How to make your partner cum quicker

Sorry I know some people love taking forever to get to the punch. But unfortunately due to
Some medication and head space my husband take a Long while to finish. Sometimes not finishing.
He makes sure I’m sorted numerous times but I’m looking for ideas to toys to help him get his rocks off.
Any suggestions.

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Get a wand and position just under the head of the penis, that should help to speed things up.

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There are quite a few threads on here with people asking for help because of meds. Antidepressants are the classic culprit, but there are others that do to too.
Everyone os different, so its hard to recommend anything if you dont know what he likes.
I am also female, so probubly not the best person to ask.
fleshlight and tena toys are very popular on here. The wand attachments for penises are also very popular and they might be a good option for him.

Some people also go for p-spot toys.

If youve got any toys yourself, it might be worth him having a go with them. Lots of guys on here use bullet vibes wands and pebble vibes.

@AJSTAR any recommendations?

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Hello @kimpiekoo welcome to the forum :wave:

Is your partner taking an SSRI or a family member of the SSRI medication? There are actually 2 different types of the med of which they both help.

If taking an SSRI then delayed orgasm is quite common, if taking a family member of the same type the side effects are similar but not as severe.

Having read here vibrating toys help, Vibrating butt plugs in the both of you are the way to go. He may be of the thought “I will have nothing near my arse” If you try it you will be surprised. The both of you with a vibrating plug will work wonders. You are no less of a man for trying it honest.

This topic will most likely be combined with a similar, hope you both read it though.

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Hi @kimpiekoo
My favourite kind of sex with my wife involves a lot of slow playing and edging. I think I’m too old and lazy for a lot of pumping most of the time! We rarely have quickies these days, to be honest.
As a man, I find sex with the lights on, and being inside my wife while she (and I) use toys for stimulation makes her have quite a few orgasms, and just builds up a huge amount of tension in me.
Her problem with me is that I never want it to end!!!
If she is tired and I still haven’t finished off, for me personally, taking matters into my own hands works the best of all.
We will kiss and I’ll rub myself over her thighs - or if we are in a different position, her pussy.
Quite often, she will get turned on again and something else will happen too.
Have you asked him if he has any fantasies that would help him finish?
I confessed to my wife that her masturbating close to my face was a massive turn on, so she did that kneeling over me while I did my thing. It was very erotic (and I had been wearing the LH Agent Provocateur vibrating cock ring - which is pretty darn fun, and recommended).
We both had a great time, and things like that just add to the turn on I get from being with my wife!
My wife loves playing with the Le Wand Petite, which is amazing, and sometimes she will just give me a very slow hand job at the end, and use that just on the inside tip of my penis.
That works really well for me!
Good luck, and have fun adventuring!
:grinning: :star_struck: :crazy_face:

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Try rubbing his penis, balls and perineum with whatever vibrating toys you have - they can be nicer through underwear - then pull him off with a stroker. :sweat_drops:

Its lovely to have you on the forum and I hope you can find an answer. It must be frustrating for him but you are willing to help in anyway. Good luck and we hpe to see you more on here. @kimpiekoo

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Try any of these:

Use a stroker
Use a wand or vibrator on the head of his penis (specific attachments are available)
Use a tighter grip with hand or mouth
Try P-Spot Play
Dirty talk

Good luck

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Hey welcome to the forum :smiley:
Medication and headspace, is he on antidepressants by chance?

Good on you for trying as many wouldn’t care too much…

Like @our-adventure-bed mentioned, the visual aspect can be a huge springboard ahead in speed. Doing the same thing in the light so I can see makes me cum way faster than in the dark when you are going on feeling alone.

Mrs. Val isn’t a fan of “lights on sex” but I love the view! Hope it is a simple fix!

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Hmm having been on antidepressants for many years I’ve discovered my sex drive has gradually continued to diminish to the point where I no longer find it pleasurable to have sex as such and rather just enjoy doing solo play by myself so I can control all my own pleasure aspects…

but some good tips I can recommend to help you with your partner is to amplify his sexual senses as they’ll be rather dulled down hence why you may find during sex he all a sudden looses erection and can’t get it back. Having some porn on in the background will help keep his mind tuned into the moment along with extra stimulation of areas such as his P spot. Maybe consider getting a small vibrator/ massager for him to try out.

And for another thing to throw in the mix, perhaps look at masturbating lubes what give off a tingly sensation on the skin :slightly_smiling_face:

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How about a vibrating cock ring, fun for both or pspot vib in him…

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@Green_Eyed_Girl My boyfriend has been on an SSRI medication (sertraline) for about the last 18 months for anxiety, but this is also used to treat depression, so others may also be taking it. We have seen the same side affects that others including @AJSTAR have mentioned with delayed ejaculation after a few months to generally no orgasm / cum after about 6 months.

For us it’s actually been a positive, as before, he would usually cum too quickly and now can go as long needed with PIV so we go until I’m done and can’t take anymore :joy: We definitely have better and more sex now and he has said a number of times that it is still very enjoyable for him and he doesn’t feel frustrated from not getting off himself. I’ve checked with him a few times on this and he’s said it’s actually a bit a of a relief and quite useful not to need to wank now.

We have tried a Hitachi wand vibrator on him and this works about 75% of the time to get him to his orgasm after about 10-15 minutes.

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I took that . Made it almost impossible to “finish” , I also found that I lost my erection during sex :pensive: . On the plus side ,it did help with my depression, making me overthink less ( if that makes sense) . The downside is that seems to have made me more callous, and less caring than I was . No idea what to do about that

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It’s definitely different compared with a guy only lasting a few minutes. Fortunately he can get and keep an erection no problem otherwise I think this would be a deal breaker and he would ask the doctor to try something else. It seems to have worked well for his anxiety with no other side effects other than him not cumming and his need to masturbate disappearing.

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Theres quite a few of us in the same boat due to meds, So its a good place to ask for advice. Using the search bar to find old threads might be a good idea too as it comes up pretty regularly so theres quite a few.

I find for me, relaxing and getting in the right headspace helps alot.

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Get two vibrators. Hold one behind his balls but actually on them, then hold the other against his asshole. Then BJ or HJ at the same time as the vibes, focussing on the frenulum. Works for me!

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I’d only take pharmaceuticals as a last resort but got quite depressed a few years ago following the deaths of dogs, people and trying to practice a type of Buddhism which only focused me more on the suffering in the world. I had to cut off from it before it drove me mad so made a conscious effort to ignore things I couldn’t do anything about. Yes, it has made me more callous and less caring but a more intellectual viewpoint can still be helpful in terms of finding a logical solution or offering advice.

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I spent years on different meds and it’s similar for women to men. Sex drives just dive and diminish - it’s not fair and it ruined our sex life for many years.
Thankfully I’m now med free and prefer it that way. Sex is now daily rather than monthly or longer between…

My advice would be to use porn, extra stimulants and have plenty of patience and understanding x

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I was wondering if it would be worth trying durex tingle gel?

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