After orgasm, it can be a long time before I’m able to get hard and even longer before I can orgasm again.
My question(s) :
Is there a common term for referring to this cycle time?
What might be considered a “normal” amount of time
Anything can be done to help improve it? Diet, etc.? (mine has been pretty consistent my adult life, now 39)
My main concern is that orgasm becomes a stopping force for fun and so I spend conscious effort to delay it. Not a major problem but am interested to know more.
It’s known as the “refractory period”, I believe.
10-30mins is possibly (I seem remember from somewhere) about right for most guys.
It’s common to get a big hit of sleepy along with other endorphins after ejaculation.
I’ve been exploring for a while now the idea that orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing. Ejaculation follows orgasm. Orgasms energise the mind while ejaculation makes it sleepy.
Certain eastern teachings, namely Tantra and the Karma Sutra say that mind and body can be trained through practice to have multiple orgasms, while stopping short of ejaculation.
I’ve had limited experience of this personally, but I can see the potential!
@UnassumingDom something I do very often is as soon as you are about to orgasm take your hands off. You then stay hard and are able to orgasm again after a few seconds of no touching. It takes some time to get used to it but maybe something that would help with your situation.
There’s this idea in Tantra of solo “self cultivation”. Basically a combination of masturbation, breathing and meditation that helps to delay the “point of no return" (by edging essentially).
Once you master the basics, the aim is to experience the orgasm (or several!) without the ejaculation.
If the ejaculation happens around 100%, then orgasm usually kicks in around 97% or so, which is why the two are commonly seen as one and the same thing.
This is really interesting as my other half delays and often tells me to stop or slow down xxxx I have been thinking about doing some edging play with him to really figure out how to tell when he is getting too close as I can’t tell atm lol and get carried away with him xx
Generally it is both orgasm and ejaculation and therefore sleep time after lol xxxx but then I am the same once I have cum too
@Bex84 that`s why i keep myself occupied working on my OH, it stops me dropping off! I play Candy Crush whilst watching tv at night to stop me dropping off, but i doubt it would go down to well whilst having sex!
One book that’s definitely worth checking out is “The Multi-Orgasmic Couple” by Mantak Chia.
I couldn’t find it on Lovehoney but it’s one that should be on their shelves IMHO.
Haha love that and yes usually he tries to focus on what he is doing to me which I think helps him but he gets a little annoyed sometimes if I take him too far xxxx
We have also started extending our sessions by starting in the afternoon with some teasing and touching and kissing, then when he has got me worked up he tells me that’s all I am getting for now lol and he goes off to do something else lol xxx that happens on and off all afternoon till the evening
I have had the experience many times of dry orgasms, I don’t ejaculate but fell like I have had an orgasm. I can then continue on for over an hour.
How I do it:
When I am getting very close we stop, I can feel it throbbing as if it is ready to explode and I concentrate on stopping it, if successful I feel like I have had an Orgasm but with no side effects of ejaculation, no going soft etc… I am able to continue on straight away and will out last my OH, she could have several orgasms before I will ejaculate.
Thanks for all the really useful replies, thank you Lots of further reading and practice to be done. I’m defo slower than average, can be wellover an hour before orgasm is possible again and if it does happen can then put me out for the rest of the day.
I think I’ve accidentally “edged”(?) recently and it was really great so excited to try again.
Youth!
(probably not the most useful reply - sorry )
Fun fact (?) : In the original ‘Jaws’ novel, the young guy powers through the first climax to ‘cum again’ in the same session which inspired me to do the same on occasion - but not in recent memory )
My Husband doesn’t believe me that he isn’t “normal” he doesn’t go soft after he cums. He can feel too sensitive to carry on for a few minutes after but he doesn’t loose his erection.
Edging will prolong the enjoyment till you finally decide or are allowed to come.
Ruined orgasms allow you to ejaculate but remain hard.
I’m in a Chastity relationship at the moment so it can be many days between orgasms but I tease and denial leaves me just as happy as I was before starting the Chastity play.
I thought that the orgasm followed ejaculation, hence the ability to ejaculate and not orgasm (as described by Rockstar “ruined orgasm”)?
My orgasm usually signals the end of sex, but as our sessions have become much more focussed on Mrs Sen’s pleasure, PIV and orgasm is only about once a week and she is happy for that. We have had a few occasions where we have continued afterwards, but that is on one of our all day play sessions, I’d say its about 30-60 minutes or so for erection again (I’m late 40s)
xx
xxxx but then I am the same once I have cum too
Lots of further reading and practice to be done. I’m defo slower than average, can be wellover an hour before orgasm is possible again and if it does happen can then put me out for the rest of the day.