Was visiting a well known sports club (rhymes with David Floyd) with the family for a swim and noticed an attractive woman in a bikini.
OH says ‘I see you looking ‘ and is in a mood
Bearing in mind that
Is it wrong to find other people attractive, especially when at a swimming pool/beach?
No! Why would it be?
Would you be in a mood if she looked at anyone else?
Hope you can talk through this with her and sort it out. It can be quite a hot thing picking out interesting people for your other half to admire
No, why would it be, you’re not dead.
We all if we are honest look at others from time to time, at a swimming pool other other sex is almost naked and they probably feel good in what they are wearing. It is that confidence which makes us look.
The difference is we don’t act on it.
Of course we don’t suddenly lose the ability to find other people attractive just because we’re married or in a relationship.
If I noticed my OH just look or glance at a woman at a swimming pool it wouldn’t bother me. On the other hand if he was ogling or prolonged staring at her then I’d be saying something to him because that’s downright disrespectful to both her and me.
By the way I’m not suggesting you were doing the latter.
Its not wrong … but was it a longer than normal look lol
Looking is fine …
As they say, you can do window shopping and view the goods as long as you don’t touch and never buy.
You say your sex life is non existent.
In that case , I’d urge you not to marry . You will regret it if you do . Trust me , I know from bitter experience, twice .
It will be painful, but it will be better than years without intimacy.
It will be better for both of you.
PS , in answer to your question, no , it isn’t wrong
I second what @Weeradge says, if she can’t overcome her insecurity, marrying her will not fix it. I flirt, my husband flirts, we both notice attractive people too. It’s touching without permission that changes the rules.
You know if you are a driver it’s a driver’s right to look lol
No nothing wrong with it but some people are a bit insecure in a relationship maybe something has happened in the past.
I would also agree with @Weeradge and @Tenshadesandme and state again as I did in my first message don’t marry until you have talked this through. And can you live in a sexless relationship?
Nothing wrong with a look. Don’t stare and be obnoxious about it. Reminds me of the Jerry Seinfeld episode on looking at cleavage.
Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away!
Nothing wrong with looking IMO. We all do it, it’s human nature. Anyone who says they don’t is lying. Once you start flirting or anything of that nature then it’s a different story.
It’s fine to look. It’s only if you become obsessed with the person or blatantly disrespectful that it’s an issue. A quick glance isn’t a crime.
Mrs Balls and myself are in a very loving relationship, we are both secure with ourselves and each other. We both look but don’t touch, we even draw each other’s attention to other males and females and discuss them. As always as singles and couples we are all different. Good luck with your life choices.
Does it matter?
It feels to me like you’ve asked the question because you want to justify your actions and win an argument. You could get 1000 responses all of which say you did nothing wrong, and she’ll still think you were in the wrong.
My advice would be to back down, apologise and move on. It sounds like there are problems in the relationship, and you need to work together to fix those.
Nothing wrong with a glance but ogling another woman in the presence of your partner is disrespecting your partner and the woman being stared at. My hubbys cousin was talking to another woman when we went bowling and his then partner marched up to him and slapped him round the face in front of everyone. It wasnt his fault as she was a friend of mine and they just got chatting, also depends if the OH is the jealous sort, which she was and he knew it.
Also many years ago i caught a previous boyfriend chatting up another woman when were were out at a club, his excuse was that he was helping his friend pick up a woman. I told him his friend was capable of picking up his own woman and that he had better carry on as he is now looking for himself again as i was off.
If you are not married, and as you say your sex life is non existent, well, should she be surprised you would look at another attractive woman? And even if you were married, another’s said, you are not blind. It is human nature to admire beauty, and it would be odd if you did not. Also, the time to address sexual issues is before you tie the knot. Ask me how I know. Been there, have the t-shirt. Not a road I would recommend. Good luck. And don’t be a cad, a casual look is ok, do not ogle in a creepy way, you’re better than that.
Samantha here. Id be more worried if he didnt look. I like a red blooded male.
We had a similar situation a few weeks ago in a swimming pool. Id been talking to another lady in the changing rooms. She had massive boobs and a great body. Naturally in the pool, ben noticed her and didnt just look, he pointed her out to me.
We do that alot.
If the zing has disappeared and jealousy is rearing it’s ugly head already, then any future marriage is already doomed. Dodge that bullet while you still can.
Being married doesn’t mean you’re dead, and it doesn’t mean you’re unfaithful. So get your appetite where you will, so long as you eat at home.