Oh, something I meant to put in my original reply...
Do you make plenty of time for solo sex? If you and your partner are mis-matched as far as sex drive, you may find that spending more time masturbating and loving yourself will help balance you :)
Everyone seems to agree that it is cheating. There is a good book called ' Not just friends' by Shirley Glass. It talks about emotional affairs and how sharing personal information can develop into more. It's worse if you have a 'history' with the other person. It obviously depends in your relationship, as people have said, but it nearly killed me when I found out about mine and her ex being in contact like this, long distance and only via Facebook, email etc. The lies were the worst. Trickle truth. It started with her saying 'he's just a friend of my brother from school.' It took a year of hell and almost divorce for the truth to fully emerge and the real communication to start. I had to look at what I was doing wrong (as he will have to as well) as well as what she was doing wrong. That was a couple of years ago and we are really strong and honest now. Communication and truth are key. I saw our marriage as black and white, but found out she wanted something several shades in between. ;-)
For the pleasure and excitment you may get from having fun with your ex will be nothing compared to the hurt your partner will feel if he finds out, especialy if he does genuinly love you, please dont do this to him, I have been through it many years ago and the pain was like loseing a close relative, It took me over a year and counseling to even start to get over the pain.
Yes, next question
ScumptiousDumptious wrote:
Thank you.
Its only happened once and won't be happening again.
Its the first time I've ever been tempted and would love to blame the booze. But I can't. (We only split due to distance)
He's been told and blocked. I will talk to O. H this weekend again. Hopefully things will change.
And No I wouldn't stand for a man to do it to me.
I also have to accept that if things don't change. This probably isn't the relationship for me.
Thank you all again x
Good luck and I hope all goes well for you, whatever it is you may want from the talk.
ScumptiousDumptious wrote:
Thank you.
Its only happened once and won't be happening again.
Its the first time I've ever been tempted and would love to blame the booze. But I can't. (We only split due to distance)
He's been told and blocked. I will talk to O. H this weekend again. Hopefully things will change.
And No I wouldn't stand for a man to do it to me.
I also have to accept that if things don't change. This probably isn't the relationship for me.
Thank you all again x
Good luck and I hope all goes well for you, whatever it is you may want from the talk.
I hope the talk goes well xxScumptiousDumptious wrote:
Thank you.
Its only happened once and won't be happening again.
Its the first time I've ever been tempted and would love to blame the booze. But I can't. (We only split due to distance)
He's been told and blocked. I will talk to O. H this weekend again. Hopefully things will change.
And No I wouldn't stand for a man to do it to me.
I also have to accept that if things don't change. This probably isn't the relationship for me.
Thank you all again x
I agree with everyone that it's a form of cheating maybe talking to your O.H again will help with things
Sex shouldn't be the main focus in a relationship yes it's great but it shouldn't be the reason to end a relationship if that's the only thing wrong
Maybe bring some more fun into you sex life you never know if you don't try
In short yes.
Its something you have to lie about and you know what your other half will think if he finds out. I think you know the answer really.
How would you answer if you found out your partner was doing it?
+ 1 I personally think that going behind your partners back talking and getting turned on by someone else is as the temptation is there. My OH in the past was texting someone he classes as a 'friend' he met on the Internet before we met and I found out only through me snooping as wondered who the number he kept texting was and getting messages from . He lied and it hurt so much and I then confronted them both and let's just say it stopped after that due to an ultimatum. We are still together and happily married but i sttuggle with trust now as had been cheated on by an ex in past and fear it could happen again. Just think about what you're doing and how you would feel if the boot was on the other foot.RosyCheek wrote:
As you say my love, deep down you know the answer. Is it cheating? It depends on your relationship. A while back my husband was messaging a colleague. Was it cheating as he didn't physically do anything? To me it was. It's the lies, the secrets, the breaking of trust. Acting out fantasy with others instead of opening up and just saying "hey let's try this" or "I like this". He broke our trust, he stained our relationship by hiding it.
I personally think contact with exes is difficult. They are an ex for a reason and the new love often compares themselves to the past lovers. It's a super sting.
Just have a think, have a chat with your OH, say you would like a bit more action and try compromise.
Good luck.
In a way I'd say but not as nearly as bad as real cheating