Is Fetlife safe?

I was going to join Fetlife but have read reviews warning of poor security, so I’m a little wary.

Does anyone have any experience of the site, good or bad?


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It’s as safe as any other online forum or contact site.

Whenever you interact online it’s possible to maintain anonymity by using non-personal info - a different email address than you use day to day, not revealing names, ages, locations or other personal info. Any website can theoretically be hacked. But if you’ve used details that don’t reveal your identity that that info isn’t really much use.

I left fetlife. The vibe was going all wrong. If you’re looking to find out what’s going on in your local scene then it’s fine It was the amount of comments I saw from the ladies on there who were getting messages that were variations ‘hey babe want to #$&£’ or if they identified as a sub then it would 'I’m your Dom now, do this’made me think it was becoming toxic.

Then they’re was an issue with people’s real life being found/linked and then it getting out to friends and family.

Go on and check it out by all means I want the only one who was leaving. Kind of felt like the site was dying.


I noticed it going downhill a few years ago as well

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It’s the same with many sex related sites.

What started out many moons ago as small, closer knit communities (whether fetishism related, swinging or many a vanilla site) have grown in popularity due to the publicity generated online and attracted people both not really interested in the topic at hand but also those who want to use such sites for reasons they weren’t necessarily set up for.

Any online site will attract those with aulterior motives, those looking for a quick thrill and those just looking to troll and harass others.

Tis the joy of Internet life unfortunately.

That said any site is only as good as the people on it and it’s just a question of using common sense and sensible precautions when engaging with complete strangers online. Plenty of people enjoy online life safely and get a great deal of pleasure from doing so.

Is it safe? It’s as safe you make it with how much you want to share.

Is it worth it? It’s a free hook up site for predatory miscreants that poses as a sexual fetish site. If you want to find out helpful information about sexual kinks, fetishes, health of general info, then stay here.

If you want to waste your time on a site that is basically a popularity contest for only fans models milking their simp fanbases while fake dick avatar perverts harass you with one sentence replies that amount to the grunts of cave dwelling man, then fetlife is the place.


I personally think that says it all, never been on there and never will now, thank you :pray:t2:

Fetlife is as safe as most social media or community type sites. A lot will depend on how you use it.

Yes, there will always be idiots, predators and those that don’t understand consent, but there are ways to control that, such as altering your inbox setting, choosing who can see your content and not putting your real age or location on your profile (soooo many 100 year old kinksters living in Antarctica).

But, at the same time, it can be a great place to find local events, get advice, get inspiration and connect with people.


It’s as safe you make it. Keep your face, age and location hidden and set your privacy settings to keep those unwanted messages at bay and it’s a great place to explore I have made several friends who I regularly chat to on there.
I have learnt alot of new things to try as well. Feel free to ask any questions you may have and I’ll see if I can help.

Hello! I have been on fetlife much, and I love it! I attended a group that met frequently at bars and clubs just to socialize and to support one another. There are so many ways to connect and activities to do there. The best way to be safe, is to find a friend and build trust with them first. Once you feel safe with them, see who they are friends with. Join groups. Attend events. See who is regularly attending and become friends with like-minded people. I once hooked up with a guy I found to be sexually compatible to me and never knew his real name. I went to his house while the kids were in school, and holy shit was the sex amazing! I risked my safety at that time, not knowing him other than our talks on fetlife, but I think using your discernment is a good thing to do regardless. Go for ot! Love the site myself. edited I haven’t been active lately because I married. Best of luck!