Hi everyone
I hope somebody will be able to give me some advice please. My partner and I have been together a year. The sex from my point is always very enjoyable and I use butt plugs etc on my own. However my partner has never had an orgasm when I penetrate her. I feel like I am letting her down as I cum easily and then she didn't. Are there any positions or tips we can try please? It happens every time, getting scared to penetrate her now.
Many women are unble to come with penetration alone. Does she come with manual or oral sex? If so, I don't think there is a problem. Have you tried masturbating here while you penetrate her? She does not have to come to enjoy penetration; if you stimultate her with other methods, and she has orgasms before or after the penetration, or both, this should be fine. No reason to be scared to penetrate her.
If she does not come at all, with any method, then you do have a problem.
It is completely normal that she does not orgasm via penetration alone. I would say majority of women cannot orgasm that way alone, or not every time if they can. It does not mean we dont enjoy it, even without the orgasm, so no need to be scared.
The solution is actually simple. Dont stress about it and find other ways of satisfying your partner. Either by oral sex or using fingers or a toy. Toy or fingers can also be used during penetration on her clit, making it more likely she will orgasm.
If she does not come at all, with any method, then you do have a problem.
No. This is definitely not necessarily the truth. Some women take longer to learn to orgasm and it may not be he partners fault. I personally in the beginning could not reach orgasm easily, took me an hour or hour and half on strongest vibrations settings, with my partner I could never be pushed over the edge. Yes, it did change, but the change came slowly, after I learnt how to orgasm.
I would never say my partner had problem. He did not. And I still enjoyed the sex.
I have friend who is actually the same. Neither blames our partners.
I think the "figures" (no idea where they do their testing) suggest that only 30-35% of women can reach orgasm through penetration alone.
See mother natures slight design flaw is that most women need clit stimulation to orgasm, and the design of the female anatomy means that during penetration, although it feels good, it is often not giving us enough clit stimulation to enable us to cum. Certain positions can help ensure you are also rubbing against her clit but, quite often it is still not easy if not almost impossible for most women.
If she orgasms at other times, then you can probably get her to reach orgasm during sex. Either you stroking her clit, her playing with herself, vibrators like bullets being used while you have sex. It still might not be easy. For a start women take longer on average to orgasm, so if you think you will probably be finished before she has even got warmed up, maybe warm her up before hand and then move on to the sex.
I am 30, been in 3 long term relationships over the last 15 years. I have only ever orgasmed through penetration once in that whole time, and that was only because I was super horny and we tried a position that made him rub against me. It took a while, it wasnt easy and I would much rather that I orgasmed through oral sex, or my guy stroking me or using toys on me etc. Always been that way with all my exes too and it wasnt considered strange for us to have sex and then him to give me oral to orgasm or the other way round.
I guess if you look at the figures, your issue is actually completely normal. I think most young guys get a lot of sex education from porn these days. It is so readily available and its not something you would really talk about with anyone apart from friends who also only get info from porn but..... when the male porn star enters the female and she starts screaming the place down and orgasming all over his cock within 3 seconds....its fake. seriously, women take time (Average time for a woman to orgasm is about 20 mins, me I take about 30 mins from start to finish) a lot of us have to learn how to orgasm, and then how to orgasm with our partners, we can be really fussy and want certain techniques and speeds in certain areas and if you dont hit the spot exactly we struggle....etc etc etc.
The best thing you can do if you want her to orgasm is to make sure shes relaxed. ask your lady how she likes it, where she likes it, then to practice practice practice, it will take time x If she senses pressure or demands it will have the opposite effect trust me. And if you do practice and it doesnt work that time, ask her what can you do differently or what felt good and what felt not so good, pretty soon you will be an expert :D (for her) hehe good luck, no one said us ladies were easy! :P
Dont be scared to have sex with with her. Just because we dont orgasm through sex, doesnt mean we dont love it. We love to feel that connection and closeness with our partners and it does still feel good!
Georgina71 wrote:
Many women are unble to come with penetration alone. Does she come with manual or oral sex? If so, I don't think there is a problem. Have you tried masturbating here while you penetrate her? She does not have to come to enjoy penetration; if you stimultate her with other methods, and she has orgasms before or after the penetration, or both, this should be fine. No reason to be scared to penetrate her.
If she does not come at all, with any method, then you do have a problem.
Not necessarily, for a long time I had issues with orgasms. I either couldn't or didn't want to. It doesn't mean there is a 'problem'.
Ask her how she feels, if she doesn't mind the I see no problem. Many women are unable to orgasm through penetration alone anyway.
My OH has only done it once through penetration but has told me she can do it herself but it doesn't affect sex we both enjoy it, and that is the thing if you keep trying for orgasm through penetration as the only goal you will miss all the fun in between, if its fun enjoy it and if it happens its a bonus
Sorry, I did not express myself properly. I did not mean to imply that if she does not come at all it is his fault, or that this should be treated as a problem (even though that' s what I said, I know). What I meant to say is that if she does not, it may be worth trying to do something about it; otherwise, I just would not worry about it.
Of course, ask her how she feels, if she thinks there is a problem. Here, as always, the key is communication.
You should be very careful approach to your health in general. People pay not enough attention to the symptoms of the disease and don't realize that these diseases can be critically dangerous.
carlycrazee wrote:
You should be very careful approach to your health in general. People pay not enough attention to the symptoms of the disease and don't realize that these diseases can be critically dangerous.
I admit I am completely confused as to what this post is related to or refering to in this context
Laveila wrote:
carlycrazee wrote:
You should be very careful approach to your health in general. People pay not enough attention to the symptoms of the disease and don't realize that these diseases can be critically dangerous.
I admit I am completely confused as to what this post is related to or refering to in this context
I don't either. Perhaps it was in reply to the wrong thread?