For those in the group who have had themselves, or had a partner with an IUD, did it affect your sex drive?
Mrs. Val recently went to the doctor to attempt to eliminate her periods which are unpredictable and sometimes painful. The doctor recommended a gamut of tests including colonoscopy, mammogram, and pap which she doesn’t want to do but agrees that in her mid-40’s that it is probably a good idea whether she wants to do it or not.
However, I am concerned that this IUD will completely destroy her sex drive which is minimal at best. On the other hand, I think if she gets the tests done and knows she is healthy (which I truly believe she is) it may take away some “sex anxiety” about her body and health. On the other hand, is this something that may be good for us sexually?
I have had a vasectomy about 11 years ago with no false pregnancies’ and no scares, so I feel this threat is minimal to her which makes sex fantastic and natural with no mental risks about a baby at 43 which would be not in the plans. Taking away that mental block has been helpful as we have 2 kids already and they are enough.
Do you think that an IUD will assist in taking away additional issues that may assist her in feeling more attractive and confident? I know it isn’t a magic bullet, but is this a tool that will help us or harm us to be more intimate more often? She hasn’t asked my opinion but I do think she is doing this for me as well so I want to arm myself with some questions before she gets it inserted (likely in the next few weeks). It may be none of my personal business but I would like to know what she/we are getting into… I appreciate you thoughts and comments!
When I had my first coil fitted in 2015 I bled for just over 12 months daily…nothing much but it was there when I wiped myself which was very annoying to say the least. I was in my 40’s when I had it fitted.
But I had it fitted for heavy periods to try to avoid major surgery. When I say heavy think of blood transfusions and hospital admissions for them…filling your shoes with blood and having to wear maxi dresses…changing tampons and heavy duty towels hourly day and night and flooding for weeks at a time… not daring to sit in anyones car…you get the picture? The tablets to stop them didn’t work and due to my age was refused the combined OCP…not to mention the cost of towels and tampons…each period cost a fortune.
Anyhow…
After having it fitted… I wasn’t in a sexual relationship at that time… just an occasional “blue moon” one where a smear of blood wasn’t really an issue…
After then I would say my sex drive rocketed… as my periods stopped completely and no fear of pregnancy…met a new partner a few years later and it was amazing to not have periods at all and could enjoy sex whenever… he could feel the wires occasionally on deeper penetration positions but didn’t cause any problems to him.
When I had it changed in 2020 it was a simple but slightly painful procedure…and she cut the wires shorter when I told her my partner could sometimes feel them.
My sex drive is still high… much higher than my partners which is frustrating for me…but I’m always up for it…and I’m now in my 50’s I have had a high sex drive from being young and starting in my sexual adventure though and always liked experimenting.
I don’t think it’s a magic wand for a sex drive but it really helped me sort out my irregular and painful heavy periods helping to avoid a hysterectomy. When younger I was on the combined OCP as my periods have always been heavy and irregular and that worked but after 40 was refused it and the mini pill didn’t work for me or the tablets to stop them either so the coil was the next option before hysterectomy.
I had the Mirena coil both times and if you do your research there’s good and bad reviews for everything…I read them and wasn’t put off as I knew it was that or major surgery. The thought of having a foreign object inside my body freaked me out being honest…more than having it fitted. The hormones are released where they are needed and there’s less in it than taking a daily OCP.
I don’t need another one after this one as will have gone through the menopause.
Make sure you write down any queries you have and discuss things together before your wife has it fitted.
Wow! That sounds really tough @CurvyJilly - so glad that worked for you.
This is an interesting subject and I wish you luck @valbowski77.
My wife previously had an IUD when she was younger and she did not have a great experience - it was painful for her and she also got pregnant with it (she is crazy fertile!)
I hate to throw a spanner - because the story of @CurvyJilly is a success, so could be brilliant - but my wife says it was awful. I guess everyone is different and you just have to listen to your own body.
And perhaps my wife is just one of an unfortunate minority - she is super sensitive in every way - so that could be the case.
She is also perimenopausal at the moment, so we are just learning about this next stage of life.
Maybe your wife is there also?
I think the biggest thing that has helped us in terms of confidence and intimacy is just communication, and listening to resources like podcasts and different website and shows.
Everyone’s journey ends up being different.
All the best to you and your wife - hope it all goes well for you
When I had a Mirena fitted, my sex drive rocketed too, and more importantly, my sex drive evened out (so I always wanted it rather than wanting it only on certain weeks). It also totally stopped my periods and sorted my mood swings out. So brilliant all round. On my third Mirena now and still all good.
I’m on my 1st coil and had it fitted back in October. For me personally, it was the best thing I had done. I was on every contraception you could possibly think of, none of them worked for me. I fell pregnant twice, very low moods, depression and anxiety, and every other symptoms you could think of.
My periods have never been regular, and when I did have them, they were horrendous. So when I had the coil fitted, I had no bleeding with it whatsoever. My weight is gradually coming off me no more low moods. My sex drive, wow!! It’s just levelled out to constantly horny instead of up and down depending on how I’m feeling.
So for me it has worked out, and so much for the better.
I had the mirena to help stop bleeding and it made it worse. I bled non stop for the 6 months that I was forced to keep it in for and the pain was immense.
I know for some people they have no issues with it and find it great but if she doesn’t need it for a medical reason then I would suggest just using condoms.
I have a Mirena and I love it. I had it fitted for heavy irregular periods and they’ve stopped completely.
I have PCOS which was diagnosed a couple of years prior to getting the coil.
I never used to know when or for how long I’d be on for, but the tablets meant to stop it did absolutely nothing. I’d bleed through layers, it was awful.
My libido is definitely higher since I’ve had it fitted too.
Thanks everyone. Your stories are mixed which makes me feel it is the truth - and since you don’t usually get the truth from the company selling it to you, I appreciate it.
As I mentioned, I am sterile so worries of getting pregnant are zero as we have been having PIV and cumming inside my wife for over 10 years with no scares. I guess that actually worked as many have horror stories of that as well.
The choice is my wife’s. I spoke to her last night and asked 1000 questions. She was a little taken back that I had so many. I was more worried about her health and the side effects and whether she had done her due diligence on the decision. My sister is onto her second one and swears by it.
On the selfish side I was hoping her sex drive may improve. I do understand that there are many factors that contribute to a woman wanting or not wanting sex so perhaps there is no direct correlation. I guess I want what she wants and that is to control her periods as she is pre-menopausal, to be able to have a “normal” schedule and perhaps come out of it on the other side of menopause with few side effects. She is healthy, fairly underweight and athletic. Our kids are older, she works from home and has relatively little stress (other than being married to me…).
An added bonus would be a desire to initiate sex and want it as opposed to feeling unwell, unhappy, depressed or physically incapable of intimacy whether penetrative or not.
I appreciate your experiences and wish you all nothing but the best. We just want to make sure we are choosing well and I am happy to update you on this thread as to how it goes as she is booking her insertion appointment today!
no more low moods. My sex drive, wow!! It’s just levelled out to constantly horny instead of up and down depending on how I’m feeling.