Masturbation and men

I’m a 40 year old woman who discovered masturbation edited by mod and haven’t looked back since? An average week now I would usually masturbate 6-9 times. This can be manual or with the vast array of toys I have. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years, we have a great sex life and he’s not one of these guys who’s bothered by his missus wanking or having toys. Our sex life is also great. But he has asked me if I need to masturbate quite so much. Vagina owners, how much do you masturbate? So you us toys? Do you wait until your partner has left the house? Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong but he also always said he didn’t mind that! I need reassurance here!

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Welcome to the forum @user2010 while you have a valid question we try to keep it open for all the forum to respond due to the forum rules.

Back to the question at hand though, and that answer is it just depends on who you are. Some people need it once or plural times daily some can do a week and that’s both men and women. While their partner is with them in the same room or the house or while they are out.

I would advise having a chat if your desire and needs don’t marry together always and see if there’s a way you both can be happy.

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Hello and welcome,

Similar to what @JGood said, there’s really no cookiecutter answer here. I suppose the better answer is, is it getting in the way of your sex life? Do you want sex as often as he does, or are you choosing masturbation sometimes over him?

Secondly, and possibly somr good news for him: sex is one of those “the better it is, the more you want it” things. So if you’ve had some amazing sex, and the following morning you need to masturbate… relax! It’s not that the sex was sub-par, it’s that it was so good, your brain is still remembering it!

Good luck to you both, and I hope that helps :slight_smile:

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Hi @user2010, welcome to the forum :blush:

I’ve edited your post to be in line with the forum rules (re sexual activity before 18 and also being open to all) :+1:t2:

Not having a partner, I can’t really comment on how much is too much in a relationship, but the amount I masturbate varies.

It depends on how I’m feeling and what’s going on in my life. I can go weeks without or it can be daily,. It’s like the others said, there is no ‘one size fits all’ answer.

As a male I think it is fine for a lady to masturbate as often as they like if it does not impact on the relationship. If they masturbate rather than having sex with partner then may be an issue, If no issue more the merrier.

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Welcome to the forum!

I sense if it’s not excessive then it’s alright and if your partner don’t mind either then I see no troubles here :relieved_face: just keep on enjoying yourself !

We are a couple in our mid 50s and navigating the dreaded meno. Wife’s sex drive is all over the shop. I generally need to masturbate 3-4 times a week. But abstain from Friday onwards so we can have some us time. She’s happy with that

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As a male I masturbate a few times a week at least. My sex drive is higher than the oh these days and I find it too frustrating otherwise. I don’t see an issue with masturbation in a relationship provided it’s not replacing sex.

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As a married man, I’m 100% supportive of my wife masterbating anytime she pleases. I think it’s very sensual to see her doing it. I feel as long as it’s not continuously being done instead of having sex or mutual masterbation between you both, then carry on. If you find that it’s taking the place of sex with each other, then maybe you need to talk through it and find what works for you both. Sexual desire and satisfaction for both in a relationship is obviously very important. I would guess he is just wanting to be included also.

Hey - you need as much as YOU need. Just reassure you partner that you love them but sometimes you just want to scratch the itch and move on with your day.

Also, if he likes it - do it in front of him - I know I find it hot.

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sounds pretty normal to be honest but everyone is different. I masturbate probally about the same times per week maybe abit less if im actually in a relationship since real sex is almost always preferable to wanking to me

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with either person wanting to masturbate. It can even help spark desire and lead to sex. So long as it doesn’t interfere with your sex life what’s not to love?

If my wife was coming down the stairs or something and said “oh by the way - I just pleasured myself . . . .” I would get an instant boner. I would find that so hot. Now hopefully that leads to something later on - but the fact that she is so open about her sexuality - I would need to change my shorts.

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I’m a 32 year old male and I have been masturbating for over 10 years. When I first started masturbating, I was doing it, easily, 3 times a day. These days, once a day, at night, in bed with my sex toy.

I still masturbate frequently despite me and my partner having good sex multiple times a week. My partner also masturbates time to time too. As long as you are both happy with your sex lives together then I would say its healthy to engage in some self pleasure time as well.

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You should do what feels right to you. I personally like the fact that my wife takes care of herself. In fact, I would love if she did it while I watched. We have good sex, so it is not a problem and for me, I still masturbate at times, unfortunately, if I have done it and she surprises me by wanting intercourse soon after, at my age , I am not always recovered enough to carry on. But there is always fingers, tongues etc to get the job done.

There is no wrong or right amount of masturbation. As long as it isn’t impacting your relationships or daily life in a negative way, wank away as often feels right for you.

I think the biggest thing alot of people get wrong is rushing masturbation and not being able to enjoy a longer more mindfully present session exploring different techniques, areas of touch etc. take some time and enjoy.

I actively encourage my wife to get herself off….I get turned on by it.

Mutually watching each other wank is so sensual.

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I remember the first time my partner asked me how I would feel if they bought over some toys to use on themselves. They seemed a little surprised when I didn’t flinch. For me it isn’t about what I think if I care about them how they get pleasure isn’t an issue.