I'm in a very new relationship (although we've known each other for four/five years) and I'm just wondering about how you go about letting them know (espechially when your a bit of a lingerie+toy hoarder like me :P) about your collections?
I dont want to spring anything on him and make him uncomfortable, the sex is already really good so I dont need the toys to make an apearence when we are together although i do have visions of him tying me up and slowly using my new glass dildo on me, I dunno... it just seems like it would be really hot and sensual.
I've heard that some guys are intimidated by phalic toys, I dont feel like he needs to be, becuase he's actually bigger that all the toys I own. Chances are I will only use my toys solo but I'd hate for him to feel like I was sneaking around with my toys? :L
Hello,
maybe to start with, you can ask him how he feels about toys? And start a discussion about it?
If he has previous experience, your situation will be much easier. And you can slowly discuss your collection. My ex did not I used toys when I was single so we discussed it openly and I admitted that I still use them when we are apart in the beginning, until he actually used them on me.
Generally, if he does not have much experience it would be better to start with a smaller toy, like a bullet, or a cock ring. Those are small and chances are he will not be intimidated. And then slowly introduce other toys. For me, communication was always the key. And if we did not see each other for a while, I maybe shared a link to LH with the toy, or sent a photo, so he could see it. And I asked for his opinion.
He was rather accepting, but not all guys are. So starting a conversation about sex toys before introduction could make things bit more easy?
Hey there and congrats on the new relationship. I think I started out with a sext about being at home playing with my vibrator thinking about him, which seemed to get a good reception. That was followed up by me getting out my lovehoney lace and satin ties when he was taking a bathroom break and putting them on my wrists, leaving it up to him to decide whether to tie them to the bed or each other or leave them when he came back in. He asked what else I had laying around, and I pointed him in the direction of my goodies drawer. I do have a couple of toys that I haven't introduced him to - it's still a new thing here too, and I believe a girl should have some secrets - and I've got some new ones now that we talked about trying together. I think a guy that's intimidated by a toy is not the right guy for me, they should be able to see the potential for more fun to be had together.
As for the lingerie, who wouldn't enjoy being treated to viewing a new outfit every time they come by?!
Have fun! I'm sure he'll love your collections!
As for introducing him to toys then start off with something small and inocent lke a bullet vibrator. Our first toy was the Tracey Cox bullet vibrator and still is a favourite with us. Don't forget you can use this on him as well . I would recommend you using something like that on him first before showing him how it works on you . It will allow him to climatise. If he isn't bothered about being blindfolded than do that first and then try it on him.
Good luck
You could leave your glass dildo out near the bed, and see if he mentions it, and take it from there using his response, given the kink I am if my OH left her dildo out I would probably lick it
Lavelia I do think a cockring would be ideal, as like you said Mysteron it will be good for him first (hopefully). I've actually never used one either so it will be new to both of us!
Ha! I love the idea of leaving my glass dildo out as a not so subtle 'hint' espechially if it encourages him to use it on me! Maybe a little further down the line when I have a better idea of how open he is too it all.
Thanks for all your help guys, I think I was getting a little panicked that he'd think I was a sex crazed lune and run for the hills :L
I'll keep you updated with how a vibe/cockring goes down. And may send some kinky messages about my toys to test the water and get him interested like you said happy vibes!
You could start by asking how he feels about toys in general, maybe say you have coupled up friends who enjoy using them together and see how he responds. If he's receptive you could start by using couple toys like a cock ring or we vibe and then maybe introduce him to a small bullet/glass toy.
Generally, I think it's best to stay away from anything big, noisy or phallic shaped to start off with. You could maybe even make a wishlist of non-intimidating toys and ask him to have a look and see if there's anything he'd be happy to try. If he doesn't seem receptive at all to toys, you could introduce him to things like massage candles or silk tie restraints or something first to get him interested in this side of things - my first purchase from here was a small bullet. It was meant to be my first and last but now I've reviewed over 40 items and still have loads more to write up!
I would ask if he has ever used sex toys before and go from there. Maybe starting of small and working you're way up.
I'll admit I'm one of those people who just lays it out there and then, fortunately I haven't had a man yet run for the door when seeing them.
I'm a straight guy, who was new to sex toys a few years ago, I had not had any experience using them on girls. One girlfriend I was dating at the time for a little over a week, had her dildo under her pillow, and well it was a little embarrassing for her I think, (could have been planted to see what I thought), but I found it whilst in bed next to her. I asked her if I could use it on her... And well I did and both enjoyed it. From there we experimented with other toys, and she asked could she use them on me, anally, I was a little dubious but also a little turned on / intrigued... So I let her, and really liked it... We bought 2 vibrating inflatable butt plugs, one for me and one for her, it is by far the best sex I have ever had. Unfortunately the relationship didn't last due to her moving to America with her family. I would like to experience that again, but not sure how to bring that up etc, it's seems a no go saying it was the best sex ever with an, with a girlfriend, and slightly taboo the anal sex thing... Any suggestions?