I’m really new to this so please bare with me. I have loved reading other members posts about all things sex and body confidence. I have never been a confident person, I’m happily married but I’m wanting to spice things up. Our sex life has obviously changed a little since becoming parents and being together for many years. our sex life is just very ordinary. I just don’t know where to start. Where to get the courage to talk about it from, what’s a beginners sharing toy? It’s all just a bit of a minefield. I would like to be a bit more in control and take charge but I’m just worried I’ll make a total tit out of myself. I want to feel sexy and empowered. How do I get there. Thanks for reading this far into my pity party.
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Welcome to the forum, you say you have no confidence but you are hear and speaking out and asking questions, that takes confidence to do so. As for all the rest, it comes with time, the first for me was excepting me for who I am and what I look like (I changed my mindset). I got over that road jump years ago and you already have a partner that loves you for who you are and how you look so it’s now down to you. Maybe look in the mirror and see you are beautiful and perfect for you. And don’t measure yourself by any other yard stick, model or Brenda down the road.
That’s a big enough first step into a very beautiful and confident you.
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How about starting by working through the LH website together and discussing what items you’d like to try together.
My go to would be to purchase a wand, which you could either use on yourself and then give it to your partner to use on you.
It will be small steps, but be honest and you might be pleasantly surprised.
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Thanks for your really kind reply. I think the thought of feeling silly and allowing myself to be fully open and vulnerable just stops me doing it. Fear of being rejected I suppose. Scars from previous relationships I think.
Also the new body after having children. He loves it, even more so he says as it was our childrens first home. I’m just finding the changes difficult and feeling as far away from sexy as possible.
But I do need to embrace it, life is simply too short.
Again, thank you for being wonderful.
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Just go for it and ask/say what you’d like to suggest. Also confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear.
Nobody’s body is perfect, life gives us lumps, bumps, scars etc, but they’re just signs we’re survivors.
I think most women underestimate how sexy we find their bodies, and that we know we’re not perfect ourselves!
When your partner says he still finds you sexy, believe him, and don’t doubt yourself.
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Some of the deepest wounds can be from past relationships, but that’s as you’ve said is in the past, not now! Does hubby reject you and your suggestions? Rocking a new mom bod is sexy as anything.
I remember times when I was with a partner with low confidence I would stand behind her when she we naked in front of a tall mirror. We talked about her body and what I felt was amazing about her body mind and spirit. It did end up with a lot of fun being had, while we didn’t stay together in the end due to moving she was a tigress and a man eater when we parted company.
When you have 5 minutes with your other half tease him and walk away and ask him what he’s going to do about it when he complains to you.
Or when the kids are down for the night then it’s time to talk wants and desires to bring you both in line with each other. The most repeated word of advice on this forum is communicate or it either gets worse or stays the same.
As people see this post you will get some amazing insights to what people have gone through both similar and the same situation you are in. A lot of us can even suggest help both constructive and kinky as time goes on and you grow in your confidence.
That’s very sweet of you, I just say what I would to any friend that’s talking to me. Hope your day goes well and here if you need an ear like everyone else is.
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Hi and welcome to the forum, I am sure you will get some great advice. My advice would be communication with your partner is the key.
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It’s good to hear you want to improve but this only works when both parties are game
Start with an honest talk - sex is not all about penis into vagina but talk what you would like and ask your partner what they want
So think - what would you like to try - toys/ lingerie/ spanking / bsdm/ anal / role play / massage
And ask your partner the same and browse through the web site - but remember not to diss any ideas…
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Welcome to the forum lovely 
confidence takes time to build on and some key practices are how you view yourself. It’s a hard step for some but trying to stand and get reacquainted with your body in a full length mirror can gradually help start retraining your mind to think positively…
the target is to find 5 things you like about your body, doesn’t have to be anything big just as long as it’s something… do this say every other day or even after you’ve had a shower and in time you’ll find it’ll become easier to see your natural beauty. Also once a week get your husband to say what he loves about your body in an intimate shared moment, have him caress your skin and show you how he sees yourself through his eyes 
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Hellooooo and welcome, we love a wand as it can be used to tease each other … mini Rechargeable lovehoney one is great value to start your collection
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Mrs W here …
Hi @Sofa12 and welcome to the forum, hope you get some help here x
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Welcome 
What did it for us we had a similar thing million years together and million kids too 
we got into a sex funk so recently we starting getting some toys love honey do a great couples kit btw , we are getting a good collection of toys now so much fun
I starting buying lingerie ( love honey have great range ) and sending pics to OH at work which was a big thing for me as I’m a plus sized girl so I had to push past the body issues . We starting making more time for each other going away for the night to have a kid break . And it’s really helped as has this forum /community .
Def have a chat with him and see how you go
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Hello and welcome to the forum <3
Gaining self confidence can be really hard but it’s not impossible, you’ll get there! As a lady I feel like feeling confident in the bedroom is absolutely empowering and there’s no greater feeling. If you haven’t already maybe try some sexy lingerie? Treat yourself to something nice! It’s a win-win, makes you look and feel sexy and gives your OH something to drool over (;
If you want to look into some toys to use together LoveHoney has a really useful section on their website for toys Dedicated to couples . There’s also some really cute little Kits that have a bit of everything in them, so you can explore and find out what you like (:
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Hello