I’m in a relatively new 9 month relationship after a very long almost sexless in the end marriage. We’ve had sex every single time that we’ve seen each other (including our first date ) and we’ve been living together for the last 6 weeks and have had sex every single day - usually both morning and evening. And there was me thinking my sexless marriage was due to peri menopause.
We are loving how active we are and we have such a close and loving bond. I’d love it to stay this way, to be honest. My question is, is that realistic? Are there any couples here who’ve managed to maintain daily sex, and it to feel natural and not forced?!
We have a lot of life stress right now and incredibly long work days (14 hours out of the house) so I’m feeling that if it’s easy now it should be sustainable!
Big hugs for how you ended up in a sexless marriage, at least it’s all in the past.
New chapter and it sounds amazing, as to
That is entirely up to you both, if you want it to be the fun and happy norm then yes, you just have to put the energy into the time together. Otherwise this is just a wonderful extended honeymoon period before a more normal 9-5 happens.
Congratulations on getting out of a sexless marriage. Me and Mrs C both did the same before we met each other.
In a new relationship you are both normally at it like rabbits so I think what you are doing is perfectly normal.
I personally don’t think twice a day, everyday is sustainable though. Regular sex with each other 3 or 4 times a week certainly is realistic.
I think once you have passed the honeymoon period, it’s this time that ultimately decides the relationship going forward.
If you both want the sex to continue regularly then make sure you talk to each other. If a week goes by without sex then sit down and figure out why sex stopped and make arrangements to get back into it.
I think not talking about it is partially what contributes to a sexless relationship so make sure you stay on top of it.
Congratulations @Bex on the amount of sex you are having in your new relationship. It is really down to both of you to work on not allowing it to stop. I am sure there will be many to give you tips on how to maintain things. Well impressed and keep it going . Good luck.
New relationship sex is incredibly exciting, but probably not sustainable in the long term. Enjoy it while it lasts. Certainly talking about things can keep the intimacy alive. Ignoring the eventual decline and not actively working to keep things more frequent and interesting will result in another low sex relationship.
Early on the dopamine is king and frequent sex is normal. But the brain is fickle and eventually that dopamine flood stops and you’ll fall into something more sustainable, like a few times a week.
The chances are that’ll feel fine for you. You’ll maybe intellectually miss the twice daily but physically your brain and body will be telling you just a few times is perfectly fine.
But key is to talk about it. The chances of that change happening to both of you at the same time is slim to impossible. So you need to know where you both are, and what each others needs are, as the relationship quite naturally and normally changes.
But for now, make the bloody most of it you lucky pair!!
Thank you for all the thoughts and tips. I’m surprised no one has commented (yet!) to say they have kept it at a daily pace in the long term. And I’m wondering why it wouldn’t be sustainable if we both want it? We talk about sex a lot and both feel we’re in the most compatible relationship of our lives (in all areas including sexually) and we’ve learnt lots of ways to bring it into our busy daily routines. We’ve perfected the art of the quickie too! So let’s see what happens over the next few months and years…
Good luck @Bex I really hope you both keep things going. It sounds like you are both well matched. I hope in 20 years time we are having the same conversation. Go for it the pair of you.
It’s not impossible to maintain that energy if you both prioritize and work at it. It’s pretty unlikely that you’d never miss a day – illness, injury, and life in general tends to happen – but keeping it going under normal circumstances is totally doable.
My OH and I have been together 16 years and we’re averaging about 5x per week. If we didn’t have a kid at home and she didn’t have frequent migraines, we’d be at almost every day. We challenged ourselves at the beginning of last year and I think we made it about two months without breaking our streak.
At the start of our relationship, my husband and I had sex daily, often multiple times, for about 15 months. Then we started dropping the odd day, and then another, until we started going weeks. Nobody’s fault, but life got in the way.
And when we almost lost each other (not sex related, but that loss of closeness didn’t help), we decided to prioritise sex, that physical contact. So we did, building back up again.
When we have been in the same place for any part of a day, we haven’t missed a day in about ten years now. It is perfectly possible if you prioritise it, and have a lot of variety.
Good luck @Bex
@Bex I will be so happy for you if you maintain that going forward. From the way you describe your relationship I think you’ve got as good a chance as any of us.
Don’t forget to keep us all in the loop though. We’re eager to learn.
Mostly the same thing we do on any other day. It doesn’t bother me, and most of the time it doesn’t bother her. Sometimes she doesn’t feel up to it (usually when cramps are unusually bad), but more often than not it doesn’t stop us. If it does, it’s usually just one day.
) and we’ve been living together for the last 6 weeks and have had sex every single day - usually both morning and evening. And there was me thinking my sexless marriage was due to peri menopause. 
