Larger ladies larger pubic mounds getting the way!

Sex Tips & Talk
1

So I've recently started dipping my toes in the world of FF sex, after a few years of FM. I've gone from (at least thinking) I knew what I was doing to suddenly running for google.

But one problem I've had is my pubic mound. All my sensitive goodies are well protected as I like to phrase it, being a size 16-18 lady with wobbly bits! So I've found whereas my OH rather likes the grinding, I can't seem to get much out of it, it's just not hitting the right spots! :(

Any help? :(

We're very good with communication on the whole, but I'm very bad when it comes to anything that could draw attention to parts I have body issues over so haven't been able to talk about it. It's taken me a while to post about it on here...

2

lovehoney sell an intimate part spreader that holds the labia open and if positioned right the bit that sits internally rests on the g spot.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28563

3

My wife's about your size so understand what you mean, I've just ordered the above product to see what we can do with it, should make oral easier for me, I hope, and am going to try sex too with it, could be a laugh though some reviews seem to imply it may not suit a larger person, we'll see! I'll post a review in a while after it's arrived.

You could try a pussy pump, yes it will make everything bigger(so may hide your bits) but I'm told it can make them much more sensitive so although potentially hidden they're more likely to be more stimulating? takes a bit of time getting used to using it, but you can always return it later if its not for you, I think the idea of 'them' appeals more to us men too, but you could try it.

4

VirginAngel wrote:

lovehoney sell an intimate part spreader that holds the labia open and if positioned right the bit that sits internally rests on the g spot.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28563

I would back this up 100% we bought ,use and reviewed this it is an amazing toy. Take a look.

5

Thanks for your replies guys. I've had a look at it looks like it could be something that I save up for and treat myself for my 21st!

One question I have with that, is would it not bruise my partners thigh?

6

Have you tried just using your fingers to arrange yourself? After that the pressure from your partner's thigh may be enough to keep everything in place. You can also experiment with grinding against the side of your hand, a dildo or even something makeshift like a shampoo bottle to learn more about what you need. Does it help to have stimulation along your inner labia or is it all about the clit? Where is your clit and what sort of angle works best?

How much experimenting have you done with different angles when you're with your partner? Her leg being a little higher could make a world of difference for you. And if you've just done it on your sides facing each other, take turns going on top - and don't worry about your body issues. She'll be looking at your face and breasts and you'll be grinding on one of strongest, sturdiest parts of her body.

Have you tried something like her going against your thigh while stimulating your clit with her fingers? It's not quite as intimate as a mutual grind but it can come pretty close.

In terms of her comfort with the labia spreader, my guess is that getting poked by the ends would be more of a problem than bruising. Might be uncomfortable for you internally because there would be less control of the spreader's movement during grinding than oral or manual. I'm thinking that it's best use for two women could be G-spot stim during oral, especially for someone with shorter fingers. The personal touch has its benefits but it's also nice to be able to use something with easier ergonomics sometimes.

Try adding something internal like kegel eggs so there's pressure from the inside as well. That adds a lot to so many positions. Vibrating ones might give an extra boost, but they might also distract if the rhythm is at odds with the rest of the stimulation. Grinding tends to be more of a slow build so you might want to look for those sorts of vibrations.

Really tune into what's going on for your partner, like the changes in her body and breathing, and lose yourself in the intimacy of this very lovely, intimate act. That can be enough for some women, and is often more important than actual clit stimulation. If you can learn to do that, it will probably be better than anything a toy can bring.

7

I've heard of some female bodied folk being able to use their anatomy to hold bullet vibrators in place hands free. Might be worth experimenting with that or another more smaller style vibrator.

8

rose hip wrote:

Have you tried just using your fingers to arrange yourself? After that the pressure from your partner's thigh may be enough to keep everything in place. You can also experiment with grinding against the side of your hand, a dildo or even something makeshift like a shampoo bottle to learn more about what you need. Does it help to have stimulation along your inner labia or is it all about the clit? Where is your clit and what sort of angle works best?

How much experimenting have you done with different angles when you're with your partner? Her leg being a little higher could make a world of difference for you. And if you've just done it on your sides facing each other, take turns going on top - and don't worry about your body issues. She'll be looking at your face and breasts and you'll be grinding on one of strongest, sturdiest parts of her body.

Have you tried something like her going against your thigh while stimulating your clit with her fingers? It's not quite as intimate as a mutual grind but it can come pretty close.

In terms of her comfort with the labia spreader, my guess is that getting poked by the ends would be more of a problem than bruising. Might be uncomfortable for you internally because there would be less control of the spreader's movement during grinding than oral or manual. I'm thinking that it's best use for two women could be G-spot stim during oral, especially for someone with shorter fingers. The personal touch has its benefits but it's also nice to be able to use something with easier ergonomics sometimes.

