I can't feel ANYTHING during penetrative sex - please help! : (

I'm able to finish through clit stimulation but I feel absolutely nothing during penetration. It just feels like a medical procedure or something, having something put inside me is painless but doesn't give me any sensation at all. Feel like a freak of nature : ( I never expected fireworks but I at least want to feel something. Can someone please help me? I should maybe mention that I don't have a history of abuse or anything like that and I'm physically healthy. Is there any hope for me?

What kind of penetration are we talking, have you tried different sizes? Or trying to find you g spot? With an ex I couldn't get anything from it at all, I think it was due to a lack of emotional connection, small package and no g spot stimulation. It's totally different with my OH

Are you literally feeling nothing at all?

If so is there any chance you could have a problem in the nervous system or something similar?

There are a few nerve related problems that cause that.

Hopefully somebody else could offer more help, but might be ab idea to speak to a doctor.

Or are you feeling something but it's not exciting/ doing anything for you?

I've only ever been with my current partner (strong emotional connection) who is slightly bigger than average size. The only thing I've ever felt during sex is an urge to pee when we're in certain positions, and then I just panic and stop because I'm scared that I'm going to pee on him. It feels like that sensation comes from deeper inside, not the part nearer the opening (which is where I'd always heard sensation comes from). But either way it's not a pleasant sensation at all, just a strong urge to pee.

If it's not a pleasant sensation that stop doing it babes. Pleasure should be pleasurable. Don't worry if you can't come through penetration, I never have but still enjoy sex. I come really easily through clit action but only by myself, I've never felt comfortable orgasming with a boyfriend.

Sounds like g spot stimulation isn't your thing. Which is totally normal, it's not for everyone. Can you feel him inside you at all? If not it could be due to nerve problems. If you can feel him but don't really get off on it that's totally normal, women don't get much stimulation from penetration which is why additional stimulation on the outside of the vagina, clitoris and surrounding area, is so important.

My oh had a female friend when he was in the army and she to couldn't feel anything like you.
And he says that she went and to a gynecologist that was able to help her.

I would like to say trying a bigger toy isn't worth doing until you have been seen by a gynecologist.

We wish you all the best though x

@ young & fun - I can feel him inside me and I feel it moving in and out but even though it isn't painful or even uncomfortable it just isn't the slightest bit enjoyable.

If I move position I get the needing to pee sensation. Does that eventually change to something more enjoyable if you keep at it or is that all gspot stimulation feels like? If so that's such a huge disappointment to me - so much hype and all it feels like is drinking too much water?!

That's totally normal, there's not really much stimulus for women inside, there's nothing wrong with you, do you have any dildos? Try one with a bigger girth, the extra stretching may provide you with more sensation. But really it's totally normal and there's not a lot you can do, get a vibrating cock ring so you can have clit stimuation during penetration. Do you get more stimulation when he goes deep?

the need to pee usual shows you're a squirted, you could stick at it and could possibly have an orgasm from it but from my understanding not every orgasms when they squirt.

When you feel like you need to pee...keep going! I get this a lot, and didn't have an orgasam with anyone until my husband because I was so scared I was going to pee! I too got pretty down about it, and eventually it made me not want to have much sex at all. But that peeing sensation you're getting is actually the beginning of an orgasam.

I know it's a bit worrying, but go to the toilet before you have sex and make sure your bladder is empty and you should be totally fine, you won't actually pee, but it is a bit of a worry at first.

Maybe before you panic,you should play with yourself a bit and see if you still feel nothing,maybe include some toys..With some partners I didn't feel anything,too,but that's just because they were not doing it right.

Kittyondrugz wrote:

Maybe before you panic,you should play with yourself a bit and see if you still feel nothing,maybe include some toys..With some partners I didn't feel anything,too,but that's just because they were not doing it right.

Exact same problem here with my ex but it's a difficult subject to talk about lol


well, the stimulation of g spot is for lot of women associated with the need to pee. I would say it you want to be on the safe side, go to the bathroom before you have sex to empty your bladder.

I would also recommend learning more about your body using toys. It can help a bit. I personally found I became more sensitive for internal stimulation after using Kegall balls for a while, but it still took me bit of time to have a full orgasm.

My advice would be really try to learn about you body and experiment. A toy will give you a chance to do it at your own pace, and without the need to worry about someone elses need for that moment.

With so much importance put into penis in vagina penetration, I can understand why you are confused or panicking. PIV penetration is often seen as the big finale, the most pleasurable act, the thing we are all working towards during each sex session.

