wrote:
+1 👍LibraLover wrote:
I don't think you should bring it up, but if he asks I don't think you should lie to him.
LibraLover wrote:
I don't think you should bring it up, but if he asks I don't think you should lie to him.
+3
Don't bring it up, but if he asks don't lie
This is just me, but if I was thinking about telling my partner, I'd tell him because it would be on my mind otherwise and it would feel like something I was deliberately hiding from him. So long as you bring it up in the right way, making sure he knows you're just telling him to be honest rather than because it's a big deal, and take the time to completely explain how you truly feel about it, I don't really see how there could be a problem. Obviously different people are different, but that's how I'd feel about the situation from my perspective.
If he's a little weird about the friend anyway, I think telling him might be a bad idea.
On the other hand, if he finds on his own then then not telling him would have been a bad idea.
I guess it comes down to how likely you think it is that he'd find out on his own.
I 100% agree with LibraLover. I don't think you are obligated to bring it up, and not telling him isn't lying unless he has specifically asked you and you've said nothing happened.
Okay, thank you all! The general advice seems to be what I was thinking which helps me massively. I don't want to tell him because it'll upset him unecessarily but I felt guilty about it. He has never asked me about past relationships or anything like that but if he does, I will definitely be honest
Okay, thank you all! The general advice seems to be what I was thinking which helps me massively. I don't want to tell him because it'll upset him unecessarily but I felt guilty about it. He has never asked me about past relationships or anything like that but if he does, I will definitely be honest
So what, you had a drunken fumble before you met your boyfriend, and you think it will upset him?
If it does, that's probably a him problem, not a you problem. Any man who expects you to have zero sexual history (outside of religious grounds, but even then) needs to get his shit in order....
As others have said, don't tell him, but if he asks, don't lie.
Best of luck hun *squish*
I think the fact it's a guy I'm still very close with that will upset him, not necessarily the act itself. I'm worried the very brief moments of jealousy he's shown towards the guy (mostly when he texts me or if they're in the same room, he might be a tad more touchy-feely than usual) will get worse. But yeah, I'll definitely tell him if he asks and until then I won't mention it