Try adding something internal like kegel eggs so there's pressure from the inside as well. That adds a lot to so many positions. Vibrating ones might give an extra boost, but they might also distract if the rhythm is at odds with the rest of the stimulation. Grinding tends to be more of a slow build so you might want to look for those sorts of vibrations.

Really tune into what's going on for your partner, like the changes in her body and breathing, and lose yourself in the intimacy of this very lovely, intimate act. That can be enough for some women, and is often more important than actual clit stimulation. If you can learn to do that, it will probably be better than anything a toy can bring.

Rosehip you've made my day!

This is going to sound really silly but as muhc as I've googled there is hardly any useful stuff for F+F couples compared to all the sex advice for F+M. And it's just so alien going from knowing what I'm doing with a guy, to this which actually feels far more intimate but so much more scary!

For now we're staying away from any kind of internal-ness. I'm my OH's first everything, and before we got together she saw herself as asexual and so far all I've managed to do is confuse her by getting her closer to being over her fear of lady parts (even her own) and feeling all the good feels down there can give!

We've only the past few times started to experiment (at which point I came running to here for help!) so we haven't tried many angles yet. But I think I'll show her what you've said, and even the internal stuff we can add onto our "to try in the future" list :) We've tried sides and turns on top, but I didn't stay there too long as I got shy, so i may have to man up *cough* and try again.

THANK YOU! I've just felt so lost with all this!

Pixieking - When I had my wrists operated on I had to learn how to do it hands free for solo play, maybe that'll come up again as a pair further down the line!

9

One thing that might make you feel better is to know that people like to be pleasured in their own unique ways. Men and women, large or small, we all have our little quirks and what works for one won't work for another.

You can bring this up in a way that avoids mentioning your pubic mound, or any negativity, in a few ways. The more subtle way would be to react positively when your partner stimulates you in a way you like. You know, lots of mmm's and "that feels so good" etc. However, expecting our partners to mind read is not the best plan and can delay your receiving pleasure. Instead of saying "This doesn't work for me" or "My pubic mound is covering my clit" etc, approach it in a positive way. For example:

"Mmmm it feels really teasy when you grind on me, it is building me up, but I need your fingers/tongue etc to push me over"

"That's making me so hot I need to touch my clit"

You want to try and get the message across that it feels damn good, but its just not the right stimulation in the right place for YOU and trust me, there are many smaller women who could not get off from grinding alone. Its just about personal taste. For example, I am size 12 to 14 and m clit is exposed by parting my legs slightly. However, I actually PREFER to keep my legs closed and feel his fingers on my labia majora only, which can take me to orgasm easily. So, despite having a different looking vulva, I sometimes like the opposite of you (indirect stimulation).

Manyyyy women have "buried" clitoris'. Like...I am smaller than you and as mentioned, my clitoris is exposed when I open my legs, but I still always have to pull back on my pubic mound to pull the clitoral hood up and expose my clitoris. Sometimes I want direct stimulation, sometimes it is too intense and I want my legs closed and no direct contact at all.

Anyway, the point is...while your vulva may be fuller due to being larger or having children (like many, many of us), its not unusual or different and lots of us have specific needs (left side of the clit, right side, direct on the tip, fast and hard, slow, soft etc) - so please don't be afraid to speak up and tell your partner what you need. I can bet you that s/he is extremely attracted to your vulva just the way it is and knew you were curvy before s/he even got you naked. s/he chose you because to him/her, you are stunning. It's not easy to get past body issues, esp with new partners, but they are in bed with you having orgasms - that's how hot they find you! So...go get yours! :D

10

Naughty Miss K wrote:

We've only the past few times started to experiment (at which point I came running to here for help!)

Trust yourself.

This is all new, but you'll be fine. Take it as slow as you need and trust yourself and your body's wisdom.

Have a think about your partner and how you feel about her body. There are probably parts of it that she doesn't like but you love. Are your feelings for her dependent on her weight or shape? Why should hers for you be so different? She's with you because you're an amazing and beautiful woman.

Women who love women get to understand and experience this far more immediately than women who are only ever with men. Grab onto the opportunity to learn to love your own body as well your partner's.

You're both magnificent.

11

Fluffbags - thank you! It's taken me a while to reply because I didn't feel like a simlpe "cheers" would quite cover it!

I jumped in at the deep end and showed her this thread, so now at least she knows!

It's made me feel a lot better about it all, as as much as I knew that everyone's downstairs were different, that hadn't quite translated to this!

rose hip, thank you! That really made me smile, "There are probably parts of it that she doesn't like but you love." is so true!