Wanting my girlfriend to get into it, we are really in love so no problems will happen, she wants to do it with her ex and tell me all about it, any suggestions or advice?
This is something I really want to do, I'd love to see my wife with another guy. We are married and in a strong relationship, but she can be a bit shy.
I would like to start off in a swinger's club but I'm not sure how to convince her they are not dark seedy places.
See I want her to just kinda meet someone in a club cause we’re students, but she’s shy aswell haha
There are a few other threads about this topic. I would worry about the ex!
Sounds like a lot of fun to go and flirt (and more?) with strangers, but people you know, and in this case people she's slept with? I'm open minded, but I can see a disaster unfolding here.
Would think her sleeping with ex is just looking for trouble as there history there.
I think your better off meeting someone new that you are both comfortable with.
Not only does she want to sleep with her ex, but when you're not there too. She probably already is as she obviously still has some sort of feelings for him. I'd question whether she really loves you!
A couple of things came to mind when I read this and unfortunately they were not positive.
You say "we are really in love so no problems will happen" and this alarms me. There have been plenty of people who have visited this forum and thought their relationships were rock solid until they actually tried threesomes/swinging/fantasies involving other people and then problems started occuring. You don't really know what feelings will arise from acting out these sorts of fantasies until they happen and I don't think you can ever say for sure that neither of you will encounter an issue along the way. You may like the idea in your mind but actually become jealous or uncomfortable with it in theory. Your partner may gain feelings for the third person or the third person may gain feelings for them. Involving other people in your sexual relationship may not be as straight forward as you think.
The other thing that bothers me is the ex. Feelings can easily resurface from spending time with someone you used to be in a relationship with, especially if you begin engaging in sexual contact with them again. You might think that won't happen but it's a possibility that definitely needs to be considered and spoken about. What if the ex starts getting feelings for your girlfriend again? What if those feelings never went away and she just thinks they did?
I personally think it's too complicated to involve someone who's engaged in sexual and romantic relations with her before and I would say that going ahead with this idea could cause serious damage to your relationship that may not be fixable. If you are both still keen on the idea of involving a third person and have discusses all the risks and potential issues then I would pick the third person together, make sure they are aware of the situation and are consenting to be a part of this and also make sure all parties are tested for sti's beforehand.
Nat sums it up nicely as always. The fact that you are even considering being ok with it being her ex worries me. Lots of questions there... who left who? Why? To what degree have they maintained contact? How close are they? Has the ex already consented to the idea? They might be seeing this as an opportunity to reignite their relationship... Ex's are usually just that for a reason. For either of them to even consider the idea suggests there's unfinished business there on an emotional level, and that can only spell trouble (even if just for the third person, he might be wanting to give things another go!)
why the ex? She's slept with them before, so why not just relay every last detail of a time they slept together if that's your kink? Why does she have to sleep with him afresh?
I'd steer well clear and choose a mutually agreed third party that there's no history with.
She wants to do it with her Ex and yet you say youre inlove?? I think your pot is about to get stirred..in a not-so-good way..
Have a think about this properly..