Hello all,
I'm in a long distance relationship, which has had its fair share of ups and downs. We've been going for 3 years, and see each other every 4-8 weeks, although sometimes it does stretch longer...most of the people around me are either single or living with/near their OH. To be totally truthful it can make it very lonely as we both struggle with talking on the phone, and so only text.
Is anyone else in the same boat as me or can sympathise?
Thanks - Naughty Miss K x
Hi Naughty Miss K!
I can totally symphathise, as can others there are several people on here who are in LDR's. I can imagine it can feel even more lonely if you don't hear each other voices as much. I've been with my OH several years now, we're able to get together once a year, two to three times if we're lucky!. He left to go back home in March and we're not quite sure yet when he's able to come back.
Chin up hunni! xx
Hey babe,
I'm not really in a LDR but my partner is in the military and is deployed at the moment (so I suppose it is a LDR for now lol).
3 years is awesome! Good for you guys. I know it's lonely it is a really strange feeling. Sending hugs to you!! xx
Have you ever tried skyping or facetime etc? My boyfriend and I do that and it makes it much nicer than talking on the phone. I also skype my family over the other side of the world and it helps me from feeling lonely and isolated.
Quite a few people on here are in LDR or have been so I'm sure you will get loads of support and understanding and advice :)
xx
EDIT Ps Frozen Angel...there's the girl I was looking for! lol x
FrozenAngel - I don't know how you do it! That's incredible.
MissChar - I've mentioned skype but it didn't seem to float - I think it's time to try again.
I've just finished my first year at uni - we met at home before I went and have both since moved - and I'm focusing so much on the fact we've made it through the first year at uni which doesn't seem to happen to often.
It's nice to know there're other people in relationships other than the 'norm'. Thank you :)
x
Yeah I really recommend skype.
You can just skype while you're doing other things too, sometimes i just have it there while i'm cooking tea or folding the laundry or whatever, so it doesn't have to be so face to face if he/you thinks it might be weird!
Yup that definitely doesn't happen too often, you can be proud of that!
What I've been doing as well is planning sexy surprises like crazy for my mans return, and I do it when he goes away on smaller operations too. Gives me something to do and something to look forward to :) xx
been in one for 28 yrs when it started there was no e mail or internet so we wrote letters since a 10 minute once a week cost 10 % of my salary good luck and stay commited
I agree with Char, Skype is essential, I have a Skype voice chat open pretty much 24/7 the call is always on, and usually both our cams on too. We're in different time zones. So when he comes home from work I'm usually snoring on cam and visa versa, it keeps us both connected and feeling like we're part of one anothers lives even when we're so far away!.
Thank you so much for all of your support, it means an awful lot.
MissChar - I always try and do something, when he visits we get 2 nights and a full day to do something, so whether it's bacon for breakfast or a new suprise in the bedroom I have to spend time planning something.
gunther - 28 years? That's awesome! Congrats :)
FrozenAngel that sounds just like what I need at the minute, but I have a feeling it'll take him a while to come round to the idea...can but try.
x
I can relate. I've been in an LDR for 2 and a half years. We try to see each other once a month for a 2 or 3 night visit usually. It hasn't been easy to deal with the distance, especially since I'm the kind of person who needs a lot of physical affection, but lately I'm really struggling and finding myself more frustrated and bothered by it than ever.
Actually, just last night I posted this on Twitter...
'Are there any books or guides about #LDRs aimed at couples who have been long distance for a few years already, rather than those new to it?'
I haven't had any responses though. Maybe someone here can recommend something?
AliMc wrote:
I can relate. I've been in an LDR for 2 and a half years. We try to see each other once a month for a 2 or 3 night visit usually. It hasn't been easy to deal with the distance, especially since I'm the kind of person who needs a lot of physical affection, but lately I'm really struggling and finding myself more frustrated and bothered by it than ever.
This sounds exactly like the situation I'm in! I wouldn't put myself as clingy, but I do need the contact/attention/physical affection that would come in seeing someone more. Doesn't help that the OH lives in a flat with a different female and as he's older is of the age to be settling down...the mind wanders with such things.
If you find anything about a book, please let me know! I'll give you a heads up if I hear anything :)
Naughty Miss K wrote:
Thank you so much for all of your support, it means an awful lot.
