Has anyone kept letters / emails etc to or from an ex?
I had a secret relationship for months with someone in work. We used to email each other and I used to write letters to her (never gave them to her!). Ive still got the letters and our email conversations (20 years ago this month!). Although Im happy now I do read them quite a bit and wonder…
Anyone else do this? Is it odd now Im happily married with kids etc?
I’ve kept letters and items from past relationships especially if they come with good and fond memories. They are in the past, enjoy the memories and love in the now.
I would say its odd thats you’re now reading them quite a bit and wondering…when you’re married. Is your wife aware of this? If she is and isn’t concerned and your communication and relationship is healthy, then its all good.
I’ve deleted everything as soon as I split up from exes.
Shame as one used to send me naughty vids and pics all the time but out of respect I wouldn’t watch them again.
Only thing I’ve kept is my ex wife’s dirty messages to her lover and a dirty phone call I recorded but mostly as evidence as she was a great liar and manipulator
Not exactly letters but I’ve kept all of the photos of my ex, they were all taken on a Polaroid camera and throwing them away seems like a waste. I also can’t bring myself to delete any text conversations with him, I imagine that when I meet someone new I’ll get rid of them all.
I don’t think it’s weird that you’ve kept letters from your ex, it’s always good to reminisce about the past. I would say just make sure your wife is aware if not already, wouldn’t want her getting upset as she might think they’re from a current lover!
Honestly… I wouldn’t keep them.
It’s a past relationship that’s moved on or ended.
If your partner NOW finds them or you reading them, it will only end in conflict and trust issues.
I remember when my first proper relationship ended I was devastated I couldn’t get over her, I was crying everyday, in the end a mate said that’s it we need to do something, so he gathered all of her stuff and we burnt them, definitely a harsh thing to do, the only things I had left was the polaroid pictures, I hung onto them but eventually I knew it was time for them to go.
28 years later I do wish I had kept the letters as it was my first serious relationship and someone I really respected. Alot of my sexual discovery and awakening came from that relationship.
How whimsical it sounds and like the starting to a romcom film 
I’ve never kept anything, personally. The only thing I sorta kinda kept was the bracelet a LDR ex sent me, but he was cheating and abusive so when we split up I repleced it with something to remind me to love myself first, always. I still wear it.
Interesting different views on my question. A bit of context. I was in my first proper relationship but it wasnt love as such. I met this person at the same time and felt true love for the first time. I was too much of a wimp to end my relationship so basically led my true love on for a bit and she got fed up waiting. 10 years later i met my now wife and here we are. I havent spoken to the “true love” for 20 years but as i say i do have letters and emails from that time. I also have unsent letters.
No-one knows about these and they are perfectly safe.
I dont think its a case of wanting to be with that person again. i have a family and she probably does as well but i do firmly believe that i would still be there for her in an hour of need. Not because i want to be with her but because of the love i had i would do anything for her to be safe.
I get that some people will see this as odd or weird but im quite a solitary person and those that gain my trust and love will always be important to me.
I got rid of everything with my exes. There are nice memories but ultimately there’s enough baggage attached that that tends to come up every time such memories are remembered. I don’t feel I want to be reminded of things. I deleted everything sexual the day of the breakup and most of the photos went later.
With most exes, I got rid of anything that reminds me of them, but I do have one exception. This was the same woman that I’ve spoken of in a thread about forbidden love.
I have all of our old messenger conversations still. I looked back on them years later and they were so sweet that I didn’t want to get rid of them. They were happy memories of the first person that I really clicked with, even photos of us together and kissing.
I am happily married now, and am with someone that is a lot more compatible with me sexually. But there’s definitely something special about that first person who you felt fireworks with, it wouldn’t feel right to delete it all, especially when you split amicably (because I wasn’t religious and her parents wouldn’t approve of me).
My first boyfriend was in the Royal Marines and so I had a lot of letters from him over the four year relationship we had. He may have been my first love but I wanted to keep nothing from him or pictures of him so got rid of everything shortly after we broke up (i sent him a dear John letter as I was afraid of what he would do it I told him face to face on his next leave). The force changed him and his opinion of women worried me so I could not care less about him now.