Whilst I thank you for all your ‘welcome posts’ let me just say that I have been a new visitor in many peoples homes, some have said “welcome! come in, put your feet up and make yourself at home” whilst others have said “welcome! come in, oh by the way, hope you don’t mind, but we take our shoes off in this house” . . . guess which house I most felt welcome in? and which one I returned to?
Well, nudger, if other people expressing their opinions is something which bothers you, and if respecting rules isn't to your liking, then perhaps you might find your needs better served elsewhere?
I regret that you felt that the sincerity and warmth of my welcome was insufficient for you.
Well, nudger, if other people expressing their opinions is something which bothers you, and if respecting rules isn't to your liking,
I regret that you felt that the sincerity and warmth of my welcome was insufficient for you.
Then why were you so bothered by my expressing an opinion lubyanka? . . because i dont have enough 'posts' under my belt? those are the kind of rules i dont respect.
I nether asked for nor expected any welcome so yours was more than sufficient for me, however after your opening paragraph about your feeling distrust and discomfort over my post, it did read a little hollow.
as for 'my needs being better met' may i refer you to my reply to imelda.
I dont want to get involved in the in between bits....but I too watched that video and we achieved it.
I have been married 25 years this month and I had never even heard of squirting...so when a link came up I was intrigued....and watched the short video.
I have had spectacular times, but mostly leaving a satisfying wet patch!!
I dont want to get involved in the in between bits....but I too watched that video and we achieved it.
I have been married 25 years this month and I had never even heard of squirting...so when a link came up I was intrigued....and watched the short video.
I have had spectacular times, but mostly leaving a satisfying wet patch!! External Media
Plus it did not take too long to master either.
thank you for that naughty40, your comment has made this all seem worthwhile. I am 52 and like you am a recent discoverer, and my! that didnt take you and hubby long did it!? External Media
I wish i could remember where i found the full 30 min video that i downloaded, i may have torrented it. The couples identity remains a mystery to me but i think they have done some other instructional things, ie workshops etc, he talks of them in the full vid.
enjoy your spectacular times, it only gets better External Media
Hey nudger, sorry if you felt unwelcome here - it's lovely to have new people around! And also, having read quite a lot of posts by many of these lovely people, and chatted to several of them, they really are nice. It's just a pity that online messages can come across rather impersonal, and therefore the reader can often intepret the nature of the message in different ways. But we are nice people here! :P
So therefore, welcome to the boards. And please decide to stay!
Then why were you so bothered by my expressing an opinion lubyanka? . . because i dont have enough 'posts' under my belt? those are the kind of rules i dont respect.
I nether asked for nor expected any welcome so yours was more than sufficient for me, however after your opening paragraph about your feeling distrust and discomfort over my post, it did read a little hollow.
If you could paste where I expressed that I felt bothered by you expressing an opinion, I'd appreciate it. I don't remember saying any such thing, nor can I find where I said it. I remember expressing my own feelings and opinions and responses. I only remember expressing that I feel uncomfortable about trusting advice from people I don't know, and that is the truth.
If in order to fully accept my welcome, you need to feel that I trust you and feel comfortable with you, unfortunately I won't be able to do anything about that.
"I feel uncomfortable about trusting advice from people unknown to me. So I think that posting first, getting to know people, and letting us get to know you will help us to feel more comfortable with you and any advice you wish to share"
this was the part i was referring to lubyanka, and it was I who interpreted your expression of distrust and discomfort as 'bothered' i was not directly quoting you. But If you were'nt bothered by my post, then why did you feel the need to chastise me?
"I feel uncomfortable about trusting advice from people unknown to me. So I think that posting first, getting to know people, and letting us get to know you will help us to feel more comfortable with you and any advice you wish to share"
this was the part i was referring to lubyanka, and it was I who interpreted your expression of distrust and discomfort as 'bothered' i was not directly quoting you. But If you were'nt bothered by my post, then why did you feel the need to chastise me?
I'm confused nudger, how is expressing my feelings about advice from people I don't know chastising you? And how do you work out that my feelings about trust must mean that you or your post bothered me?
Hey nudger, sorry if you felt unwelcome here - it's lovely to have new people around! And also, having read quite a lot of posts by many of these lovely people, and chatted to several of them, they really are nice. It's just a pity that online messages can come across rather impersonal, and therefore the reader can often intepret the nature of the message in different ways. But we are nice people here! :P
So therefore, welcome to the boards. And please decide to stay!
thank you missmimiaow, yes i agree that the ambiguity of online communication can lead to misunderstandings, maybe thats why i dont usually engage online.
I was just a bit taken aback by the amount of negativity my post seemed to create, naughty40's message however has more than redressed that balance.
