Got to ask, would you ever perform a BJ whilst on?
I’m thinking that could be quite seductive in the action.
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I don’t think hubby would appreciate it. He would much prefer I give him a bj rather than a bit of plastic. As far as a hot towel I don’t believe it would be enough to soften it.
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Prob agree on that.
If any position was to be used, what would be best to attempt?
To attempt what penetration of a bj?
Strap
Edit: too large with an extender over the top?
We have tried all sorts of positions and not one makes it possible. We have also tried the extenders and the heads of those are too big and hard for me as well. We have a lifelike one that suits both of us not too big.
Such potential. Reviews seem to have happy users but everyone is different.
Will continue the search 
I think vaginas are a bit like penis’ men have different sized members and some women can take larger and others cannot.
More about the hardness..
We have a few go to ways of doing it! Last time I put the sexy undies on and laid out an outfit for her, recently she warned me there was glass on the bed so I went to tidy it up and it was the glass dildo next to outfits of her choice for us both! But the best is just a gentle caress of each other in bed! 
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I did recently mange to come out with an absolutely amazing way to initiate sex - asked the OH if she wanted an orgasm!! I am not proud and I cringed the moment I said it but it did work and was a little more instant than the usual sweet talking!! 
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Proper honest approach, like asking would you like sex!
My usual - naked spooning, cock nestled in my wife’s buttocks (a happy place) some stirring, wandering hands…
Often - we have the house to ourselves, meet upstairs!
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“Wanna fuck today?” - “Yes”
Quite simple mostly.
Or she surprises me by waiting for me on the bed in lingerie when I come home. Can’t miss that cue either.
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We usually start by kissing. If the other kisses back and turns into snog we then both get turned on and usually leads to sex
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Sometimes I just take a shower out of the blue and walk around naked. The Mrs then looks at it and helps me out 