AsYouWish! wrote:
Have you asked him? I assume everyone is different and her may prefer some activity or none but I wouldn't assume it. Taking the decision without him may emphasise his psychological impotence.
OH is notoriously rubbish at looking at toys, he is very "what do I want that for" untill it arrives the. It's more like "why did I not get this before". I have chosen all our toys and he has loved almost all of them. My OH's impotence is entirely drug (medication) related. His BP has been dropped from 220/140 (rediculously high) to around 110/80 and the Dr still want it a bit lower. It's all an attempt to reduce the strain on his left atrium, which is having to do all the pumping that the left ventricle should be doing.
I must admit the increase in afection and cuddles is very nice, but slightly selfishly I do miss the sex.
What I was meaning is, he might prefer to watch you play or not; may prefer to have you use a toy on him or not etc.... Have you discussed it with him? I am sure he realises you need orgasms, you are not ill or on medication. You are being very strong. You are lucky to have found each other.
As you say, you want to make your wedding night special. Invest in a new massage oil r maybe lovehoneys melting massage candle. Would he consider a fleshlight for stimulation. Sexy lingerie and sensual massage I’m sure will be appreciated Now I have heard that via a gp you can get a pump device that will produce a sustained erection. If he’s not keen to go to the drs ask if you can go yourself for advice or see if he will go with you. Most of all try and keep communication open between yourselves. I wish you find some solution and enjoy your wedding. X
Hi Louise
I have one other suggestion on the information front. Perhaps your OH would be more receptive to ideas if they come from medical sources. There is one notable researcher in this field - a man who himself suffers ED and has published a number of papers on lateral thinking approaches to ED. His name is Richard Wassersug. If you google “Wassersug dysfunction” you will find links to his academic papers. They are couched in the typical language of the medical profession but the guy has clearly thought a lot about how toys and a wider view about overcoming the problems is helpful.
I have sadly wasted too much of my life reading scientific papers and I can say that these are the only ones which gave cause to any arousal! You might find them worth reading anyway.
Thanks Asyouwer, sorry if I miss understood. Mistress k58 we still,indulge in massage, it use to be forplay but now it's just sensual fun. I have a new bra and thong that he hasn't seen yet so I was going to wear that on the evening of the wedding.
Gyrator53 I will have a look at the articles, I'm quite science based and can usually follow medical journals and papers, thanks for the suggestion.