Hello, I am new to the forum, so any advice and recommendations will be greatly appreciated.
I am new to exploring the male sex toys and not too sure where to start or what to get. I am open to trying anything, i have tried speaking to my other half about trying new things, but she is reluctant to the idea of trying anal toys for me, i have tried a butt plug before and did enjoy it, i am open and have suggested the idea of pegging, but she is really against that. I know i cant force her to do anything she doesnt want to do, but it seems like when we foreplay and have sex, everything is for her pleasure, it is very one sided. So was looking for suggestions for any toys that might try and encourage her to explore or if there is any toys i can use whilst having sex to increase my pleasure.
Any advice, suggestions and recommendations are all greatly appreciated
Is she worried bum play must mean you’re gay? A very common and totally wrong misconception! I would advise having an outdoor of bedroom chat to explain that enjoying prostate play means you have a prostate which enjoys being played with just as she has a clitorus and a G-spot that probably enjoy being played with too.
Pegging, I suspect, is a step too far for her at this stage (and that’s okay!) but if you get a prostate massager and she sees how much you enjoy it, she might be open to more in the future. I’m sure the men on the forum can advice you better than I can on good ones to start with (@DLJL 's suggestion above looks great) but I would advise to stick with toys that look like toys, at least for now, as she would probably find realistic looking cocks a bit off putting if she is already concerned about bum play on you.
I would probably recommend either the Mantric P-spot Probe or the Mantric Prostate Vibrator. This is purely because I love the Mantric toys though and it may well be that the Prostate Massager is a bit too large and powerful as an early toy if you’re not used to it.
Thank you for the recommendations, will be sure to look into these, would love to see if there is any other suggestions, like i said i am new to this and want to know the best way to start and maybe some more advanced toys for down the line
I dont think she thinks that it means im gay, i think she is just scared of the thought of it, she doesnt want to touch or go near down there, ive said that there are toys that we can look at that she can just insert, but she doesnt want to look at “weird sex websites” in her own words
Hmm, maybe it’s just a dislike of the thought of poo. I get that and yes, clean up after might need to be a bit more thorough. I suggest starting on your own and hopefully when she sees it brings you pleasure and there’s not shit getting everywhere she might be more open to joining in.
I think you said in your other thread that she has her own toys. You using a prostate massager to stimulate your prostate is no different to her using a G-spot vibrator to stimulate her G-spot. She must have got her toys somewhere.
I think i will look at getting my own prostate massager, one thats not too expensive, as i dont want to buy a pricey one and not enjoy it and if i do enjoy it i will look for more.
I was the one who bought her toys, I’ve been the one that has got everything to try and spice things up, as she is uncomfortable looking on these sort of sites, she does enjoy what she has, but if i didnt get anything, we would have nothing and it would just be the same routine since we first got together, she would never use any of the toys on herself or play with herself or anything like that
I second everything @Peitho has said, and you are right, unfortunately, we can’t force our partners to do the things we want to do. I myself have a medical kink that I’ve come to realise I need to find my own ways to explore on my own terms, it is what it is, again, we can’t force our partners.
What does concern me though is when you said you feel your time in the bedroom is about her pleasure, not your mutual pleasure, that’s definitely worth putting the kettle on and having a conversation over a cup of tea. I’m also concerned about her seeming anxieties about sex, does she have some sort of hang ups there? Perhaps ingrained beliefs or stigma towards sex?
I wish you both the best and hope you find a mutually satisfying conclusion soon
I would really recommend a prostate massager such as the aneros helix syn that you could wear during your normal sex routine. It’s also really good for solo use too.
Next I’d recommend cock rings as they’re a fun way to boost your pleasure and there’s benefits for your partner too!
I think while I really hope you do get pegged at some point, it’s really not for everyone and anal itself is still a hard no for a lot of people. I think you could start small and introduce your partner to being more involved with pleasuring you anally such as with a remote control vibrator you could work up from there :))
This is exciting though and I really hope it goes well for you. Communication is probably key here so maybe be honest about your feelings of dissatisfaction and your wants to explore more of what makes you feel good :))
Not really too sure if she has any anxieties about sex, i think she i just happy with how thing’s are at the moment and maybe scared to try new things, which I’ll bring up the subject soon, i don’t want to seem like i keep pushing this sort of stuff on her.
Thank you for the recommendation, i will look into getting that one.
Thank you, i will introduce slowly and see how it goes, im not completely sold on the idea of being pegged, i just want to try new things and ive seen that males can get a lot of pleasure from the p-spot
Thank you for creating this post. This sounds exactly the same as me. I would love to try some prostate play, leading on to pegging if I enjoyed it but my OH has no interest in going anywhere near my bum hole. She is a germaphobe so the idea does not interest her at all. However I have now hit a stage where I want to take the leap and at least try some solo play and hope that it can lead somewhere.
