Hi everyone.I am new to this forum.Actually stumbled on it by accident. I was just looking for some advice.I am married to a beautiful woman with the past 6 years whom I love very much.We have quite an enjoyable sex life but recently I thought it would be interesting to spice up our sex lives a little but dont know how to approach this.I mentioned to her a few months back about maybe looking at porn together or trying out some sex toys and she kinda said ok but has never brought up the subject again. Does anyone have any advice on how I might go about discussing with her about ways we could spice things up a bit.
i am new here but what ive seen of the forums i would suggest it would be worth her taking a peek
any try to get her to join too, It will give her some thing to think about and may be open her mind to new things
I was just thinking the same thing.
and she might see some toys she likes too
des69er wrote:
and she might see some toys she likes too
get her to part in some of the private hot chat that must turn her on i know its worked for me
The Plaything wrote:
des69er wrote:
and she might see some toys she likes too
get her to part in some of the private hot chat that must turn her on i know its worked for me
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/inside-lovehoney/295128-lets-talk-about-sex/
Plaything, this isn't really the place for that. It's more a place for adults to discuss sex openly, not for cyber sex. There are many, many other websites dedicated to naughty online chat...this just isn't one of them.
Adx
My problem is that I have already mentioned a few ideas a while back but she has never brought it up again. Should I just bring up the conversation again.
How do I mention that I have just been looking at a forum with people discussing sex without upsetting her?
Also I dont think that having naughty online chat is what would work anyway. This is about just the two of us having some fun together
thats a tricky one to approach, she has to know it all about making her enjoy her sex life more. You really have to pick a good time
james kildare wrote:
My problem is that I have already mentioned a few ideas a while back but she has never brought it up again. Should I just bring up the conversation again.
How do I mention that I have just been looking at a forum with people discussing sex without upsetting her?
Welcome to the forums!
Maybe you could just suprise her with a little bullet? Wrap it up nicely and leave it on the bed for her to find, with a note saying if she wants to explore, go ahead.
She's already said she's happy to try so maybe you can get away with not discussing it?
Or tell her you've found a great website that sells lots of toys, sit down with her and shop together, tell her you'll just add loads of things to a wishlist then suprise her with one...tell her she doesn't have to like the look or much but she equally doesn't have to be embarrassed by what she does like the look of (maybe begin my showing her some things you think she might like to ease her into it?). And tell her about the 365 day returns policy so if she doesn't like it it's not the end of the world!
Drink wine and have a giggle whilst shopping and just ease her in to it :)
Adx
id say some wine would be a must too LOL
I like the idea of surprising her with a little bullet or something along those lines. I really do feel she would be receptive to the idea whilst not putting pressure on her by asking directly would she like a sex toy ect.ThanksExternal Media
And yeah...the wine is a good idea too. Semed to work when I first brought up the subject.
Hi James and welcome to the forums,
The key had to be communication and whilst the wine sounds like a good idea how about making it part of a lovely seductive evening with dinner and candles etc. Make her feel special so she doesnt think you are unhappy with your sexlife as it is, then talk openly about wanting to make things better for both of you.
When you tell her you have joined the forum tell her it is about adults openly discussing things not about hooking up or cyber sex but more a supportive community full of advice and lots of knowledge
xGGX
ghostgirl wrote:
Hi James and welcome to the forums,
The key had to be communication and whilst the wine sounds like a good idea how about making it part of a lovely seductive evening with dinner and candles etc. Make her feel special so she doesnt think you are unhappy with your sexlife as it is, then talk openly about wanting to make things better for both of you.
When you tell her you have joined the forum tell her it is about adults openly discussing things not about hooking up or cyber sex but more a supportive community full of advice and lots of knowledge
xGGX
Thanks GG. Sounds like another good idea. I am actually happy with our sex lives but I just think why not try some new ideas.It can only make us stronger as a couple.
Hi,
I would agree that in talking to her you will be able to discuss new things to try that'll suit you both. Browsing Lovehoney together is a great idea and that's how my husband and I got started - we each chose a few things and then had fun trying out our goodies together.
My other suggestion would be to try something intimate, like a massage candle, that highlights intamacy and not sex. In trying out something new like this, new ideas may come to you both in the sex department. So, rather than hand her a giant dildo, why not look at what you have in the house already - satin ribbon is great for some light bondage, ice cubes for some temperature play, a silk scarf as a blindfold... etc... Then that way you wont be letting on that you've been looking at sex-related websites. (Though of course there are advantages to being honest and telling her about the forum).
Lastly, I would suggest something like Monogamy (and buy the extra's kit if you can stretch to it! - you get a lovely bullet included!). This game is great and would suit most people and you can make it as 'vanilla' or as kinky as you like. Have a little read of the reviews and see if it's for you.
Good luck!
MrsPx
Thanks for the great advice Mrs P.
I am just wondering how did you initially bring up the subject with your husband of this website and forum (or the other way around) ?
I think another good way is for her to look at the shop on her own and then put things she may like onto a whishlist.
the intamacy ideas that others have stated is another good idea
or even something like the basic cock rings could be a good start as an introduction to sex toys without being too intimidating http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14798
Is the cock ring an enjoyable experience for a woman?
I suggest that you proceed slowly (one step at a time) but postively (don't feel ashamed about asking). I wonder whether my own experiences may help...
My wife and I have been happily married for many years, but it took me a while to start mentioning to her my more adventurous fantasies and the kinds of play that I was keen for us to try. My belief at that stage was that my wife's sexual interests were "plain vanilla" and that I'd shock her or frighten her off.
One evening, whilst in the throes of passion, I couldn't contain myself any longer and I whispered into my wife's ear my confessions about the sorts of things that I fantasised about trying with her. To my surprise and delight, she got off on it.
On later analysis, my wife explained that she didn't like all of my ideas, but she felt curious about some of them and -- perhaps most significantly -- she was turned on by the way that I was opening up to her some of my most intimate and (formerly) secret thoughts. Contrary to my expectations, there didn't seem to be anything that shocked her -- only things where she had been wondering whether I haboured a hidden desire. My wife asked me whether I enjoyed watching porn and, when I said yes, she asked me to put on a scene that I liked so that she could jerk me off to it. That felt fantastic -- what a relief!
Since then, I've been happy to share my naughty thoughts with my wife, in the confidence that she'll enjoy listening, and will just say "no, thanks" to ones that don't appeal to her. Excitingly, she is starting to say "yes, please" to some of them!