Loosing erection - cock ring help

Hi I have recently started loosing my erection when having sex with my wife. Will a cock ring help? Any recommendations? Do you normally put it round the base of the penis or round penis and balls?

many thanks

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A cock ring may help to maintain an erection once it’s established but my initial advice would be to go see your GP. I had a similar problem a few years back and it turned out that I had a very low testosterone level. Once that was diagnosed and suitable treatment prescribed the problem disappeared.

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Go and see your GP first of all.

In the meantime, don’t stress over it and don’t put pressure on yourself. It happened to me for a long time and am not ashamed to admit that for a time I wasn’t getting hard at all.

Men are under a lot of pressure and it’s not really discussed that often and m glad you’ve brought it up here.

Remember sex isn’t just penetration, what I did is wanks and tit wanks. No pressure just fun without worrying about getting it in and staying their.

Pleasure your partner with your hands and mouth and if that’s all that happens then it’s fine. Sex is all intimate contact. If you caress her breasts then your having sex.

I remember what I was told once “penetration is like having dessert, you don’t eat dessert every night”.

Am okay now because I don’t put pressure on myself and the sexual intimacy between us is amazing, we don’t always even need to climax.

But I repeat go and see the GP if it persists as you might have a minor issue with the old chap. I suspect it’s more the. Likely stress and worrying about performing. But am not a medic.

If you need further help then am not sure if you can message me direct if so then feel free to do so, I have experience of this issue. If not then it’s a good bunch of folks on here and we’ll help you get through it.

To answer your other question yes I have found a cock ring helps, to an extent but please don’t pressure yourself on keeping it hard. You can still pleasure her even if it goes soft.

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I’ll echo the GP advice. :slightly_smiling_face:

But if you want to read up more on cock rings there are a couple of Lovehoney guides:

Cock Rings
Measuring for a Cock Ring

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Hi @astroguy,

I definitely echo @rockstar, @Ian_Chimp and @forwardghoul52’s comments, that seeing a GP is very important in this case. This is in part to rule out any underlying medical conditions: there are certain cases where wearing a cock ring can be dangerous (e.g. if you have certain allergies, or a bleeding disorder), so it is key to be fully informed before trying one yourself.

I would also suggest considering whether a cock ring is the only thing that may help you with your erection. If you are not struggling to get an erection during solo play, but you are when your wife is present, then perhaps the erectile issue is due to feelings of pressure, or a lack of communication. There are many other factors which can contribute to erectile issues, where simple things such as lifestyle changes, exercise, and speaking to a psychologist may help. However, again, I would strongly advise seeing your GP before trying anything yourself.

If your GP gives you the ‘all clear’, then cock rings may become an option for you. Cock rings work by slowing the blood flow back from the erect penis, and they can also increase sensation in the penis. Therefore, they can allow the penis to stay erect for a longer period of time. There are also many different types of cock ring: vibrating ones, metal ones, adjustable ones etc. Some are designed to go around the shaft and balls, whereas some are designed to sit on the shaft only. You can have a look at the Lovehoney Cock Rings page to see the variety that are available here.

But again, seeing your GP is definitely the priority here, in my opinion.

Hope this helps.

Edit: I forgot to mention earlier (probably because I take it for granted sometimes) that, as @forwardghoul52 rightly says, sex does not need to involve an erection. Please don’t be too harsh on yourself: there is a lot of stigma surrounding this ‘issue’, but you don’t need to feel ashamed of something that so many people with penises go through.

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Hi Everyone. Thanks for the advice. I think it’s probably best to call the GP. Guess visits are difficult at this time.

I can get an erection no problem. It’s maintaining it that’s become an issue, everything is normally fine until we get going with penetration, then I go soft, not completely but not really hard enough to carry on.
Which is why I thought of a ring for a short term solution.

If I do stay hard I then struggle to cum.

Thanks again for the help

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Also if you have been masturbating alot more or watching porn…you could be stimulated in a different way to having actual penetrative sex too which can affect erections.

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Getting even more common this it seems

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Second the advise here, although if you can get erections solo and finish then its unlikely to be physical but always worth a check up.

Do you fell anxious or stressed when it comes to PIV or have any performance anxiety you’re aware of?

As already mentioned, PIED is becoming more and more common so worth having a think about how or if your porn use is excessive.

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And gripping too tight when you wank too. That can then acclimatise you to need a much firmer amount of pressure than a vagina can generally provide.

I think abstaining for a period can help reset this. It used to be called the NoFap challenge if you fancy a google, but it may have evolved since I last looked it up. :+1:

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As @Zobles says stress and even tiredness can have this effect and yes a ring does help if I get like that I just stroke it hard again pop a ring on and jobs a good one. If it is happening with frequency though do see GP

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I’ve experienced loss of erections with PIV sex when feeling stressed or under pressure. Essentially, wife and I had been trying for a second child after she had several miscarriages, and when it’s the best time of the month to try we would then have sex 4/5 times over a short period of time as advised by our clinician. 1st and 2nd times fine, but then after that I would get really anxious about ejaculating. This was of course a psychological issue which I talked through with my therapist and my wife and I found that watching less porn in particular helped and really taking our time and enjoying the experience rather than just going at it each time!!

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I’d definitely see your G.P first, I have almost the same predicament, as I no longer have have a sex life with my wife, masturbation is my only release now, I saw my doctor and there was no underlying problems, I can’t stay hard long enough to cum so he did prescribe viagra, now when I’m in the mood and I have the time, I have a pill and about an hour later, it’s all hands on the pumps, today was the day and I managed to wank twice and cum both times and yes I licked it all up, waste not want not, really enjoyed myself.

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Its still NoFap :slightly_smiling_face:

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Hi Zobles

Think I feel a bit anxious, its kind of got to the point where i think its going to be ok, and then when we get to PIV its ok for a minute but then I get the oh here we go again thoughts and it just goes down hill! Dont think its porn related as were working from home with two kids in the house! Dont get much time alone.

Thanks for your help

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Thanks again all… Got a telephone appointment with the GP tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

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Good luck, hopefully you can get to the bottom of it. Have you spoke to your wife? Is she being understanding (can be quite difficult for us women to take…we like to think we will be non-jugdmental and supportive but it can come across wrong!!)

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Hi Zobles

Yes we kind of speak about it. Generally we both just laugh it off and I say it must be my age (47)

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Mine is my age, 56.

Hope all goes well with the GP @astroguy

I’ve found a cock ring won’t keep me fully erect so I wouldn’t put too much hope. Sure they help but not a long term strategy.

I’ve read that a lot of problems are psychological and that certainly matches my experience; when I’m drunk I can really struggle to climax yet when sober it’s all too quick.