Wife and I have been married 34 years and back when she was active we discussed many of our former lovers . We usually did it when we were both pretty horny already and the story time just got us hotter . As a side note , when telling a lover about how many times in a night you made love , they often want to try and top it . Lucky I am to wore out and not in good enough shape to make a serious attempt these days .
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I met my wife via swinging, so have never had an issue discussing previous partners or activities with her. In the early days she often asked me about my previous experiences as I did her.
These days? I doubt there’s much we don’t already know but I’d gladly answer any questions she may have.
Everyone has a past. You can’t change that. And nor should you as every previous experience and encounter has brought you to where you are now. It’s personal choice as to how much is shared of course but refusing to answer questions can sometimes do as much harm as answering them openly.
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My husband knows my ex as we are all in the same friendship group, which was a bit awkward 
when we first got together. We kept it a secret as we thought it might just be casual.
We had a lot of conversations about exes at the beginning of our relationship. He has slept with a lot more people than me (mostly casual), but I don’t know much about them. He mostly told me about his most recent ex (who I know too), who he lost his virginity to and another person who he had a negative experience with.
I am an open book, so happy to share details about my exes if he asks, but he’s not really interested.
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He husband knows about my ex’s, he doesn’t really ask about details but I recently learnt that his numbers were a lot higher than he’d originally told me and some of the names etc … and I agree that lieing about ex’s is never good. Always be honest - they are ex’s, that’s the whole point - EX
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Agree about lying but feel there are certain things I did when single which I’m worried about sharing. One night stands and situations I’d got myself into that I’d put to bed until his questions were raised
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If you are with someone that you see yourself with for the foreseeable future - I think it’s best to be honest and tell the truth, because that creates trust and a much stronger relationship.
Everyone has a past, done things we regret, been young and naive, made bad decisions.
But that’s what has made us into who we are today.
Sometimes, sharing some of the things we feel bad about - can actually make you feel better.
If I’m with a someone that I want to be with forever, then I want to know everything about them x
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Oh I don’t know, maybe there’s something quite erotic getting the details and thinking about your partners’ antics in a previous life…
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To be honest I don’t care what my partner has done in previous relationships.
But she did find out my me and my ex had
Strap on and she found this out because my ex told everyone. So not only did my ex screw me she fk’ed up my sex life too. How do I fix this??
It depends really on what needs fixing?
Can only assume you mean your current partner has not took the news so well, but there’s no context to what she is unhappy with?
I.e. is she angry about the act itself, angry she found out through your ex, etc.,
In relation to ‘fixing’ it, my personal thoughts would be to own it and talk with her about it, especially in as far as what her feelings are based on. It was an act that was right for you with your ex, by rights, that act itself should have no baring on your current relationship - but that of course doesn’t always play out in real life due to other factors such as jealousy, or other such feelings (and of course thoughts).
But yeah, firstly own it, and try and understand what parts are making your current partner upset about it. So second part, communication, lots of talking and listening, and hopefully you’ll get to the bottom of it (no pun intended)
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We have told each other all our sexual activities from our pasts. To the point where i have asked to see how big some of her certain exes was and she found pics online of exactly how big there cocks where. We often use a sleeve and we pretend i am one of her hung exes its really hot.
Sounds exactly like me. My first was my long term current partner and she has a lot more sexual experiences with people other than me and it does still bother me. I feel like I have severely missed out and to be honest I just want to fuck almost any woman. I find myself womanising a lot, I don’t know if it’s linked but I feel like I make up for it by watching more porn etc.
I’m very loyal and love my gf so would never cheat on her but sometimes I really wish I could just fuck a few other women and feel more fulfilled sexually. I’m just stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have a perfect GF who I love and have a lot of sex with but I also feel like I lost out. In the early years I was really jealous and angry about it but as I’ve matured I’ve kind of realised it’s my fault and not hers and I’ve somewhat got over it. I’m more angry with myself that I didn’t get around more if anything.
I still sometimes wonder now and again what she got up to, how big where the other guys she was with, I kind of know in my mind now im the biggest and best she’s had because I have done things to her no other guy has and she craves my dick, so I kind of don’t care now, I’ve accepted she has slept with other guys but I know none of them could hold a candle to anything I have done with her, I also took her anal virginity so I have that but I always have that itch to fuck other women and im not sure it will ever be scratched unless I cheated and I feel I have more to lose than gain, my only hope is that one day she wants some female action herself and allows me to participate but that seems far fetched.
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My ex friend (hubby’s ex girlfriend) introduced me to my husband, so I knew her. It doesn’t bother me that they have a history because he swears up and down that I’m the better catch: more fun, kinkier, kinder etc.
My husband knows about all of mty exes, though I only answer questions he wants to know. Bad news for them: he’s the best sex I’ve had.
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Me and my oh have spoke about previous sexual excounters, more me asking her as i find it a massive turn on knowing what shes done in public etc and the build up to that specific time.
My OH is a touch older than me and had a couple more partners than me however, I’ve never really asked and don’t want to know.
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I suppose one side of it is that he may want to fantasise about you with another bloke although if he thinks too hard about it then jealousy could be a problem. If its not Just be wary he may eventually want to turn fantasy into reality as it can be a thing for some men.
Personally my oh knows i have had more boyfriends than he has had girlfriends. He does not ask any questions about them as he would get very jealous. Although he knows my very first orgasm was with him.So really he has not got anything to be jealous of.
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I think you have a bit too much to loose to risk that and not all women want to get intimate with another woman unless they are bi, especially if it is just to have sex with the oh to scratch their itch. Although maybe she might have an itch to scratch of her own and introduce another male. Just saying be careful what you wish for as it could bite you in the backside and you lose the lot.
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When I first met my ex, web went through a period of both of us working out the problem with her soreness after we had sex. Then discussions turned to the size of her ex lovers dicks. She had just gotten divorced and her ex had an almost 8” dick but really skinny. That was the biggest that she had, and then there was my fatty. I’ve never felt intimated by my former gf’s lovers..
For me it depends how open you are with each other. Jealousy isn’t a thing with us, so we’ve told each other every story, who with, how many, even the little details. You get to a point, where you are that comfortable it doesn’t matter - probably helps that we don’t take each other to seriously or the things we say.
We always said, no lies, no hiding anything and always be honest - we can often spend hours just chatting to each other about our pasts, childhood memories, anything really.
You don’t realise how much communication means in a marriage or relationship until things start to breakdown (this forum is real proof of that).
That’s how it ended with my EX.
This time around I decided change was needed if I got into a relationship again, so me and the OH do things differently than previously and so far its been great 
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I think for most couples they will discuss previous relationships, but sometimes i feel like people dig deep due to insecurities etc. the only issue is once you hear something, you can’t erase that. So be open and be honest, but I believe the details need to be carefully discussed as knowing someone has had sex in the past with a hung lover is quite simple, but if they then bring up how intense orgasms are and positions etc, it may cause upset.
Communication is key though and don’t dig if you don’t want to hear the answer 
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All pretty sensible answers.
Sometimes the questions are asked out of interest but sometimes jealousy. If you were their first sexual partner then yes it can be insecurity etc but just remind them its irrelevant now, because your life is with them now and together you can do “firsts” with them moving forward.
Some people dont mind if their partners are experienced etc, whereas others like to be the ones that show their partners how to enjoy lovemaking in its many different forms.