However, what you described sounds absolutely normal. Completely, utterly normal. The vagina itself does not contain many nerve endings within. We tend to feel the penis at or around the entrance of the vagina and by "feel" I mean, we can feel it stretching us open and we can kind of feel it brushing back and forth as it goes in and out. Inside, we feel very little except a "full" sensation and, as you described, g-spot stimulation (that needing to pee feeling) Everything you described is exactly what most of us women feel.

Aside from our minds, our main, physical erogenous zone, or the main part of our body that gives us pleasure and orgasms, is the clitoris and this is often only stimulated indirectly, or completely overlooked during penetration, depending on position and the shape of your vulva.

Approx 70% of women cannot orgasm through penetration alone. They need clitoral stimulation at the same time. Even then, some find it difficult.

Most of us women find sex pleasureable when the experience is a combined one. First of all, the psychological thrill of being connected or indulging in something so intimate with someone we are attracted to/love. The psychological thrill includes hearing/seeing how much we turn our partner on etc and is powerful enough to be satisfying in its own right and even push us to orgasm sometimes. Our mind is an incredibly powerful tool when it comes to arousal. We also may be aroused by the general sensations of fullness, and the brushing sensation at the opening. Some of us do enjoy the g-spot sensations and can orgasm from that, but to push the physical pleasure sensations higher, many of us (70%) need stimulation to our clitoris at the same time as penetration happens. Either we touch ouselves, use vibrators or even have our partners touch us.

Your vagina sounds very normal to me. I think you may be working yourself up, worrying so much about what you can't feel, that you are maybe not in the moment, relaxing, fantasising, listening to him and becoming aroused through the act itself. I also suspect that, like many women, orgasm will come from clitoral stimulation rather than the penetration alone.

I think you need to remove some stress from yourself and talk to him about it, tell him what your worried about.

Worrying about peeing would distract you from everything else and I highly doubt youd actually do that and if you did I doubt he would even mind!

Just remember you dont have to do anything, take things slowly, talk things over and do what you feel comfortable with without pushing yourself too hard.

I have a similar problem, well, I wouldn't call mine a problem as I still really enjoy sex, I just don't orgasm. I can feel my boyfriends penis, and I really enjoy the streching feeling I get and the feeling of the head of his penis pushing against me, but it isn't an overwhelming pleasure, I could quite easily lay there and not make a sound or even crack a smile or an expression of effort. The pleasure I get from sex is mainly the emotional connection and being able to touch him body and feel him touching mine rather than purely vaginally. I do love sex, but based JUST on the feeling of vaginal penatration, no, its nothing special.

Saying that though, I am a squirter (although as said before I don't orgasm). I too get this need to pee feeling, both myself and my boyfriend can feel the vagina wall by my bladder go almost rock hard and tighten up, and then after a bit more vaginal stimulation I get this massive realse of liquid. I promise you it isn't pee, yes it does come out of the same hole but its almost clear and doesn't smell of anything (other than sweat or vagina of course). I personally not really enjoy the feeling a squirting, it is way too messy and I don't get the big orgasm along with it like most women do, I literally just feel like I'm suddenly exploding half a pint of warm water from my utrethra in about 3 seconds. My boyfriend loves it though.

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughtful responses.

@ fluffbags I think you've hit the nail on the head! I'm young and still quite new to this and I think I've been duped by the likes of cosmo type magazines, SATC and films that always make it seem like PIV sex is the only thing that counts as 'real' sex and everything else is just foreplay.

I think being bombarded with that kind of message from a young age set my expectations pretty high and I panicked when I started having PIV sex and thought wth this is it?! For me, PIV sex has been the biggest dissappointment since finding out Santa isn't real!

I really appreciate all the responses, it's been so helpful and reassuring to hear from real people about their experiences to counteract all the rubbish I've been exposed to. I've decided to buy some kegel balls and a gspot vibe to see if I can find some physical enjoyment from it and if that doesn't work I'll just try a small vibe during sex.

Thanks again everyone, this has taken a big weight off my mind x

Joining the party late, but I hope tje bit of self exploration helps! I echo what most the other peeps have said, and just remember to relax :)

Yep... I know your feels.

Clitoral stimulation is important in sex. I'd suggest you should get a cock ring, get some clitoral toys and do foreplay with them...try getting your partner to go in and out so it touches your g-spot, which is only an inch or two inside the vagina, the angle he's going in is important too, and different positions (doggy works best for me).

Also are you turned on? For me it's very hard to turn me on/get me wet, if you watch porn then it should help strike up your senses.