I definitely think i will proceed slowly based on your advice. I did mention it to her before and she didnt seem offended by the idea of sex toys etc. I am glad it has worked out with you and your wife and that is my aim that we can enjoy new things together by spicing things up.
I guess I just have to be brave and just talk to her about mine as well as her fantasies.
Wish me luck!!
report back if you have any problems
I wish you plenty of luck! Sex toys have certainly added a new dimension to our sex life. My wife was a little hesitant at first, but she now embraces them wholeheartedly.
Sometimes, when I'm busy, my wife will sneak up to the bedroom to have a little session with her vibe, which she'll tell me about later with a wicked grin on her face. My wife understands now that I enjoy the thought of her doing that, whereas previously she may have felt guilty, as if she were somehow cheating on me.
Regarding fantasies, I think the important point is that it's possible -- indeed, often healthy -- to fantasise about situations that would never take place in real life. So, when you share them, you're not asking for them to happen but rather sharing in a spirit of intimacy some thoughts that turn you on.
It took me ages to prise out of my wife's head a couple of fantasises that she secretly enjoyed! She's since discovered, though, that she gets turned on when I remind her about them and... hang on... that's a good thing for our play together.
Hopefully you get the idea! External Media
des69er wrote:
report back if you have any problems
I'd like him to report back anyway. External Media External Media
des69er wrote:
report back if you have any problems
Will do.
james kildare wrote:
Thanks for the great advice Mrs P.
I am just wondering how did you initially bring up the subject with your husband of this website and forum (or the other way around) ?
Initially, as we were having a few 'issues' I wrote a heart-felt letter about things, including things I wanted from our relationship, emotionally, sexually etc, and left it for him to read. I had tried hinting and talking with him, but he laughed off many of the things I was interested in. Things were generally good in our relationship at the time, but I felt I wasn't getting the sexual attention I needed! Once we'd had a chat about everything, I suggested Lovehoney as I had already visited the site to drool over things I wanted and had bought toys for friends birthdays etc. We ordered a huge haul of things the first time we looked on here together and haven't looked back - things for both of us to enjoy solo and together and not just sex toys, nice things like the games and candles too.
It was awkward at first in as much as we had to be really honest about our deepest fantasies, and I got some frowns for the things that turned me on, but once they were out there, it was a huge relief and he told me he really respected my honesty and would give thigns a go and now things are better than I could have ever hoped for.
Good luck!
Just bought the oh her first vibe with some lube and something for myself, she knows about the lube and "boys toys" but thought I'd sneak in a prezzie for her, hope she approves!
Would it work to (initially) treat a bullet vibe as an additional option for you to use on her clit? Like beginning to finger her and then telling her you have a wee present for her that you'd like to try. Then once she's comfortable, maybe offer it to her so she can try it on herself and show you what works best for her?
I'm thinking in terms of making it as small a step away from your usual as possible. Giving it to her for solo play might be a bit odd and puts in her the position of figuring out how and when to use it. If you introduce it to her, then all she has to do is accept and enjoy. And of course it's only natural that she knows where it's kept after.... ;-)
Good luck.
rose hip wrote:
I'm thinking in terms of making it as small a step away from your usual as possible. Giving it to her for solo play might be a bit odd and puts in her the position of figuring out how and when to use it. If you introduce it to her, then all she has to do is accept and enjoy. And of course it's only natural that she knows where it's kept after.... ;-)
Good luck. External Media
See I think I'd prefer to get chanceto figure it out if I were new to toys. Guess it all depends on the person but some women don't like to be watched, especially when exploring something new, it can add pressure.
Everyone is different though!
Adx
Alicia D'amore wrote:
rose hip wrote:
I'm thinking in terms of making it as small a step away from your usual as possible. Giving it to her for solo play might be a bit odd and puts in her the position of figuring out how and when to use it. If you introduce it to her, then all she has to do is accept and enjoy. And of course it's only natural that she knows where it's kept after.... ;-)
Good luck. External Media
See I think I'd prefer to get chanceto figure it out if I were new to toys. Guess it all depends on the person but some women don't like to be watched, especially when exploring something new, it can add pressure.
Everyone is different though!
Adx
Yes, only had one 'might' in that sentence. Was running out of ways to phrase it as a possibility and suggestion. The number of would its and maybes in the previous paragraph was getting a bit much. I guess I just assumed that the tone was obvious by the end. I should know better by now.
Thanks for putting me right.
rose hip wrote:
Alicia D'amore wrote:
rose hip wrote:
I'm thinking in terms of making it as small a step away from your usual as possible. Giving it to her for solo play might be a bit odd and puts in her the position of figuring out how and when to use it. If you introduce it to her, then all she has to do is accept and enjoy. And of course it's only natural that she knows where it's kept after.... ;-)
Good luck. External Media
See I think I'd prefer to get chanceto figure it out if I were new to toys. Guess it all depends on the person but some women don't like to be watched, especially when exploring something new, it can add pressure.
Everyone is different though!
Adx
Yes, only had one 'might' in that sentence. Was running out of ways to phrase it as a possibility and suggestion. The number of would its and maybes in the previous paragraph was getting a bit much. I guess I just assumed that the tone was obvious by the end. I should know better by now.
Thanks for putting me right.
I wasn't correcting you :)
Just offering the alternative side of the coin. Everyone is different so we all have different preferences and it's worth mentioning each side :)
Adx
Not married myself but can recommend looking at porn together - choose somthing sensible! She might not admit to liking it, but you might just get the best sex of your life :)
Lots of talk is the only way to go about it even if you just play a game where you have to answer honestly it will give you the chance to open up which should make her feel more comfortable.
Just a quick update. After a very enjoyable time with my wife over the weekend I brought up the idea of sex toys / vibrators. She just mentioned that she was'nt really into that .Dont think I will pursue this
Hi James
good to hear you had an enjoyable weekend and got to talk to your wife. She may have dismissed the idea of introducing toys into your sex life and i think you need to respect that but it doesnt mean that there is nothing you can do to spice things up.
Have you tried role play/ dressing up?
xGGx
