Hi I just wondered if there are women that dominate their husbands in the bedroom and what sort of things you do. I am just starting to ease my husband in to it, it's a slow process as I have said before he is very shy and reserved. I've used a butt plug on him and spanked him but I don't think it does anything for him he doesn't get hard so I hardly do it. I like putting my fingers inside of him but I think that is also for my benefit than his although I have asked him and he says he does like it but I always presumed that they would get hard if they liked stuff.
Apart from roleplays , I have no chance with my OH. She prefers lying on her back and thinking of England for most of the time. Sometimes she will initiate things by loosening my trousers and slipping her hand through the fly but then its generally upto me to lead nd to tie her up if she is in the mood or impact play occasionally.
Sometimes it depends on ones sex drive as well . Mine is generally greater than hers at this time of the year.
My best tip is to communicate fully with your partner as to expectations ,ideas etc. and even fantasies
If we're doing a Dom/sub role play, then 90% of the time he will be the Dom, unless he asks me to switch roles for the night. I don't mind dominating him, but this only really consists of me tying him up and teasing him, I don't spank him or do any of the 'harder' stuff he does to me.
In our general sex life, yeah I do tend to dominate! What I mean by this is that I'll often initiate sex, and tend to climb on top of him and have my way with him. I also seem to have a weird thing about him sleeping, so if he's lying on his back having a nap I get horny and start going down on him, and he wakes up to a nice surprise!
Perhaps that's why I prefer being a submissive in our role plays, because I usually take the lead when we have normal sex.
Boogaloo wrote:
In our general sex life, yeah I do tend to dominate! What I mean by this is that I'll often initiate sex, and tend to climb on top of him and have my way with him. I also seem to have a weird thing about him sleeping, so if he's lying on his back having a nap I get horny and start going down on him, and he wakes up to a nice surprise!
Grrrrrrrrrrr, why does my OH wake up at the slightest movement! I so want to do this to him! But he would be awake before I've even opened my mouth!
Never know wrote:
Boogaloo wrote:
In our general sex life, yeah I do tend to dominate! What I mean by this is that I'll often initiate sex, and tend to climb on top of him and have my way with him. I also seem to have a weird thing about him sleeping, so if he's lying on his back having a nap I get horny and start going down on him, and he wakes up to a nice surprise!
Grrrrrrrrrrr, why does my OH wake up at the slightest movement! I so want to do this to him! But he would be awake before I've even opened my mouth!
Mine is a pretty heavy sleeper! Which is lucky because I snore ;)
I can usually pull his pants down and go down on him for a minute or so before he starts to wake up, he seems to be in a daze and not quite know what's going on for a while, and I love that! ;)
I could pretend to sleep too if that is what happened!
AsYouWish! wrote:
I could pretend to sleep too if that is what happened!
I'm sure he could too ;)
maybe I'll try, worried he will wake up in shock, think I'm an intruder or something and whack me away lol
Generally in the bedroom my husband is the dominant one because We like it best that way. Sometimes though he'll want to switch it up but nothing major for him as he doesnt like being spanked, so generally if im dominating it'll be a case of cuffing him, blindfold, maybe a gag and generally use of a tickler or other teasing methods and finishing with me on top in cowgirl or reverse cowgirl. :)
Never know wrote:
AsYouWish! wrote:
I could pretend to sleep too if that is what happened!
I'm sure he could too ;)
maybe I'll try, worried he will wake up in shock, think I'm an intruder or something and whack me away lol
That has alrerady happened to me when I started stroking and massaging the Mrs one morning whilst she was still a sleep . I had this idea ( seemed good at the time) as a stand in for her alarm clock. I got a swipe accross the face for my troubles. Of course she kissed it better after !
Sometimes the greatest thing about BDSM is how it can fuck with you in different ways and give you other forms of highs, not just sexual arousal =).
I think in society we associate erections with being turned on too much, when sometimes it';s just nice that someone did / said X and gets our brain ticking.
As you've only just started, just give it some time, as both your feelings and experiences will evolve leading to new sensations.
Conversation is key, and if he shows he trsts you and lets you know he likes it, that's great. As you get more into it maybe chat to him about why he likes it, sharing why you like doing it?
