Hi all. My SO has recently suggested the idea of introducing light bondage play into our sex life and I was wondering what you all think would be a good place to start?
For context she already loves blindfolds and light nipple play (such as suction and gentle pulling) More recenty however has suggested me stopping her from closing her legs during orgasm etc and expressed interest in exploring areas like that.
Im all on board with going more in that direction but neither of us have no idea where to start.
Hello there , firstly you need to sit and talk as to what you BOTH want to achieve and get out of it , there are plenty of online tutorials out there and plenty of sexual questionaires you could look at , they are quite fun to do and you will be amazed what you can learn about each other , as a Dominant for best part of 40 years i believe all the advice in the world from others comes nowhere near as good as learning together ( and its bloody good fun ) . During and after each play time session there is nothing as important as communication , saying what you didnt enjoy is just as important as saying what you did enjoy , just relax and remember its supposed to be fun
It sounds like you’ve had a good conversation so far, and definitely keep talking about things.
In terms of where to start though, I would suggest taking a look at a kit. That way you get multiple different things to try so if something isn’t to your taste then there’s still plenty more to try.
I would suggest going for one with an under bed restraint as these will help keep her legs open and give her quite a helpless feeling (but the good kind of helpless).
If you can’t quite find a kit that fits, you can always use them as inspiration to build your own.
I am Canadian so the links I will use are from the Canadian website of Lovehoney
Under the bed restraints are great if you can get them. They tend to include everything you need: handcuffs, ankle cuffs, under the bed restraints. A set of under the bed restraints is what I started with.
They’re great because you can use them in all sorts of different ways and positions: on front, on back, use sideways on the wrist to make an impromptu spanking bench or other fun positions, use diagonally to make a more narrow/laying down position. Spread them to change the restraint position to more of a starfish or more of a arms spread wide or whatever.
With under the bed restraints you can also do fun stuff (consensually) like blindfold them, feed them, massage them, tease them, put your body parts all over them, etc
Or even a simple pair of soft handcuffs. Tie them on something with rope, wear them while in all sorts of positions on, off the bed or even other rooms of the house
I generally find I repeat a lot of the advice I give so I’m not going to keep retyping it as I do have lots to do today, however, I will be throwing a bunch of links your way:
First of all, I second the bondage set that @Kinky-Kitten recommended. I wrote a review on it on my blog, which you can read here.
Secondly, I have a free BDSM education workshop on my blog that I built with my husband from our more than 15 years shared experience. You can find that here, including our free checklist like @Domandsub4eva mentioned, we also have some other free resources here.
But I would suggest starting at the beginning, if you look at what type of bondage they are into?
BDSM with whips and chains, or CNC (consensual non consensual) etc. you can then get a good idea of what they are into. If they like their legs being forced open as stated in your message then forced orgasms may be fun? Have you thought about holding their arms above their head and using a wand on their clit? Tell them you are in control and force them to cum etc?
Communication is everything within bondage so number one rule… communication and safe word!!
Thanks all for your guidence and suggestions. I think looking into a set of underbed restraints and maybe a starter kit will be a good place to begin from reading your comments and looking into it.
The softer ones dont look too complicated or intimidating either and should be enough for us to have some fun and a bit of a play.
