As The Soul Children once asked "Brothers and Brothers, I don't know what this world is coming to!"
Why is the best advice on male g spot divining coming from the fairer sex?
Isn't it about time that we became more knowledgeable about the contents of our fudge tunnels?
Back in the dark ages when I first started to venture downstairs with the ladies I had no idea how to pleasure a woman. I assumed that all that was required was some vigorous fingering till she said she had enough, looking back I realise this wasn't due to the fact that my sexual technique had bought her to the apex of an earth shattering orgasm, she was just concerned that the friction could potentially set her minge on fire.
Oral sex was no better until a frustrated partner kindly informed me to stop licking behind the curtains and showed me where the clitoris was. This was a relief, as up till then I believe I had been used as a quim cleaning service by my previous partners, my main duties seemed to be remove any bits of toilet paper from the Labium Minus.
In the pursuit of knowledge I have vigourously researched the internet on the male g spot (i.e I looked on the Cosmopolitan site). Apparently its the size of a walnut. Now I think its understandable that I had difficulties in locating the clitoris, its not where I thought it would be, and in all honesty I still don't understand why its located there. Also when my sexual explorations started pubic grooming was not common and a full on pelt was the norm, we are talking literal needle in a haystack.
I digress but we have established the g spot is the size of a walnut. Now I'm not an expert on walnuts, I've only ever eaten two in my life. The first one tasted okay but the second one was sour and it put me off for life. I do however know how big a walnut is. Its about the size of my bollocks on a cold day. If there is something the size of a walnut just past my rusty starfish shouldn't I be the first to know about it?
So my brothers we need to go on a drive of discovery up the Bourneville Boulevard. We need to be the ones getting the vigorous fingering from our loved ones, we need to be the ones saying "higher, lower, to the left to the right, yep thats the spot" whilst sporting a smug grin.
Its starts with us, tonight all brothers must slap on some utterly butterly and take some time to explore the tradesmans entrance. Knowledge is power, we might want to avoid shaking hands the next day, but thats a small price to pay.
The Campaign To Find The Walnut Sized Gland In The Man Purse or CTFTWSGITMP (an acronym thats rolls off the tongue like drool when you've been anaesthetised by the dentist ) starts today!
I have a range of t-shirts already printed with the nifty slogan ready to go, the font is understandably small.
Oh wow, way to gather the troops! Had me in stitches!! :L
Ozz and Echo32B (fantastic avatar by the way) I fail to see how a serious manifesto for a revolution can be regarded as entertainment.
When my brothers follow me on this road to discovery and ownership, and workplaces throughout the land are smelling a bit funky, we shall see who's laughing!
I advise you ladies to stock up on anti bacterial hand gel, febreeze and those plug in diffusers cos change is a coming!
As my man Chuck D once said "The greatest weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed" ... I iwill admit I havent a clue whats he's on about, but it sounds way cooler than him constantly asking Flava Flav what the f***ing time is.
Ozz and Echo32B (fantastic avatar by the way) I fail to see how a serious manifesto for a revolution can be regarded as entertainment.
When my brothers follow me on this road to discovery and ownership, and workplaces throughout the land are smelling a bit funky, we shall see who's laughing!
I advise you ladies to stock up on anti bacterial hand gel, febreeze and those plug in diffusers cos change is a coming!
As my man Chuck D once said "The greatest weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed" ... I iwill admit I havent a clue whats he's on about, but it sounds way cooler than him constantly asking Flava Flav what the f***ing time is.
Also gives a whole new meaning to kanye's gold digger lol.
Macspants sorry if i offended ya i wasnt 100%if you were being sarcastic or genuine .. i apologise :-)
Dont worry my Brother I'm not offended, just remember your finger of fun at bath time.
I am however 100% genuine, this campaign is the real deal. I'm seriously considering asking Jezza Corbyn to incorporate these ideals into his party manifesto.
Ladies don't be scared, you still have a place in this utopia of male bum fun. Do not be under the impression that your only role in the revolution will be to moan at man folk when they piss on the toilet seat. Once we have found our elusive p-spot you can tell us to pull our finger out, and literally mean it!
We will also get bored of the novelty and then it will be your chance to get your hands dirty, and again I literally mean it.
Mr black I assume you want the t-shirt? They are seven and twelvety pounds plus VAT, just let me know the size you require.
Macspants sorry if i offended ya i wasnt 100%if you were being sarcastic or genuine .. i apologise :-)
Dont worry my Brother I'm not offended, just remember your finger of fun at bath time.
I am however 100% genuine, this campaign is the real deal. I'm seriously considering asking Jezza Corbyn to incorporate these ideals into his party manifesto.
Ladies don't be scared, you still have a place in this utopia of male bum fun. Do not be under the impression that your only role in the revolution will be to moan at man folk when they piss on the toilet seat. Once we have found our elusive p-spot you can tell us to pull our finger out, and literally mean it!
We will also get bored of the novelty and then it will be your chance to get your hands dirty, and again I literally mean it.
Mr black I assume you want the t-shirt? They are seven and twelvety pounds plus VAT, just let me know the size you require.
Offend him " Mr macspants"!!! are you kidding! can I have a t shirt please? I've decided I'm going to call your lovely walnut shaped spot...the F spot..simply for funky! Yeah I'm old school.
Get in there and have a good old feel, you'll find it.
In the meantime macspants cover up for the love of god! I hot flush every time I see your avatar !!
I've tried to find the spot for the first time this week,I didn't know what to buy so got the little chrome bullet,never had one so tried it very funny sensation tried different settings for the first time a really enjoyed it,but going back to finding the g.spot,when I did come there was this sensation whether this was it I don't know,it makes a change to do something different, hope you find yours good luck.
So guys I'm biding my time Me and the mrs have spoke a lot about this and we are going to experiment this together at some point .. I never thought she would be willing to try this so I'm just waiting for her to give the nod ... we have both begun to play with each other in this area and have both unbelievably enjoyed stimulating each other orally for first times and both loved pleasing each other this way which before was a completely taboo area ... can't believe how much we are both opening up to each other in so many ways since finding love honey ....our lives honestly changed so much and for the better .. WOW!
Inside wall (towards your junk), 3 inches in give or take one, index (or middle or both) fingers are the best for searching. Lots of lube of course, make sure you're cleaned out first. Easiest position is any one where once your fingers go in, when you curl them up a little to stimulate what you find, you'll be curling them in to your prostate. You shoul have to go just beyond the 2nd knuckle, but if you don't, everyone's different. They say it's walnut sized, but you're only going to feel a bulge in your insides. It's sensitive enough to almost immediately know when you've hit it if you apply any pressure to it at all. Once you find it, it's easy going from there. Angle a toy against it, use your fingers, whatever. Just beware of mechanical prostate massagers over vibrating ones. They're tantric. it's time consuming and mental and you need a lot of patience and an open mind for it. They're not for beginners.