How to make women feel safer in public

Off-Topic Chat
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I (male) have been enjoying very early morning walks every day, and at this time of year it’s dark and quiet. I have noticed that many of the women I encounter are visibly nervous when they see me or hear my footsteps (I maintain a good distance behind them but sound tends to carry well when there is nothing else happening on the street).

They will cross the road, go back the way they came, start to walk faster, repeatedly turn back to look at me, ect.

I get why women are leery in this context, and I wonder what things can men do, or not do in order to appear innocuous?

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I can’t think of anything above what you have mentioned. Respecting their personal space, perhaps crossing the road to make them feel more comfortable, so you are not in close proximity.

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I don’t think there is much you can do other than crossing the road and keeping that distance.

I know from my past experience that when a male is behind you and they cross over, I often feel immediately safer :blush:

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I’ve thought about this a lot over years. Some thoughts from me:

  • Cross the street
  • Just go a different route if you can
  • Don’t try to be too silent and make it feel like your stalking. A gentle cough or something can help
  • Slow down or drop back so it doesn’t seem like your keeping pace or following
  • Don’t run up on them (actually don’t do this to anyone anyway)
  • Hands out if your pockets

I hate that we have to think of these things, but it is important.

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This all sounds good, I have one of those “You are safe with me” rainbow pins on my badge, which has relaxed some people in to conversations on the train etc. but I get that it’s not super visible and you’re not looking at that if I’m walking behind you for example.

I think crossing the road works, or sometimes I’ll just “pretend to wait” so they can get a good distance ahead whilst I lean and play on my phone for a few minutes. Then they can walk on so they’re far in the distance by the time I start again. I’m not in a rush to get anywhere. Work can wait.

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That’s a good one. I’ve done that loads of times! Or the untying, and re-tying of the shoelaces.

(Edited to correct an incorrect autocorrect)

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Usually in that situation I have my small dog with me, which sort of says i’m no threat. But if i’m on my own I do cross the road and keep my head down so as not to appear a threat.

When i used to start work at 5am I often saw a lady in her 70’s power walking down the country lanes at all seasons of the year, and I did think to myself how risky that was. I still see her now as i’m driving home but that’s later around 10am. I have since found out she walks up to 15 miles a day.

Also in the past I have encountered many a lone female jogger when walking my dog on the canal towpath early in the morning, pre-9am.

I know they SHOULD be able to do those things safely but it’s a bad world, and if I was the ladies I have mentioned I would definitely stay to busy streets in broad daylight.

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Good to know

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Sing hum whistle, and just stay out of their way

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I’ll usually pull back, stand aside and let the man go first.

That historically has not gone particularly well actually: few men can resist stopping to talk to the nice lady who was just trying not to make it awkward for anyone :joy:

I’ll add that I’m self-defence trained, so if a man did want to try anything stupid, he’s going to end up with his nuts where his tonsils used to be. I’m also generally street wise.

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I walk to the train station of a morning at around 6am & see ladies who are either jogging or walking to the station as well, I’ve noticed the same behaviour you mention, when I approach & I’m a very fast walker so I try to not be intimidating by making sure that they hear me coming and not startle them…. Very sad that females have to fear an approaching male though :cry:

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