I went out with my girlfriends last night and finally arrived for a coffee at my friends house, we were discussing what our other half’s were doing tonight and I said “mine’s having a wanking session” I was asked how I know this and I told them that he said he was going to enjoy some self pleasure. It seemed to shock the group and one of my friends said that her guy never does this. I laughed and said “all guys do it”. I then asked them if they had ever watched their guys wanking and they all said no. Then one said “but I’m going to ask him to show me”. There was a little embarrassment and the subject was dropped as quickly as I raised it.
It seems that I have opened up a new topic for intimacy that all my friends are going to investigate even though most are in denial.
Does anyone else on here notice this hang up people seem to have when it comes ( pardon the unintentional pun) to discussing masturbation?
@Love_Stud_Too
I think it’s fine to talk about wanking - it’s perfect normal and for many gives wonderful relief
For a man it reduces anxiety and sexual tension and for us women it’s a great way to pass the day - I won’t lie - but I’m happy to slip a few finders down every so often and just do it - no need to think about it - just do it …
I don’t have many female friends but the ones I have agree it’s no taboo and it’s just great- however male friends always seem shocked when it’s mentioned
I think the general consensus is a man has a wank just cause he can’t get his end away and/or is bored. Even sex toys for men still seems taboo amongst most of the population, if I bring stuff up like that with work colleagues you can see them getting uptight about it.
funny story from today actually, I’m a lorry driver and deliver stuff made by reckitt benkiser, and durex is one of the brands they own, on Thursday I delivered a pallet of butt plugs to a warehouse and I told my friend and he seemed really sheepish about it and considered the people of Newcastle a bunch of pervs
I really think the majority of people consider masturbation an admission of failure, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Masturbation is a profound joy for open-minded, pleasure-seeking, warm human beings - ie, winners, not losers.
We’ve been very happily married for 37 years, and masturbation has been absolutely central to making our sex life so much fun for so many years, for so many reasons.
Even worse is not doing it because of some ridiculous feeling of shame. Life is short, so don’t deny yourself pleasure because of somebody else’s ill-informed, misguided (and frankly sad) idea of what is ‘normal’, ‘acceptable’ or ‘moral’.
The biggest mistake of all is for someone in a relationship to do it in secret. Just because it’s a solo hobby for some, it doesn’t mean that masturbation isn’t for sharing.
I find ALL my friends are incredibly prudish when it comes to talking about anything ‘sex’
I have 1 friend, who eventually confessed to me that her fella bought her a rabbit and its never been opened. I was so shocked and almost demended that she go home, charge it and give it a test run. She got awfully embarrassed so i dropped the subject. Im very open with anyone.
The most open conversations ive had is with a couple of guys at work. We work in different areas of the business now and 1 has left but the 3 of us (pre covid) used to get into work super early and they would ask me questions and enjoy telling me about what they enjoyed or what they wished their wives would do etc and ask for advice on how to bring up subjects. Im happy to say that i helped both of them in the explorations. One of them came in to me one morning, beaming and went ‘we used a cock ring!’ he was so happy. Small steps but i thought it was amazing
To be honest, although we are extremely open-minded, like to experiment and fantasise, have lost all shame in the bedroom, love this forum and have enjoyed voyeurism and exhibitionism in swingers’ clubs, we don’t have any friends with whom we ever talk about sex.
So not talking is probably no measure of how much or little people are enjoying sex.
Then again, there is plenty of evidence on here that sexual hang-ups, ridiculous pre-conceived fallacies and pointless shame are epidemics that are preventing (probably billions of) people, worldwide, from enjoying one of life’s greatest pleasures.
Maybe it’s a cultural thing that we tend to shy away from that kind of talk as it’s always been seen as a secretive practice that is done behind closed doors
In years of friendship within our group, its never been discussed! I find my friends very guarded about their sex life, maybe only giving up the odd clue, like my thighs get tired doing cowgirl or i dont like to swallow, its usually laughed off and the tight lipped ones change the subject swiftly.
Only once one friend said something to the effect of, its always better when he helps, i got what she ment, the rest were clutching their pearls and i dont mean thongs
I have a work colleague that im good friends with and she would talk more openly and we know we both have toys and that our husbands take the opportunity to have a wank when they wish.
I know my wife sometimes chat to her friends about it and they all seem to chat about it OK. Maybe not in too much details. One of her friends said her husband is very well hungry and is massive and normally hurts not in a good way during her sex.
My wife knows I like watching anal porn and once she asked her friends and some of them had tried it but said they didn’t like it.
Shame I was hoping they were all going to say they loved it so I would do it more with my wife
I’m pretty sure if they asked my wife if I masturbate or wank a bit or lot when she’s not around she would say yes. She might even say we’ve got some toys…
I’m normally the one to keep our sexy toys charged up and make the orders. There’s something’s in our toy box which are just for me and she’s never seen before so when she saw some of them she said what’s this for?
I said it’s a suction BJ type vibrating masturbator and she said that sounds good.
