We are open to each other about our desires in lovemaking and some time ago my Wife caressed me below during a moment and I loved it. This led me to be curoius about prostate toys etc so after a little study ended up buying one. I have rarely used it and my wife still caresses this area my stroking it. I have discussed on several occasions (over about a year or so), taking this a stage further and try strap-on sex. But she seems very reluctant to do so and seems a little worried about engaging in this.
I realise as this is new to her it might take some time to get her head around it and just wondered how women out there feel about pegging or the thought of strap-on sex, or could possibly advise further?
This is just a few. If you type "strap on" in the search bar (At the bottom of the forum main page) It will bring up all threads that make mention of it. My opinion of it: I love it.
As for your wife being reluctant, has she mentioned what it is that she is nervous about? is she generally submissive for example and maybe feels really awkward reversing the roles, or is she worried about hurting you or hygiene or??? Once you discover what it is that is making her hold back, you might be able to sooth her fears or find a way around them. However if she just does not find the idea at all sexy, and she just really does not want to do it, then you can not really pester her on the issue. It may push her away from it further.
Many thanks for info regarding the searching, I wasn't aware of this and surethat this will be helpful.
Even more so thanks for the further info on strapon - she is a little submissive and has shown an interest, but made mention of hurting me and said she's not sure it would feel right? (I think that it's a bit of the hygene thing too, though I do clean out when playing). Though I made mention that I have discussed this on several occasions, I am aware that by mentioning too much or pestering that this may put her completely off, so I stay away from the subject for long periods of time and only speak about it when I feel it appropriate with her.
from a womans view, strap on sex is awesome but I'm massively into control/degradation/humiliation play and this works well for it.
It's a big step and can take some getting used to (for both of you) but you cant rush her. Talk more. Make it become less of a novelty by talking freely and casually about it. Don't mention it when her mothers there but you get the drift....
Yup, like Ms HKM said I think if your lady is saying "It wont feel right" its a bit of a mental thing.
I think it can take some getting used to, going from always being the one that gets penetrated to completely turning the tables and being the one penetrating, especially penetrating a man. It is just something we never really grow up assuming or thinking about too much. Naturally it has always been one way around (Talking from the head of a straight women in mostly vanilla relationships I mean. Of course other people probably see if differently)
It is really hard to explain but there is something very primal, being penetrated as a female its like surrendering and submitting to a man its a bit of a head F**K when the tables are turned. It is a different kind of power exchange that we, as females, havent really experienced before. (When new) I really cannot explain this very well, but it is there, and it can go two ways, one is to pull away from that feeling and not do it and the other is to become curiously turned on by the idea and the taboo-ness of it all and really get turned on by it.
If she is fingering you then I wouldnt say she is overly concerned about that area being "Too dirty" because, well, she is happy to use a finger so maybe it is a slight worry but I wouldnt imagine hygiene being the main reason considering that? As for hurting you, this was something I worried about too but not enough to stop me wanting to try it, especially considering the communication between us is so good.
I think it probably is the mental block thing, I mean another thing I felt strange about at first is perfomance! LOL Suddenly I am the one "In charge" I am the one with this thing between my legs that I need to use to pleasure this person in front of me, usually being submissive in the bedroom it was a strange feeling to overcome.
I dont know wether to recommend not talking about it (In case she starts feeling pestered) or talk about it more and encourage her and break down her fears. I guess if I was you I would talk about it more and go by her reaction, if she is asking questions or generally seeming more curious then keep going, walk through each step together. If you start talking to her and she shuts down and doesnt seem interested then maybe that would be the signal to stop mentioning it.
Heres hoping one day you get to enjoy your fantasy! Good luck!
I brought this up with the OH just last night. It's something I've always secretly wanted to do and somehow it came up last night. And he's all for it! Very excited. But I know not everyone just jumps into the idea! I think you need to just have a few gentle conversations(ie not pushy) about it, but not be too pushy, and she just might come around to your way of thinking! Good luck!
Yup, like Ms HKM said I think if your lady is saying "It wont feel right" its a bit of a mental thing.
I think it can take some getting used to, going from always being the one that gets penetrated to completely turning the tables and being the one penetrating, especially penetrating a man. It is just something we never really grow up assuming or thinking about too much. Naturally it has always been one way around (Talking from the head of a straight women in mostly vanilla relationships I mean. Of course other people probably see if differently)
It is really hard to explain but there is something very primal, being penetrated as a female its like surrendering and submitting to a man its a bit of a head F**K when the tables are turned. It is a different kind of power exchange that we, as females, havent really experienced before. (When new) I really cannot explain this very well, but it is there, and it can go two ways, one is to pull away from that feeling and not do it and the other is to become curiously turned on by the idea and the taboo-ness of it all and really get turned on by it.
If she is fingering you then I wouldnt say she is overly concerned about that area being "Too dirty" because, well, she is happy to use a finger so maybe it is a slight worry but I wouldnt imagine hygiene being the main reason considering that? As for hurting you, this was something I worried about too but not enough to stop me wanting to try it, especially considering the communication between us is so good.
I think it probably is the mental block thing, I mean another thing I felt strange about at first is perfomance! LOL Suddenly I am the one "In charge" I am the one with this thing between my legs that I need to use to pleasure this person in front of me, usually being submissive in the bedroom it was a strange feeling to overcome.
I dont know wether to recommend not talking about it (In case she starts feeling pestered) or talk about it more and encourage her and break down her fears. I guess if I was you I would talk about it more and go by her reaction, if she is asking questions or generally seeming more curious then keep going, walk through each step together. If you start talking to her and she shuts down and doesnt seem interested then maybe that would be the signal to stop mentioning it.
Heres hoping one day you get to enjoy your fantasy! Good luck!
Wow! is all I can say., thanks again Fluffbags an amazing insight of information. Great guidance and fantastic information which I'm sure that I'll find very very useful in understanding how my OH may feel about situations... I really can't thank you enough .... here's hoping!! ;)
