So I am 44 and my wife is 42. I am notice a big spike in her libido when coming off her period and the last week has been more sex than I have had in 6 months.
That being said, our kids are in a good place, her business is back being busy from Covid (she works from home in the beauty industry), she has gotten some botox treatments in her face to eliminate some wrinkles (her idea and my blessing), she has been sleeping and we barely ever have an argument anymore about anything. I have busted my ass around the house to unload her chores and I have been drinking less - nothing during the week.
I have found that alcohol makes me a little too aggressive and although willing to try new things, it turns her off. So I am learning everyday!
That being said, I have started to send her cute notes or remind her I love her by text every day. As a mid 40’s man, being dirty or even steamy over text is not something that comes naturally… thus the question…
Where do you start sexting your OH at my age? I’m not gonna send her a dick pic… and I think I lack the confidence to even start the conversation.
My plan is to tell her “how much I love her smell and taste, the way her skin feels on mine, the warmth of me being inside her and how I am getting wet just sending this…” Something genuine and not out of character… However, I don’t want it too romantic! I want her to know that she is gonna get a good F@cking when it happens! I need this to be something that makes her smile, makes her wet, and makes her want it when it comes. It can’t come across as someone took my phone and sent her filthy words as that would be a turn off. I need it to start as about a 5 out of 10, escalate to a 7 or 8 and then drop off…leave her wanting more.
Basically anything you would usually say as dirty talk in bed is prime fodder for this sort of thing. Eg.
“The way you taste drives me mad, i cant stop thinking about burying my head between your (insert favourite body part here)”
It may just be me, but being specific and descriptive can be particularly effective (and im not the most subtle person in the entire universe so find it an easier jumping off point).
Dick picks can be fun but there are lots of other options if thats not your cup of tea. Something like laying out a selection of toys on the bed and asking her which one she wants to have you ise on her/use on you later can be fun. Or picking a few things you want to use and sending her a photo of them.
Even a picture of a bottle of lube on the bedside table is an option.
Sending a pick of some where in the house (like the kitchen table for example) and then telling her you want to bend her over it and…etc etc. Is an option too.
A tastefully chosen dirty meme is also fun. The forum is not short of them (im rather keen on the one that says something like “your running through my head naked”)
At the end of the day, dont stress, have fun. its all a learning experience so dont be afraid to screw up. And dont be shy of asking for feedback so you know what worked well for next time.
Easy Tiger. I never get drunk, ever. It does help me relax and helps me drop the inhibitions that keep sex vanilla. I’m not doing anything she doesn’t like or has consented to… in fact, she becomes more aggressive when she has had a glass of wine or two and I actually like it! I think you are misreading the message… I never hurt her or any other woman. Aggressive was obviously the wrong word, maybe “adventurous” would be more appropriate.
And if “sexting is Shite” to you, why are you replying? I have been married 22 years and we wouldn’t have things any other way. Thanks for your input though…
Just use your imagination, be creative put into words things you’d like her to do to you and vice versa. Whilst you’re bored at work or watching tv etc compose in your head some ideas.
Here’s an obvious tip - Be really careful that you’re sending the message to the right person! I’ve sent (non-sexual, thank god) messages to a group chat with my husband and inlaws on accident when I meant to send them to my husband. I typed his name in and it pulled up the group chat because it was more recent than my messages with him. Now I triple check
We usually don’t send sexy messages to each other. My husband gets too embarrassed to text stuff like that, but if he did, rather than a “I’m horny, I’m so hard” message, I’d rather receive a message with him saying what put him in the mood, what was he thinking about that got him so hard I usually text him when I’m going to masturbate, and sometimes I send him sexy lingerie pics Sometimes he comes home in the mood and sometimes not
I usually text him when I’m going to masturbate, and sometimes I send him sexy lingerie pics 
Sometimes he comes home in the mood and sometimes not 