I asked her once about pegging but it was a bit too far for her. We sometimes wear butt plugs and she knows I’ve tried lots of prostate masturbators trying to achieve the hands free male super o.
@Fire_Ice1 I need to get to this place talking about the anal stimulation. I like it and want to explore it more but do it now alone. Wife likes light anal stimulation but rarely asks for it.
As far as discussing sex around friends, we have plenty of jokes, minor talks but never anything in depth. I know my wife has said she’s talks about sex with her girlfriends sometimes but usually doesn’t share the details. I feel we’re getting better about talking sex with ourselves, but she’s still more reserved than me.
@xman69 when I wear a double vibrating cock ring my wife normally always orgasms at least twice sometimes three times before she gets way too sensitive then I finish off.
When I’m doing her doggy then she lies on her front my vibrating cock ring presses right into her anus and she likes it and says it feels like there’s something up there.
I’ve got a small metal sexy butt plug that looks great when she wears it but is a little bit too small. When we have vagina sex with it in and she comes powerfully it normally pops out which is fine.
I have a medium silicone LH weighted butt plug that is a great size for her once in and makes her orgasms even more powerful.
We haven’t used either for a while but will get into it hopefully next Wednesday and Thursday.
When I’m doing her doggy I feel like spitting on her bum so it rolls down her crack over her bum and onto my cock then put my thumb in her so might buildup the courage to try that soon. Good luck.
All sounds amazing, and I will gradually keep trying. We bought a vibrating cock ring and have played with it a few times and we both like it. However, I need to use lube next time as I had hell trying to get the second ring around my balls. lots of times when we’re fucking doggy style I lightly massage her anus and she never tells me to stop, plus she lets me rim her and enjoys that. I would definitely explore more anal activities with her if and when she ever wants to go further.
@xman69 good skills. The anus is a sexy taboo everywhere, I’m sure everyone loves it
I’ve rimmed my wife only once and think she likes it she said it tickled but thinks she likes it.
I love being rimmed but only if I’ve had a good shave and clean down there.
We’ve had anal sex a couple of times and it feels a bit warmer and tighter but mentally really good for a change.
I’ll try to build up with my wife to me doing her anal and me using a silicone curved g spot dildo in her vagina to see how she finds it being properly double penetrated.
Hopefully in a couple of weeks if her time of the month doesn’t get in the way we have the house to ourselves for two days so will try to get some new things ticked off.
Lube you definitely need lube for the double vibrating cock ring. I reviewed it saying it’s a house favourite and a great toy but if the loops could be 10% larger, more forgiving / less tight would be even better!
A lot of my friends are male so no, I can’t say as I’ve noticed any prudence (unless of course they’re married/in a relationship and not allowed to discuss intimacy with me, but that’s different). I was chatting to my Filipino friend yesterday and we discussed masturbation like it was a normal part of our morning routine.
With the women, I have noticed that some tend to me more giggly and shy about sex. Why that is, I’m not sure, I’m not one to push.
Maybe your open and honesty was a shock for them or they didn’t want to think of your partner masturbating, either out of respect for him or out of respect for you, or possibly both? Whatever their reason, I think it’s a good thing that you’ve got the ball rolling. Many couples could benefit from some added spiciness
There is a general reticence in talking about various aspects of sex and of masturbation in particular. It is often viewed as second best and a failure, as @2xtourists have said. It is also still tainted to a degree by a dirty, grubby image for some rather than as the normal, healthy activity that it is.
As we all here know, it has many positive benefits. For me, being single, I view it as a very important and valuable activity. I think it should not be viewed as a poor substitute for being in a relationship but, instead, should be recognised as a positive activity in it’s own right.
It is great that this forum provides the opportunity to be open about it and express what pleasure it provides, ( along with all the other things that also do so).
I have said most of the above before on the forum but hopefully in bears repeating.
Masturbation is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of at all. Yes, I’m a wanker It’s natural, you’re not getting anyone/getting pregnant or getting STIs, it’s not harming anyone and most of all it feels amazing! Most people masturbate or have masturbated and if they the don’t then probably lying. I openly talk to one of my mates about wanking and sex. He’s normally open minded but wasn’t so keen when I suggested him getting a fleshlight as he hadn’t had sex for ages and missed the feeling. There’s also another mate that I would feel awkward discussing stuff like that so all depends on the person and making that judgement.
lots of times when we’re fucking doggy style I lightly massage her anus and she never tells me to stop, plus she lets me rim her and enjoys that. I would definitely explore more anal activities with her if and when she ever wants to go further.
It’s natural, you’re not getting anyone/getting pregnant or getting STIs, it’s not harming anyone and most of all it feels amazing! Most people masturbate or have masturbated and if they the don’t then probably lying. I openly talk to one of my mates about wanking and sex. He’s normally open minded but wasn’t so keen when I suggested him getting a fleshlight as he hadn’t had sex for ages and missed the feeling. There’s also another mate that I would feel awkward discussing stuff like that so all depends on the person and making that judgement.