For the few who know me, you may have noticed I have not been active on here for a while. Over the past 2 years I have been dealing with some severe and long term mental health issues. It has led to some quite debilitating and permanently life altering complications for me, with anxiety and chronic depression alongside with PTSD from the trauma. This continues to effect both my personal and professional life and I have become extremely unstable over the 8 months to the extent of ending it.
It has also caused significant sexual trauma for me which is one of many different reasons why I have decided to remain single and celibate for the rest of my life.
before anyone says anything professional services has not helped and has done very little for me at improving the situation. I have decided not to take medication for both safety and legal reasons, as it would effectively prevent me from doing my job indefinitely, and if it does come to that I fear I will no longer have any confidence in myself to stay safe.
Now to make matters even worse I am currently in the middle of being diagnosed with thyroid cancer, which will result in me losing half if not my entire thyroid, and if that is the case I will have to be on hormone medication for the rest of my life. Not to mention having to go on radioactive iodine or chemo after surgery if its the bad kind.
I truly don’t know what the future holds for me but I am up to strike 20 on my bad luck list all withing the last 2 years. I just want this to stop and for my luck to turn around.
Wow. You’ve been through it, and still are. I’m so sorry. I think for most of us, not knowing the future is a blessing, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that. And from experience, episodes of crap bad luck don’t last. Eventually the dice roll in your favour. I’m not making light of the pain your going through and have in the near future, but don’t write yourself off.
I don’t know where you’re from but if you’ve heard of Simon Weston you’ll know that after the Falklands he was a mess mentally. But he kept himself open to opportunities and met Lucy, a school friend of my sister. By all accounts she’s an absolute angel and he couldn’t of found a more perfect soulmate. You couldn’t plan or expect something like that so don’t deny yourself the chance. Make your own luck.
First of all, big hugs to you @jn45746. I can relate to a lot of what you mentioned, I’m sure many of us can. It’s not easy to talk about, so i’m really glad you have , I think that’s the first step in coping with things like this.
Also, bad stuff always comes in batches, I’m in a family which is just full of drama and disease all the time, I come on here to get the hell away from it!, we spend more time at the chemo ward than anywhere else So can totally relate to that as well.
My first thought would be do not reject professional help. I know it is very hard with the current state of the NHS, but even if you can’t get it through consultants, the GP should be able to refer you onto charities. Also, you mentioned medication affecting your job. Is it because you’re worried about the medication making you drowsy? A lot of MEDS do this, but if you start on a lower dose and gradually buildup, they should be less noticeable, and the effects usually weaken. I’ve been on shed loads of MEDS at a time so I can attest to that.
So I would persevere with that, ask your doctor as well if one doesn’t agree with you if you can try another one.
Also, you mentioned the thyroid cancer, you are in the middle of being diagnosed for it. Does this mean you have officially been diagnosed with it? Or have they biopsied it and are you waiting for results? Sorry if it sounds nosy.
my best advice would be to take each day as it comes, sufficient for each day is its own anxieties. There are a lot of amazing therapies for cancer and my own sister has been fighting a very aggressive cancer for 10 years and was given a very poor prognosis at first, although she’s took a bad turn recently she has managed to soldier on with rescue from the good old NHS so there is a lot of positives out there. X
I’ve a friend who’s in similar situations as you and has repeatedly been failed by medical services even after he’s been deemed a danger to his own life… doubt there’s any words that can give comfort so I’ll just send you a big warm hug and hope things start changing for the better
, I think that’s the first step in coping with things like this.
So can totally relate to that as well.