I'm a Domme, professional, and actually it's very rare for my subs to get an erection from many of the things I do to them, but they go away feeling fullfilled and happy in other ways depending on what scene we did and what type of play it involved. SOmetimes the things just need to develop into their personal mental wank-bank too, which will lead to other forms of sexual arousal when alone, and reenforce their enjoyment of said activity in the future.
Oops mystertom
Lady Ness wrote:
Sometimes the greatest thing about BDSM is how it can fuck with you in different ways and give you other forms of highs, not just sexual arousal =).
I think in society we associate erections with being turned on too much, when sometimes it';s just nice that someone did / said X and gets our brain ticking.
As you've only just started, just give it some time, as both your feelings and experiences will evolve leading to new sensations.
Conversation is key, and if he shows he trsts you and lets you know he likes it, that's great. As you get more into it maybe chat to him about why he likes it, sharing why you like doing it?
I'm a Domme, professional, and actually it's very rare for my subs to get an erection from many of the things I do to them, but they go away feeling fullfilled and happy in other ways depending on what scene we did and what type of play it involved. SOmetimes the things just need to develop into their personal mental wank-bank too, which will lead to other forms of sexual arousal when alone, and reenforce their enjoyment of said activity in the future.
Thanks that's interesting to know about the lack of erection. My husband has a very low sex drive, he doesn't communicate well either which doesn't help. I tell him what I would like him to do with me but I'm still waiting to be tied up, I asked him to spank me but he was more of a pat even though I asked for it to be harder. To be honest I prefer to do things to him as I end up getting abit of annoyed that he is so shy which I know is not good. We have been married for a long time and you would think he would be able to talk to me about stuff, he has had a couple of sexual partners in the past but he was young and he is the only one I have ever been with. I would love him to talk dirty but he doesn't do that I do though I love it sometimes I think I can't believe I just said that lol.
My OH is a fair few years older than me and has had much more experience, so you would think he leads the way, but this is not the case. He is a bit more "been there done that" so I end up being in control most of the time. I quite like this I'm a bit of a control freak and like things on my terms, but occasionally I would like him to wake me up in a fun way. I have told him this but he is very reluctant.
My favourite position is with me on top, I get to dictate the speed, depth, and get to tease him just for fun. I do have to say that I really do like it when my teasing gets him that worked up he can't help but bend me over the nearest piece of furniture and have his wicked way with me.
Our relationship is very balance though and the rest of the time he is in control, making almost all the decisions, it's a real role reversal when we are in the bedroom.
I love to be dominated by my OH. It's such a turn on to give up control and submit to her every whim. Luckily, we're able to talk about absolutely anything and that has really helped to develop our sex life. Previous to me, she had never been dominant in any way, shape or form and I had played around with previous partners, but never found one that was really into it. My wonderful OH has really embraced this aspect of our life and we often sit on the sofa of an evening discussing ideas and fantasies in the way I used to discuss home decor with previous partners.
Anyway, to pick up a few points from the original post, I don't always gain an erection from what is being done to me, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't turn me on or I don't enjoy it, so I wouldn't let the fact that your husband is not always hard put you off at all.
Hi. You could say that at times over the years my wife has dominated me and particularly at present as we have moved from just anal sex with my wife to her doing me so not only does she fist me and use various toys up me but we have really got into pegging me so much so that I have just bought a much larger peg dildo of 8 inches and 6.5 circumference. We both like it when she pees on me often with her stood over me whilst I wank for her.
Talking is key, as everyone seems to have said. Me and my other half are only young me 27 Sub her 23 and Dom, we played a little bit with it at the start but 5 years later and this year we really started talking and exploring, now 4 days ago I found my self being locked up in a male chasitity belt and I've never been happier. I find my self wanting to please her, wanting to make her happy, and she seems to enjoy it a lot more as well lol
Usually I'm the dominant one in the bedroom, but sometimes we switch.
It's quite nice being dominated. My wife usually handcuffs me to the bed, sometimes she uses a blindfold but sometimes she likes me to see what she's going to do. She often binds my cock and balls in long black ribbons often quite rightly, sometimes so tight it's difficult to squirt when I can.
Sometimes she plays with my butt with a finger or two or uses a butt plug or anal beads on me.
Basically she does what ever she fancies and enjoys prolonging my climax. Although she knows that I'll have a very strong orgasm once she causes/allows me.
We always have traffic light safe words, Green = okay, Amber = okay, but don't go any further just yet & Red = STOP.
Although neither of us have ever used RED.