For me the greatest sexual experience is one where the woman is left feeling satisfied - exhausted, perhaps, but satisfied. That's all part of the 'joy of sex' for me. I feel I have failed if she has not been fully pleasured.
As for Avrielle's suggestion of spreading her labia so that you can see where you are 'going' , that's fine provided the girl is happy with it. It was years before my lovely, late wife would willingly let me see my penis entering her and even then she was not entirely happy about it. All women are different.
For me, 2.75 inches in circumference is ideal, toy wise; I know I can't manage 3.5 inches, and any bigger is just a no no. But that's because of my anatomy and some awkward/annoying physicalities down there. It does mean that my partner and I have never managed to have intercourse because, sadly, there's a point where it's just agony - it also hurts and is uncomfortable for him - and we can't go further.
Length wise, I don't know what I prefer. I haven't really had enough experience of different lengths (simply due to the fact that it's not often I find toys that are slim enough for me to be able to use) to be able to say.
I would say choose a girth a little less than yourself as dildo have less "give" in them is my experience. I have had freebie dildos from lh in past which are around my size but for the mrs the more solid dildo felt much less forgiving. You can squeeze a cock but generally regardless of the quality lifelike material a dildo is more solid
This very much varies with my OH. There has been times initially when she says I am way too big for her, yet at tother times - usually during a very hot session, we have used some very large toys inside her which she loves.
I have trouble with guys as well - there's a point beyond which it just hurts for me (and my partner also finds it uncomfortable) and, physically, we can't proceed. It wasn't so long ago - maybe a year - that (and I don't know if this might be tmi) I found even one finger uncomfortable.
It does mean if I want any toys to use internally, I have to check the measurements very carefully, which can mean that I all too often miss out on things I'd want to try because I physically wouldn't be able to use it.
Oh, I know. We still have great fun and a great sex life regardless - maybe we appreciate everything else we can do together even more. I would give our sex life two thumbs up as it is, and even more if I had more thumbs, haha! :D
All I'll say on the subject is that I have experienced both very small (about 2 inches in length) and very big (about 10 inches in length). Diameters I cannot say for sure, as I don't carry a tape measure! The small was way too small (but very easy to give a bj) and the very big hurt! Somewhere between the two is fine, and still gives room for variety ;-)
I've got a http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=8578 that works it's way in with some patience and have somehow managed to fuck a guy who wasn't far off the same measurements but my upper limit is definitely around there. When it comes to real dick size matters very little after position, personal chemistry and mood.
My partner is 6.5 inches thick..it's been 3 and a half years and it still hurts and we can't have sex 3 times in a row,because i'm in unbearable pain after the second one and can't take anything in there..fills me up pretty nice though,lol.
Cc... I don't mean to pry... But you sound like you have a true medical condition if that is as far as you can go. The woman's vagina is designed to flex and open up, for the deposit in the bank and the cash withdrawal!😉 I hope for sake, and for any sex life and to have kids, you get to see your gp, of suspicions of what you could potentially have.. No woman should put up with vvv Painful or even non existent penetrative sex. If a doc can't say why.... Ask for a second opinion.
As others said dildos and a man are completely different, I think its great your so willing to take yourtime to make her ccomfortable its so important, us girls are good at getting worried and tense I no im guilty, ive experienced first hand having sex while tense and nervous(new partner nerves) and I ended up with a tear which scaried us and meant no sex hoping to get back to it thou ;) just take your time and perhaps some lube will help and if shes comfortable enough her go on top so she can control depth x
You have an opportunity here to make it easy for your girlfriend to lose her virginity. Most of us females go for it all in one (in my case while a bit drunk) and tear the hymen resulting in the stereotypical blood spotting and pain. It doesn't have to be that way! The hymen should stretch back with gentle manipulation over time. This means plenty of sessions using your tongue to relax her and gradually easing her up to full penetrative sex using your fingers or toys. The key is full arousal, relaxation and taking a leisurely pace. Cc, some women suffer from a condition called vaginismus, it can be psychological or physiological and causes the vagina to be too tight and difficult to relax. I had problems with this in a psychological form after a sexual assault, it took a long time to overcome. If it's a physiological problem you can get kits containing various sizes of cone to gradually stretch out the vagina and get it to relax, I would suggest speaking to your doctor too as muscle relaxants may help or if the nerves are a problem they may be able to repair them and allow you to progress toward full penetrative sex.