MissChar - I always try and do something, when he visits we get 2 nights and a full day to do something, so whether it's bacon for breakfast or a new suprise in the bedroom I have to spend time planning something.
gunther - 28 years? That's awesome! Congrats :)
FrozenAngel that sounds just like what I need at the minute, but I have a feeling it'll take him a while to come round to the idea...can but try.
x
Miss K Ive been in Germany 2 yrs and 8 mnths with just the odd weekend and a week and a half at christmas, this job has tested our limits...but 9th August is our wedding anniversary (27 yrs) I will go home saturday and bloody well stay there for three months. I phone her now once a day for 5 minutes so long as we arre both ok we dont have much to say, different when i am home you cant get a word in edge ways.
we both avoid stressing each other I never say how much I miss her or anything like that it is counter productive and makes things worse
I wouldn't call myself an expert on it or anything, but I certainly know what it feels like. It's hard work, and with hard work it can really work out.
Like I said for me and my OH Skype is essential, as well as WhatsApp if you have a smart phone you can download it free for a year then it's like 60p the following year, it uses your internet and sends free txt messages, pictures, videos and voice clips. Myself and my OH use it a lot when we're either both out or one of us is. He's currently at work now, so I'll send him txt's, voice messages and if I'm feeling naughty and want to turn him on in work I'll send him a bit of a naughty pic for fun and it keeps the spark up. I love knowing that even in different countries I'm still able to make him want to come home and ravish me! lol
The other thing is spending time together, being able to spend a bit of time together each week, having date nights ect. My OH and I have a skype convo on 24/7 so we get passing conversations when we're both busy, and when we have that time to ourselves we'll find a movie to watch, log on netflix or something and call 1 2 3 PLAY and we'll play the movie at the same time and watch it together, it makes us feel like we're there. We have several series that we watch together too, so it feels like we're spending that day together weekly to watch a show like we would if he was here. We also play online games together when we have the chance and other games, like battleship (My fav boardgame lol) he has one half of the game I have the other, we'll put the cams on and play it. We'll occasionally play Monopoly one of us will put the cam on the board and the other will move the peices ect for the other (Or we play it online on Pogo)
The other thing that's essential is trust. You really need to be able to trust your OH, and I trust mine 100%. We talk about anything and everything, we always let each other know about how we're feeling and in the years we've been together we've probably had two arguments and even those were small minor disagreements. He knows where I stand in realtion to things, and I know where he stands. We have our boundries, and we have our seperate lives if we're busy we're busy, it makes the time we spend together even better.
But yeah I do get lonely on those nights where I just want to be able to hold him, cuddle him and have a kiss, but it just means that when he is here everything we do together is special even if it's just laying on a hotel bed chatting nonsense, eating a pot noddle whilst we have some show playing in the background.
for the record all my friends from school years and after are divorced as are my wifes...makes me smile inside when they tell me my life must be hard lol
he he frozen angel.....agree on the trust thing but my wife knows very little about my life, she once laughed when she saw on my CV that I spoke italian....I was in italy for 3 yrs and learned it...she never knew lol
Thanks for all the support. I spoke to him last night about it, but his excuse was he doesn't have a camera, then changed the subject. It's his birthday next month...so guess what I'll be getting!
Gunther I hope you have a really lovely wedding anniversary! Anything planned? :)
It sounds like you have everything worked oout between you for dealing with the distance FrozenAngel, I think we need to start seriously thinking of finding a better way of managing :) I trust him - the only reason the flatmate bothers me is because it means I'm not allowed to go visit him because he lives there...go figure!
Thanks for all your help :)
NMK x
Naughty Miss K wrote:
Thanks for all the support. I spoke to him last night about it, but his excuse was he doesn't have a camera, then changed the subject. It's his birthday next month...so guess what I'll be getting!
Gunther I hope you have a really lovely wedding anniversary! Anything planned? :)
Thanks MNK
Mrs G is at work on Friday so a nice meal out on the evening, probably take her to the lake district on the Saturday where we had our first date.
Skype really is great for long distance, being able to see each other and chat is so much nicer than just being on the phone. Buy him a camera! just a £15 logitech one will do fine.
When I was long distance with my girlfriend we also used to do things like watching the same tv show or film together. Its never the same but it all helps make you feel closer.
We kept meaning to try some internet sex toys but its hard to find good ones.
Sounds lovely gunther, enjoy it!
I will get him a camera, and his birthday is a brilliant excuse :) Wish me luck!
I was in a long distance relationship once, London - Australia. It just didn't work, but having had years to reflect on it, don't think its the distance, just more about the people. We both met other people and moved on. It did hurt, but time did heal. She has two little girls now and I'm happy for her.
Dont mean to sound negative, go for it - we didn't have skype then 