Hi
Im new to all this, im a mid 40s happley married man who was brought up with sex as a taboo subject so not been very open about talking about sex and things id like to do.
Me and my wife have started being a bit more open and have now got a couple of toys, but im still nervus about suggesting some things just incase she says no.
Ive been trying things out by myself and want to share this with my wife but dont know how
Hello and welcome,
Communication is fundamental in a relationship, and really, if you don’t start now, sooner or later you will get to a point where things are so intense that they will become overwhelming if you don’t communicate. The sooner you start, the easier it gets. Before you know it, you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.
If face to face conversation is difficult to start with, how about writing her a letter?
Hi i did think about sending things in a message
I just worry she will wonder why all of a sudden after all these years(around 20 years) i have these ideas/feelings
She knows sex for you was a taboo subject? If you’ve been taught that talking about sex is “bad”, opening up can be very hard to do.
I was raised similarly — I was taught that women who enjoy sex are “sluts”, and “ladies don’t enjoy sex”. So, when I did like sex, I thought the worst of myself. Now I realise I’m not the problem; my upbringing is the problem.
We have been married for nearly 40 years and we are still trying new things, like we have booked a sex dungeon for our 40th wedding anniversary, we have used toys in the last year or so (never used them before) and got more into spanking and bdsm. We communicate about what we like or dont like. If she says no to something then she says no but she might say yes.
If you haven’t already done this, try to talk to her about how you were bought up and why you have found it difficult to talk openly about sex up to this point. Explain that you want to try to be more open and discuss what you would both like to try but tell her that you’re anxious about it. I would start there and then move on to more specific things after that.
If you’re really worried about her saying no, there are some questionnaires / apps which can help with this. Both of you complete a questionnaire which asks you to say yes definitely, maybe, or definitely not, to a list of foreplay, sex and kink activities. The app then shares with both of you a list of things that you both said yes or maybe to. That way neither of you know which ones you disagreed on. I don’t remember the name of these but hopefully someone will!
Welcome to the forum
Welcome to the forum. This can be a good place to get ideas, and questions answered. I wish you the best.
Hi and welcome to the forum
How about when a lovehoney advert comes on the TV mentioning that you two could have a look on line together to see what else is out there and available to you both.seeing as you have got a couple of toys already it may be a way of bringing it up almost accidently as the advert suddenly reminded you.small steps I think to begin with
Welcome to the forum mr! Why not try to just slip things into your sex sessions with her gradually and see how it goes?
Welcome to the forum @0001
@0001 Welcome to the forum. You’ve gotten some good advise. Hope it works out for you both.
Make suggestions and the worst she can do is say no.
One thing that helped me a little when “exploring” and trying to say things I’ve never said aloud before to my wife is something I saw in Sex Education.
Face away from them and say what you want to say. They’ll still hear it but you avoid the face to face possible embarrassment. Then build up to saying what you want during “regular” sex, even if you’re not going to do it right then.
Then I find you’ll have a rough plan for future sessions.
After being here with us for a while you will realize you are a very normal person!
Hi and welcome @0001 
Hey @0001, welcome to the forum 
Hello and welcome to the forum.
You shouldn’t be afraid of her saying no, that is her right and as with most things in life, you won’t agree on everything.
But this fear of her saying no, is also preventing her from having the opportunity to say yes.
As you mention in your post, the door is open and you are starting to introduce toys into your relationship so browse the LH website together and pick your next toy together, there is a whole world of toys to explore.
Hello and Welcome to the Forum
Communication is key but it can be done several ways, writing a romantic letter or romantic storie involving you and your wife and including the toys as part of the story.