I am wary of chivalry and have a knee jerk reaction to guys who say they are chivalrous. Why? Because I am now in my thirties and have witnessed first hand a number of guys who seem to "use" chivalry as a way to get into your pants. (Then develop the nice guy complex when you rebuke them.)
I know people here will assume its a feminist way of thinking but I disagree. I support womens and mens rights equally and I am straight. I like men lol. There are just as many assholes on each side of the gender fence but I do question chivalry...like....Why run around to open a car door for a woman but not for your guy mates? Clearly women can open car doors just as well as men...and before you shout out "Its chivlarous...its a nice thing to do", why don't you do exactly the same for your guy mates then? (Genuine question, not a scathing remark) I also assume that if a guy ran around to open a car door for his guy friend, the guy friend would probably say something too (In this day and age I imagine the comment from the guy friend would be something scathing or awkward. Its just not the "done thing" with your guy mates so of course this is why chivalry, in my opinion, can often seem like an effort to win a lady over or get in her pants.
See maybe I am just blinded by the men that I have met in the past who used this utter crap on me. The very same ones who turned out to be the most selfish or sulky people when their efforts didnt get reciprocated. They seriously developed this "I am so nice so why am I not getting everything my own way" issue. The guys that I have seen being "chivalrous" only seem to extend to the girl he is after and not balancing this apparant chivalrous nature out to encompass all people around him, not just the girls he wants to bone.
I dont even like the word chivalry. Mainly because it feels a bit patronising. When you think chivalry you think "men coming to the aid of women" I like genuine people genuinely helping others based on nothing but seeing a fellow human (male or female) struggling, If I was struggling and a male or female came to help me I would be grateful and thank them politely but chivalry as a concept just irks me. I think its fake, something designed to try and get the girl, and once the girl is got, this chivalry business stops. I can't count the amount of times I have experienced the love poems and the car doors being opened and the massages and the carrying of my bags, jumping up to pull out my chair all of this jazz, only to watch it fade away in time because essentially we are human beings and we cant keep up an act forever. I have not met one guy yet who started out being chivalrous in these ways, only to stop bothering after we got together. If you knew how many guys would offer to help me with things in my lifetime, only to suddenly lose interest in helping if I got a boyfriend. Suddenly these guys, these "friends" are not around any more. It really begs the question....whct the hell is chivalry anyway? I believe chivalry is an act, and that genuine kindness to other human beings is genuine. I do not think I have ever seen a chivalrous guy jump up and pull out a ladies chair when shes with a bloke....
The thing is I also feel that chivalry also paves the way to the nice guy complex which also makes me feel like chivalry is used as a tool for manipulation.
Before you all hack me to death: I believe there is a difference between genuinely nice helpful people and this chivalry malarky and it sounds to me like the OP was being genuinely helpful to another human and got his ass handed to him by someone who wasnt a nice person. I aint accusing every man of only being nice for one thing but I do wonder why guys cannot understand why women distrust chivalry. I am sure women all around have many experiences like I mention above with guys who ARE just trying to shag us. Surely you must understand then, why some women do not trust it?. I just personally have a very bad taste in my mouth when it comes to chivalry.
I really would rather no one was chivalrous with me and just acted like a kind human being and acted the way they would with anyone. You know?
IMO chivalry is bullocks :P
Ok guys, you can rip me to shreds now lol.... :P
Also.... Women are feminists if they do not like something you personally like, or if they do not have the same standards as you? To me, this is like calling a woman a slut because shes slept with more men than your comfortable with or calling her fat because shes larger than the women you fancy or calling her a lesbian because she wont shag you....etc etc and so on. If the tables were turned you'd be like woahhhh wait a minute. I think men and women deserve to be equally respected and if a woman does not like chivalry, or doesnt want you to carry her bags...then respect that and don't jump straight to "Feminazi". If a woman offered to carry your bags and you said "no" does that make you a woman hater? :S