My girlfriend and I were both virgins prior to us getting together and we were had a relatively good thing going until she switched birth control methods (from the arm implant to the pill) and her gyno had her double up on birth control methods and told her that her chances of pregnancy would be less than 1% while she was on both, so we decided to try sex without a condom for the first time while she was on the doubled birth control methods. The problem is she’s now on a single form of birth control (the pill) and she still prefers sex without a condom despite the risk of pregnancy, to the point where she often stops us having sex with a condom and asks me to take it off. For those wondering, we have talked it over and we both don’t want kids yet, she even suggested her getting an abortion if we had an accident.
So, what can we do to either spice things up or even safer ways for us to have sex without a condom on?
The doubled up birth control was because they were both hormone based and the arm implant has a 3 year life cycle, so the gyno wanted her to take, I think, 2 weeks of both to have her body adjust to the amount of hormones.
I will say we are being a bit overly cautious just because we don’t want to have kids yet, I know that when used it’s like maybe a 1% chance of pregnancy with the pill. On top of that we have maybe, 60 or more condoms from a variety pack we bought, so I want to at least get us through those. Feels like a waste of money to be in the moment and then just rip it off to finish, you know?
I personally don’t like condoms either. If I have to use one, I will go for the very thin ones. What kind do you use? You could maybe even try ribbed ones to spice it up if you haven’t already. I’m on the pill too and I’ve been on it for 3 years now and I haven’t gotten pregnant yet so I doubt you will get pregnant on them. She just has to make sure to take them on time every day and start new packs on time. That’s it really. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
Me personally I cannot stand them, I can’t feel him and I can’t orgasm with them, we just don’t enjoy sex using them. No contraception is 100%. I was on the pill for 20 years and for me they were horrendous, the latest one I was on gave me depression. And I don’t want to scare you, but just be prepared that you can still get pregnant on the pill, I did and now have 3 children. They kept switching my pill, but every women’s body is different, mine just didn’t adapt to the pill. So now I’m on the coil. The weight is just dropping off me, and depression gone. The best thing I done was having the coil
Aside from the first month of our marriage (I was only on birth control for a month or two), my husband has always worn condoms for piv sex, and neither of us have had any complaints. I haven’t really been impressed with the warming condoms we’ve tried, but I do like textured condoms (like ribbed, dotted, twisted) He’s never worn a condom during oral, but I am curious to try a flavored condom He goes in bareback for anal and enjoys it as a special treat
If you search condoms, there are some older condom centric threads you could browse through This more recent thread has some experiences and opinions that you might find helpful:
@EKG19 hello and welcome.
I’m going to echo what a few have said. 1 form if contraception should be enough. As long as you are aware of times that you should double up, ie, if she has to take certain meds like antibiotics etc or if she changes birth control then you should be fine. Like someone else says no birth control is 100% even condoms.
If you’re adamant you want to use them, you will have to talk to her openly and come to a compromise.
I’m on the pill (combination pill) and I feel it’s enough protection for me, if she’s taking it properly then it’s pretty effective I’ve been with my partner for over a year, he wore condoms for the first few months but we haven’t used them for a while and no problems yet I was also a virgin when we met and so the first few months with the condom was fine, but once he stopped using them it felt a lot better, for both of us I’m kind of in the same boat as her, I’m on the pill, don’t like sex with a condom, don’t want kids and would get an abortion if my birth control failed me In terms of “safer” ways to have sex without a condom he pulls out before he comes, though pre-cum does contain some sperm but much less than cum
Hmm I’d also suggest seeing if textured and flavoured condoms would do the trick and even using a stimulating lube what gives sensual tingles or fresh feelings of pleasure.
Either that or perhaps consider her wearing a femme Dom instead?!
Personally I’ve always hated using condoms. My wife was on the pill which worked for us. If you wanted to be a little bit more careful to reduce chances of pregnancy you could look at her fertility and avoid peak times. Also pull out before you cum. Neither 100% but might reduce chances a bit while avoiding condoms
We’ve used just condoms on their own pretty much exclusively for over 15 years. We’ve only had one break in all that time; I suspect it was user error (wrong size). And we took a trip to see the pharmacist the next morning.
It’s definitely worth checking out a few different brands and sizes to get the best fit. If they’re tight and stretched they are more likely to break in our experience. Over sized is more likely to slip and break too I’ve heard.
When we wanted to conceive, we got lucky and got pregnant straight away, so we know they definitely work!
Drizzling lube on the ourtside and inside is ok if you want less friction, in our experience. Friction is less safe all round. The suction created beteeen condom & peen keeps them firmly in place. I was always scared too much lube would just roll them off, but this reallly isn’t the case, as long as the fit is ok.
My favourite way to ‘suit up’ is to direct my wife to the condom and lube, and ask her to put it on me. I’ll hand her a wipe if she wants one too, but it’s a fun way to keep her hands busy so she’s not just sat watching (though sometimes she likes that)
Just wanted to reduce your worry a little bit and say that I was on the combined pill for almost 15 years before having children. Turns out I am highly fertile and the three times I have come off of it to try for a baby, I was pregnant the following month.
So… if taken properly it is a highly effective method
We’ve been using them for four years and whilst I hate them I hate birth control more. I refuse to go back to the implant and I have two ‘pill babies’ so that’s not an option for us. Husband has been refused a vasectomy by our local trust so we’re saving for it to be done privately.
Condoms are our only friend right now and they’re so unsexy We just make sure both of us carry one everywhere (just in case!) and we’re so quick at putting the raincoat on now it doesn’t affect things too much. I hate the feel of them but hey-ho!
Id rather have him wear a condom then ever have another baby!!!
Part of the issue we had was to do with physical sensitivities so we tried a trial pack of non-latex ones that offered a different feel and avoid allergic reactions.
I try to make the act of getting the condom on part of foreplay where possible by going down on her while I put it on for example.
Another option could be to go for a porn style finish and come without the condom but outside (where is up to you both) so you have the visual come shot but without the risk.
I think there’s a wider point here though about differing attitudes to risk and that’s worth thinking about before it becomes a potential issue.
If you don’t feel comfortable about unprotected sex then feeling like you have to could become a problem. Talking about what you would do if there was a pregnancy is very different from when that becomes a reality.
He’s never worn a condom during oral, but I am curious to try a 
He goes in bareback for anal and enjoys it as a special treat 
condoms
I’ve been with my partner for over a year, he wore condoms for the first few months but we haven’t used them for a while and no problems yet 
I was also a virgin when we met and so the first few months with the condom was fine, but once he stopped using them it felt a lot better, for both of us 
)
We just make sure both of us carry one everywhere (just in case!) and we’re so quick at putting the raincoat on now it doesn’t affect things too much. I hate the feel of them but hey-ho!