"I feel uncomfortable about trusting advice from people unknown to me. So I think that posting first, getting to know people, and letting us get to know you will help us to feel more comfortable with you and any advice you wish to share"
this was the part i was referring to lubyanka, and it was I who interpreted your expression of distrust and discomfort as 'bothered' i was not directly quoting you. But If you were'nt bothered by my post, then why did you feel the need to chastise me?
I'm confused nudger, how is expressing my feelings about advice from people I don't know chastising you? And how do you work out that my feelings about trust must mean that you or your post bothered me?
maybe it was the use of 'you' as in "get to know you" and "feel more comfortable with you" and "any advice you wish to share" that led me to feel that it was about me and not some anonymous person. . . . and congrats on answering a question with a question . . .are you in politics?
I'm confused nudger, how is expressing my feelings about advice from people I don't know chastising you? And how do you work out that my feelings about trust must mean that you or your post bothered me?
maybe it was the use of 'you' as in "get to know you" and "feel more comfortable with you" and "any advice you wish to share" that led me to feel that it was about me and not some anonymous person. . . . and congrats on answering a question with a question . . .are you in politics?
I was asking about the "chastising" and "bothered" part. Certainly I was addressing you as the author of the post. I was wondering why you felt that me expressing my thoughts equalled chastisement or botherment?
Haha! You didn't wind me up to the point of facepalming! I facepalmed because I knew how this was going to go! I personally don't think that you've done anything wrong, I welcomed you and proceeded to add my thoughts to your statements.
oops! sorry nexas, didnt see this, told you im not good at this malarky. Well by admitting to looking up facepalming i guess im showing you how unfamiliar i am with its use, i can see what you meant though, and i hoped the smiley told you i was not taking it seriously.
I'm confused nudger, how is expressing my feelings about advice from people I don't know chastising you? And how do you work out that my feelings about trust must mean that you or your post bothered me?
maybe it was the use of 'you' as in "get to know you" and "feel more comfortable with you" and "any advice you wish to share" that led me to feel that it was about me and not some anonymous person. . . . and congrats on answering a question with a question . . .are you in politics?
I was asking about the "chastising" and "bothered" part. Certainly I was addressing you as the author of the post. I was wondering why you felt that me expressing my thoughts equalled chastisement or botherment?
I am not in politics or any related field.
Your sentence "So I think that posting first, getting to know people, and letting us get to know you will help us to feel more comfortable with you and any advice you wish to share" is a 'corrective' one, you are seeking to tell me how i 'should' have acted, that, in my book, is chastisement. and you were 'bothered' enough to tell me so. This is getting pedantic, but do u need me to be more specific?
Thing is though nudger, I know you might feel like you were jumped on a bit at points - I'm not going to get into whether you were and if so who by as i don't think it's productive... It's considered good forum ettiquette on pretty much any forum (and I am active on a number, and actively moderate one) to say hi, introduce yourself (though here that can be understandably vague ;) ) etc before jumping in.
I don't think it was a case of 'oh you're a noob, sod off" or anything as harsh as that, that its a bit like walking into a packed room and starting to wax lyrical to anyone who'll listen - it's not that anyone actually attacks you, but its not the done thing.
I have to respectfully admit though, I find you a little confusing. You 'declined' an earlier offer of partaking in this community... and yet you are posting in it? That's fine and everything - hope you have a great time here and this was nothing more than a starting line hiccup - but it's just confusing me. [Pedantic, me? Never!]
I was asking about the "chastising" and "bothered" part. Certainly I was addressing you as the author of the post. I was wondering why you felt that me expressing my thoughts equalled chastisement or botherment?
I am not in politics or any related field.
Your sentence "So I think that posting first, getting to know people, and letting us get to know you will help us to feel more comfortable with you and any advice you wish to share" is a 'corrective' one, you are seeking to tell me how i 'should' have acted, that, in my book, is chastisement. and you were 'bothered' enough to tell me so. This is getting pedantic, but do u need me to be more specific?
I'm sorry you feel this is pedantic. I feel that you have been putting words into my mouth which I didn't say, and clarifying this is important to me.
I was in fact expressing how I or we might feel more comfortable if you followed a certain course of action. I made no directives to you, and I said nothing about any unpleasant consequences should you decline to follow that suggestion. I had no intention of correcting you, because "correct" in my view is often a matter of opinion.
I do however feel that your interpretation of my words was inaccurate. I cannot help your choice to add terms which I did not include. I meant my words as literally as I stated them, no more and no less. I do take great care in the terms I choose to include and omit, and I do feel upset when I feel that I am being blamed for expressing sentiments which are different to the ones I actually did express. On this occasion I feel that you were unfairly blaming me for issuing directives and chastising you, when right from the start I took a great deal of care to do neither.
I took the time to explain myself and disregarded your personal remarks to me because it was important to me to clear this up. If clarity and accuracy matters to you, then I hope my efforts were successful.
