I bought some bits and pieces from the website a few days ago and told my husband straight away when they arrived. He said he was really excited but had to stop talking about it because it was making him hard (I text him while he was at work). We agreed it would be fun and we were both looking forward to it. However, this is the second night since it arrived and both nights he's watched TV or played games on his phone until he falls asleep. I don't know if he's not interested (in the games/toys or in me) but doesn't want to tell me or if he's just a bit nervous because we haven't used this sort of thing before. A little background: we have good sex but I usually have to initiate, I want it more often than him, I'm an attractive woman (at least that's what I get told), we have been together for 10y, married for 3y, & have 2 children. Both 30. Any advice much appreciated. Cheers
Hi, as you mention it's usually you who leads, perhaps he sitting waiting on grabbing his hand and showing him a fun time...
He possibly is a bit nervous....
Thanks for the advice. He used to be very forward but not so much recently. I will try to start things tonight and see how we get on
I agree with the above posters. He does sound to me like he's nervous and waiting to be given the green light.
If he is anxious about your new toys then it's fairly common. A lot of men seem to think they're being replaced rather than seeing the toys as helping you both. It's important that he's reassured otherwise and I think a good way of doing that is you giving up control of them to him and him pleasing you with them. Then it's him feeling that he's getting the result with the aid of your new friends rather than them doing it while he feels useless and sidelined.
Why not start with a suggestive text, but focussing on him, while he's playing his games. "The thought of you doing X to me with Y is really turning me on. Why don't you come to bed and..." or something.
Good luck with it. I hope whatever happens, it goes well. :)
Thank you everyone. I'll let you know how we get on :-)
We tried last night. The stay lube just made him lose his erection! Very frustrating for both of us. He's already said he wants to try again tonight so I think he's okay now 😜 thanks again for the advice
From a mans pov I would say maybe just go for it - take the lead and maybe have a couple of drinks to loosen up !
The stay lube may not be for him, or you may have used too much.
It can reduce how much feeling he gets and it probably dulled it too much for him and he lost his erection because he wasn't feeling the sensations as much as he was.
I really struggled to cum when I used it, but it was great for delaying but a bit too much :).
Hopefully he doesn't let him get him down and maybe stay away from the stay lube.
With reference to stay lube, maybe mix it in with regular lube cause it might be a bit too desensitising on its own. Also depends how much you need. Maybe have him practice whie masturbating first to let him get a feel of how it works for him