I need some honest advice please urgently!

Off-Topic Chat
22

If you want my take on this , then it is as follows.

As the relationship is finished , you both need to move on . You both need space to come to terms so any contact short term isnt going to be healthy for either of you.

So just be honest with him say its not a good idea and if there are any costs incurred such as loss of deposits etc then be prepared to reimburse him, assuming he has paid or part paid of course , which I think would be the honourable thing to do .

Splitting up is never easy I know that from personal experience but seeing each other shortly after may rekindle unwanted feelings so just don't, but keep any dialogue sypathetic and tactful ie explain you think its for the best that we don't see each other for some time for when you tell him.

Good luck.

23

Thank you everyone for your advice.

After numerous messages last night and this morning he is still saying he wants to meet one last time for closure.

I've told him I don't want to, there is no point.

His emotional blackmail is exhausting.

24

There is some great advise that has been posted, there isn't anything I can add.

Just wanted to say, once you've made a decision, stick to your guns,

Good luck x

25

delilahxx wrote:

Thank you everyone for your advice.

After numerous messages last night and this morning he is still saying he wants to meet one last time for closure.

I've told him I don't want to, there is no point.

His emotional blackmail is exhausting.

You are quite right.

Meeting up isn't going to do either of you any good . I am pretty sure that you would have given him the reasons for ending it already .

So don't do it . Telephone conversation at best if it really merits one .

27

lmh95 wrote:

Would it be easier for you to send him one last message to let him know that it is definitely over, say goodbye and tell him because you feel so harassed by him that you will be deleting him and then block him so he can't pester you any further?

If you do decide to meet for one last time then please make sure it is in a busy public place and bring a friend.
He sounds desperate and I wouldn't want you to be alone with him in that frame of mind. Take care x

This was going to be my response too. I've had to do the same thing myself recently. There wasn't necessarily emotional blackmail involved for me, but the constant never ending message that got no one anyone and a reluctance to move on, made blocking my only option as I too was exhausted by it all.

28

Thanks again everyone. All your advice is exactly the same as all the people at work I confided in.

I did tell him he could come Saturday and stay in a hotel and go home Sunday, but my gut intinct is saying no.

So tomorrow I will let him know I don't want to see him, and if he starts sending lots of messages I will block him.

I do want the opportunity to pay him if he's out of pocket, but I will not put up with being harassed just to do that.

I think so many people saying exactly the same thing, shows it is the right thing to do.

Thank you

29

Stay strong and safe x

Don't give in to him

31

Thinking off you stay strong xxxx💖

32

He clearly thinks that if you meet face-to-face, he can reel you back in.

My advise is to tell him no (via message or phone, not in person), and then block him on your phone, FB and wherever else you have.

Keep strong!

33

I sent him a message this morning. He replied with a long message, but basically saying he thought love was always worth fighting for.

I just don't understand his mentality, if one person in the relationship doesn't want it, there is no love worth fighting for.

Anyway, it's done, it's all over. I'm drained. Time to move on from this :)

34

Hugs from me to you xxxxxx💖

35

Hunny bun wrote:

Hugs from me to you xxxxxx💖

Thank you :) xxx

36

We're sending some positive vibes and strength in your direction. I know it's never easy to say no to someone, especially when they try so hard to be persausive, but you did well to stick to your limits. Be proud of that and focus on you now because you deserve to be happy :)

37

Put yourself first now xxx 💖

38

Hope your ok, sending hugs.

39

Hope it's worked out..

40

hi Delilah. I'm not familiar with the ins and outs of the relationship but I do remember you being in pieces over one incident with him which sounded bad.

I'm glad you've found the strength and courage to walk away. As for his harassment you don't need that it's not helping either of you. I advise either blocking him or don't open the messages, just got that delete button. He's bombarding you with messages begging you to meet him so he can try to get you back as he thinks he'll be able to 'talk you round' face to face and in a hotel too is a recipe for disaster. I'd bet my house he would try it on. Please don't put yourself in that situation as it could be a disaster.

Hope you're okay and staying strong. Sending positive vibes and hugs hunni 😙💟xx

41

It will be for the best. It's better for you and eventually he will come to realise in time it is also better for him. A relationship needs 2 to tango and if thst isnt there then there is no point in carrying on.

Good luck xx

42

Big thank you to everyone for all your good advice, support and comfort.

That's why I love Lovehoney, so many lovely people you've never met always ready to help :)

43

Hope we helped :)