Hi guys
To some of you it may seem a stange title but with me just over 50 , I do come from a very much different generation than most of you younger ones who prefer a fast lane approach to modern lifestyles .
A few of the problems that people wanted advice on , on this forum and others appears to have been attributed to a lack or ignorance of romance.
My definition of romance basically is thinking more of my partner than myself . By this I mean things like for no apperent reason I decided to pick up a bunch of flowers for her.If i see some really sexy underwear ( I know her size) I will buy these for her. Most of her lingerie I have bought for her. When I come home from work I will always give her a cuddle and if her back is turned to me, whilst she is preparing food I will hold her and kiss her neck and perhaps pat her bottom as well .In a nut shell ,I show her that I very much apperciate her as my partner and spoil her to bits. I know it sounds soppy and some of you will be getting out the sick bucket no doubt but we do say to each other at least once an evening how much we love each other.We will also have a cuddle together every evening even if too tired for sex.
When we feel that we want sex ,its never a case of lets get our kit off as fast as we can. It tends to be a slow cuddling, kissing and undressing process perhaps over drinks and a meal . This process might take the best part of the evening . We just don't seem to be wired for the spontaneous sex approach which is very much evident in the modern liferstyles of today .
Sometimes I just wonder if the fault is with me/us for being perhaps too old fashioned , hence I would l very much like to learn your views.
Thanks guys
Well I'm not sure what these 'fast lane modern lifestyles' are that you speak of, I'm 21 and I don't just rip my kit off to have sex. We're very romantic together, always kissing and cuddling, we send each other sweet messages throughout the day and say we love each other countless times. It's not a case of traditional vs. modern lifestyles, it depends on the couple individually and not their age. That's my opinion anyway :)
And I wouldn't worry about if there's a problem with you, if you're both happy and satisfied with your relationship & sex life then what everyone else is doing is irrelevant ;)
mysteron wrote:
Boogaloo wrote:
Well I'm not sure what these 'fast lane modern lifestyles' are that you speak of, I'm 21 and I don't just rip my kit off to have sex. We're very romantic together, always kissing and cuddling, we send each other sweet messages throughout the day and say we love each other countless times. It's not a case of traditional vs. modern lifestyles, it depends on the couple individually and not their age. That's my opinion anyway :)
And I wouldn't worry about if there's a problem with you, if you're both happy and satisfied with your relationship & sex life then what everyone else is doing is irrelevant ;)
So Romance isn't dead :)
I don't think so, certainly not the romance you describe of putting your partner first and doing lovely little things to make them feel happy and appreciated.
I think context is good here, we're on a sex toy forum afterall! So likely to get a warped view on modern day 'fast track' sex lives. Like I only know two people who have had casual sex in real life, everyone else is single and not looking or partnered up in the traditional manner of which you speak!
I to some point understand what you mean with the "fast lane modern lifestyles" thing, my ex wasn't romantic at all and just wanted sex whenever he wanted it etc, but that's in the past now.
However, I've been with my current gentleman for 2 and a half years now - and he's the lovliest man I've ever happened to meet. He's only 3 years older than me, but he has proper manners from a time past. He opens the door for me, always offers to drive when we go out so I an enjoy myself, he tells me he loves me - and means it - a million times a day, he's always honest and makes me feel special :) I know he'll never buy me lingerie as it confuses the hell out of him, but he does treat me with other little surprises :) I've gone through some awful times since we've been together, and he knows exactly what I need, when I need it :)
FlexyBexyXXX wrote:
I to some point understand what you mean with the "fast lane modern lifestyles" thing, my ex wasn't romantic at all and just wanted sex whenever he wanted it etc, but that's in the past now.
However, I've been with my current gentleman for 2 and a half years now - and he's the lovliest man I've ever happened to meet. He's only 3 years older than me, but he has proper manners from a time past. He opens the door for me, always offers to drive when we go out so I an enjoy myself, he tells me he loves me - and means it - a million times a day, he's always honest and makes me feel special :) I know he'll never buy me lingerie as it confuses the hell out of him, but he does treat me with other little surprises :) I've gone through some awful times since we've been together, and he knows exactly what I need, when I need it :)
Sounds like you have got youreslf a very nice decent chap who understands your needs .
Nice one!
mysteron wrote:
FlexyBexyXXX wrote:
I to some point understand what you mean with the "fast lane modern lifestyles" thing, my ex wasn't romantic at all and just wanted sex whenever he wanted it etc, but that's in the past now.
However, I've been with my current gentleman for 2 and a half years now - and he's the lovliest man I've ever happened to meet. He's only 3 years older than me, but he has proper manners from a time past. He opens the door for me, always offers to drive when we go out so I an enjoy myself, he tells me he loves me - and means it - a million times a day, he's always honest and makes me feel special :) I know he'll never buy me lingerie as it confuses the hell out of him, but he does treat me with other little surprises :) I've gone through some awful times since we've been together, and he knows exactly what I need, when I need it :)
Sounds like you have got youreslf a very nice decent chap who understands your needs .
Nice one!
I'm such a lucky lady! :) I honestly thought chivalry was dead in my generation but I was pleased to be wrong :)
I dont think its a ages thing or anything .. me n bf r both young we've had quick spontaneous sex or long sexual sex depending on mood etc... we cuddle all the time, say I love u,we laugh n play like best friends, even though he find romantance hard he trys ... he finds talkinv about this kinda stuff hard but he trys n I try n get what he's trying to say :)
We only see each other weekly but its great, we dont do fancy dates but it doesnt matter his time is more important id rather lay in bed with a film n cuddle :)
Highly doubt that romance is dead. It alls depends on what couple you focus on.
The romance is very much alive for my OH and I and we're both young. We've been together for 6 years, since we were teenagers and we're still in what naive people laughably call the honeymoon period. We're always thinking about each other and buying random presents for each other. Last thing I do before I go to work is kiss her goodbye, first thing I do when I'm back is kiss her hello. I'd always rather spend time with her than go out on the piss and we have so many in jokes and little rituals it's hard to keep track of them all.
So yeah. Romance most certainly not dead. It all depends who you focus on.
Romance isn't dead!
I am a young female - 20 - and although I love sex and sometimes it's hot and steamy, romance is something we love.
A cuddle is the perfect way to end my day at work, all snuggled up on the sofa. I'd do anything for my OH. Most people would say I am 'cheesy'. But its just romance right? I make my OH gifts and buy her little things I know she will love.
A few people sleep around/have slept around that I know but when they are in relationships it's so different.