My boyfriend has given me the go ahead that he wants to try anal stimulation/play on him.
We’ve been together a while and are very comfortable with each other. We’re into anal play with me (female), but he’s never done anything like that before and I’ve got minimal experience doing it with guys, let alone introducing it!
So I’m hoping for any tips please, potentially from those that’ve been in that situation before (preferably with male anatomy, due to the differences in sensations compared to female anatomy), but overall any recommendations are welcomed
We’ve got a small vibrating insertable toy (just less than finger sized) and a medium men’s p-spot vibrating plug. Oh and plenty of anal lube.
I’ve got long fingernails and so my expectations were to use toys for anything internally, to make sure I don’t hurt him.
Overall I just really wanna take it slow and not scare him away from it - as the idea of doing it to him too really turns me on
Can I suggest before you try inserting anything that you just get him used to things happening in that area?
I’d say the perfect start would be rimming, and then try to progress with a finger, then maybe a second, then something that maybe vibrates etc.
I actually started my self! I would suggest letting him have a go so he can tell if it’s hurting (to big wrong position etc). Start with his own fingers he will be able to find where the pressure feels good and then will be to point (pun certainly intended) to the right area
Use lube, use lube , use lube and then use a little more .
If your careful nails won’t be an issue either as long as they are rounded edges and not sharp corners! In fact in may even help to start slipping a finger in!
Good luck enjoy and use lube
@Abbi_Charlotte
It’s good to hear he wants to start with anal and what others say is correct and as you will know it’s important not to rush as it can hurt
I started anal on my man years ago with a small butt plug and from there got bigger and bigger and of course lots of lube
Once a bit bigger get a vibrator and see if he is ok on taking a small vibrator as in the past I found the butt plug opens the main door but anal muscles can stop further penetration
It took about 2 years until my husband was able to take a thin dildo (strap on ) but after this we easily got bigger and he loves it
Communication is the way, plenty of lube and building it up slowly, slowly stretching him.
Watch those nails lol
Vibrater slowly opening then onto the p spot.
Once your both happy you can progress onwards and upwards and see where it leads… Pegging him with a harness later
We already know he loves the vibrations from the outside so that’s why both toys have them, but I’ll play around with using them with and without vibration. Thank you!
I remember it took me a couple of years before I really enjoyed dildos being used or just anal itself, but wasn’t sure if that was because our the differences in male/female anatomy
Thank you! I’m in no rush to pressure him to progress further/quicker than he wants to, as I’m really here for him to feel good and not necessarily the pleasure of being dominant. Although I do already own said strap on
@Abbi_Charlotte
I think it’s the same for both male and female when it comes to anal - training is what I called it others call it stretching- but start small - they do some lush metal ones with a jewel on the end and easy to wear
Me and my man both enjoy anal over vag as I can can take deeper and he loves me pegging him which is also a turn on for me too
Lots of really great comments here already - the only thing I haven’t seen (sorry if I missed it) is just the gentle reminder not to insert anything without a flared or T shaped base.
For myself, I have enjoyed vibrations around the perineum long before I really got around to enjoying insertion. Graduated plug sets are a great addition, as are some of the newer “bead” style plugs. You can also get plugs/vibrators that extend forward with attached cockrings/ball cages that are fun.
A strap-on set is a great way to get a slim dildo and the option to play with pegging. Or if you’re not so much interested in that, just the slim dildo can be fun for play, but if we’re not pegging I tend to prefer just a prostate massager. I recently replaced my first one with the Mantric and it’s phenomenal. Took a bit to adjust to the size difference - if it’s infrequent play, even 1/4" size increase takes time to build to!
As we started this exploration, we found that it worked well early on actually to masturbate side by side and I kept control of my own anal play. That allowed a lot more getting comfortable with the sensation and being able to control my own pace and comfort. Pegging, etc. really came later.
Outside of toys, one of my favorite things is rimming. I’ve found it’s one of the easiest ways to incorporate my anal play while holding the dominant role, as I love pairing it with face-f*cking and teabagging; I can sit on her face and go back and forth asserting my power and just absolutely soaking in the pleasure. Pairs especially well in a 69 position whether I want to thrust between her breasts while she’s licking me, or go down on her or play with clit/vulva.
Congrats to you on wanting to explore anal with your partner and being open to try to things. Some good advice already given however one question I have to ask?
Has your partner ever tried anal play of any kind alone? Just speaking from my own experience as a guy, I feel it’s really a good idea to explore anal play alone first. By doing so there is no worries of mess in front of a partner because as they say “shit happens”. Doing so also allows one to really take their time and get used to stimulation of this area at their own pace allowing them to key in on what may feel good and what doesn’t. Enjoying anal play is a marathon not a race and can take a long time to really begin to enjoy.
Also don’t expect amazing pleasure the first time. For me, it took a along time and trying lots of toys to figure out what really works for me and the kind of stimulation I need to achieve a prostate orgasm. As others have said, lots of communication will be key, take your time and slowly work up to more intense play, and lube lube lube.
Anal is a journey but can be very worthwhile as it can bring amazing pleasure. Have fun and good luck.
This is great feedback, too. I think it’s also worth noting (it’s come up on the forum a couple times recently, and has definitely been my experience) that anal play can inhibit strong erections which does not mean lack of arousal. I have yet to experience a hands-free or totally prostate stimulated orgasm, but I have had regular experience of anal play + very lubed up penis play resulting in a wet orgasm from a semi or even flaccid state. I think it’s a good warning for the partner in beginning this exploration that erection and arousal may become less correlated in this area.
Also, I have to pee a lot when I play with my butt. Dunno what that means, but feels worth sharing.
Great news for you and hopefully for him I would see how he feels trying things out solo to see what he likes or just start small with rimming or a starter plug, he may not be too bothered by the small plug and prefer the pspot or vibe.
It’s really just a case of starting small and slow, lots of lube and go from there take it 1 step at a time.
p.s. not that i think you need telling but make sure any insertables are flared or the like. I’ve seen many non flared items go missing and it will take you from 100 to 0 real quick
Try some small metal butt plugs to start with, you cant beat the classic medium butt plug though, have some baby wipes handy and lube goes without saying, you may find he really likes it, a tongue feels amazing just see howvthings go
, potentially from those that’ve been in that situation before (preferably with male anatomy, due to the differences in sensations compared to female anatomy), but overall any recommendations are welcomed
that was the plan, sorry I didn’t make it clear. We’ve used the vibrations on the outside too
so that’s why both toys have them, but I’ll play around with using them with and without vibration. Thank you!
and not necessarily the pleasure of being dominant. Although I do already own said strap on 
I would see how he feels trying things out solo to see what he likes or just start small with rimming or a starter plug, he may not be too bothered by the small plug and prefer the pspot or vibe.