It's been a year now since I've started using sex toys and this may seem strange, I'm not sure, but I've found that since I've started using them, I've become more body confident and secure in my sexuality and like I'm discovering parts of myself and how to make myself happier and that I shouldn't feel guilty about having a lot of solo play even when I'm in a relationship. I don't know if anyone else feels this way when using them but I feel kind of liberated in a way and my body is and mind is happier for it :)
As much as I love sex, I really enjoy having some me time. Nobody explores your body as well as yourself, and it's amazing when you learn something new. I think it's healthy for mind, body and soul!
I think women on the whole are now far more confident,and up front when it comes to sex and many will often take the lead in the bedroom .Experience with toys is helping as you ladies will know exactly what your needs are for when the time comes in the bedroom.
Kittycat102 wrote:
It's been a year now since I've started using sex toys and this may seem strange, I'm not sure, but I've found that since I've started using them, I've become more body confident and secure in my sexuality and like I'm discovering parts of myself and how to make myself happier and that I shouldn't feel guilty about having a lot of solo play even when I'm in a relationship. I don't know if anyone else feels this way when using them but I feel kind of liberated in a way and my body is and mind is happier for it :)
Hi Kitty,
totally agree with what you are saying. The confidence and security is just indescribable. It definitely has removed the guilt feeling for my and my OH.
The liberation is the essence of it.
Great post.
VioletWolf wrote:
As much as I love sex, I really enjoy having some me time. Nobody explores your body as well as yourself, and it's amazing when you learn something new. I think it's healthy for mind, body and soul!
Couldn't agree more ! I really look forward to some time on my own so that I can get out a toy , lose myself in a fantasy and just please myself without having to be concerned about anyone elses pleasure.
My hubby knows all about it so I don't feel guilty. And yes, it is kind of liberating !
I much prefer having sex to masturbation.
I'm with era on this ,physical interaction with my little lady is far better than anything manual ,I fact for a male I can't remember the last time I masterbated to completion .
To be honest all its ever done for me is get me frustrated . But I love it when the better half does it to me or I do it to her
Well everyone's different :)
Glad you feel this way! Nobody knows my body like myself, and I love exploring it with different toys. I've never felt guilty about solo play as it's my body and I'll do with it what I want, and it's great to actually know what you like and dislike when it comes to sex!
sugarboobies2232 wrote:
Glad you feel this way! Nobody knows my body like myself, and I love exploring it with different toys. I've never felt guilty about solo play as it's my body and I'll do with it what I want, and it's great to actually know what you like and dislike when it comes to sex!
I never felt guilty either but since I got in a relationship, I did a little lol
Kittycat102 wrote:
sugarboobies2232 wrote:
Glad you feel this way! Nobody knows my body like myself, and I love exploring it with different toys. I've never felt guilty about solo play as it's my body and I'll do with it what I want, and it's great to actually know what you like and dislike when it comes to sex!
I never felt guilty either but since I got in a relationship, I did a little lol
I can see why, it's all what works for different people and their relationships, but I wouldn't want to be playing by myself more than having sex, I think that is when there is a problem.
I'm sure your guy doesn't mind though, right?!
Yes Wildflower! That's a big part of it, only having to worry about yourself. I enjoy the sexual interactions we have together, but 95% of the time the focus of those sessions is his satisfaction. Granted that's my choice, but it's so good focusing on myself, by myself.
And Sugar, you've got it there, being free to learn about yourself is definitely a solo thing, and a great thing. I'd much rather take what I learn alone, and apply it to sex without floundering around!
Kittycat102 wrote:
It's been a year now since I've started using sex toys and this may seem strange, I'm not sure, but I've found that since I've started using them, I've become more body confident and secure in my sexuality and like I'm discovering parts of myself and how to make myself happier and that I shouldn't feel guilty about having a lot of solo play even when I'm in a relationship. I don't know if anyone else feels this way when using them but I feel kind of liberated in a way and my body is and mind is happier for it :)
+1000 I feel exactly the same :D sex toys can never ever come close to my partner and he makes me feel like a goddess when I am with him, but when he is not there, I feel more comfortable in myself than I used to and I honestly think the sex toys helped :) the whole scheme of Lovehoney has helped to tbh. Getting involved with the forum and reviews etc really helps give me more satisfaction, more conversation with like-minded people and I've gained a little hobby.
I've definitely found my sexual confidence has increased since I started using toys but I think I bought my first toy because I was already on an upward trajectory of sexual confidence. I would never have dreamed of buying toys a few years ago!
I don't feel guilty about using toys at all. My boyfriend-ish (long term fuck buddy with feelings) knows I use them and we also use them together. He was actually the person who encouraged me to buy one (little did he know I'd soon have a collection!)
I used to think I was weird for being so highly sexual and having kinks that many people find strange so I tried to suppress hide it. I was actually celibate for a year because I lacked enough confidence to handle sober sex (I was sober at the time) and found vanilla sex unappealing. Now I have embraced my sexuality, I am so much happier. I'm much more active on the kink scene, I am more comfortable pleasuring myself, much more confident during sex and, most surprisingly, I am a hell of a lot better at pleasuring my partners. Lack of confidence really didn't do anything for my skills!
I don't think buying sex toys caused these changes but I do think taking charge of my sexuality by buying my first toy was a huge step and interacting with people on the forum has helped too.
Couldn't edit so adding:
I'm pleased to read you and others have found this too and it's interesting you mention body confidence. I hadn't really given it too much thought but mine is definitely better too. Body confidence is something I wil probably always struggle with but I do think sexual confidence has helped, as has seeing a wide range of body shapes and sizes on here and on Twitter.