The safest way to protect yourself from STI’s when having sex is a condom. I prefer sex without a condom, it’s just better for me.
When ‘you’ get a new partner how do you make the transition from condomed sex to not condomed sex? When I started with my last last long term partner, over 12 years ago I told him I wanted the both of us to go for an STI test before I would agree to condom free sex.
Was I being overly cautious? Is that what other people do? I know you can’t see if somebody has many STI’s I just wondered what everybody else is up to in this area.
No you were in every right to ask for a STI test! I had the same done for me and my partner. Its less awkward asking for a test than coming back from the doctors and trying to explain that one has given the other something. So yea you done the right thing. <3 x
If the thought has even crossed your mind, then it's something you need to do. It's better to be safe then sorry, and if he refuses, is he really the guy you want to be with? I would definitely suggest you both get tested. Good luck :)
I was very silly and didn't do anything to protect myself, I'd had a test before for other reasons but just accepted that he was safe, it wasn't the best thing to do I guess. Do you think we should go get tested now just in case? I know not everything shows up. I think I should talk to him tonight about it we've been together nine months, I don't know
The safest way to protect yourself from STI’s when having sex is a condom. I prefer sex without a condom, it’s just better for me.
When ‘you’ get a new partner how do you make the transition from condomed sex to not condomed sex? When I started with my last last long term partner, over 12 years ago I told him I wanted the both of us to go for an STI test before I would agree to condom free sex.
Was I being overly cautious? Is that what other people do? I know you can’t see if somebody has many STI’s I just wondered what everybody else is up to in this area.
Thanks, kitty x
I don't think you was being overly cautious at all, it's a good thing to want this before having unprotected sex with someone. I want the same thing too, If I have sex without a condom with someone then it's a matter that we have both have STI/STD checks. I have a test after every partner I've slept with and I also have one before sleeping with a new partner (So you could say I'm overly cautious) however I won't demand someone have an STI check without me getting on too. In fact I'm rather terrible I insisted my current OH also get one too - And well he was a virgin haha!
I personally think it's something more and more people should do, as getting this checks on a regular basis will keep you, and your partner healthy. And if prevention comes early then it would stop them being spread around to much.
Very wise. My previous girlfriend suggested we both get tested before abandoning condoms - she was having to re-start the pill as well so it was sensible on two fronts - but human nature being what it is while we were sensible on the front, we were not on the back or top, so to speak!
I did exactly the same when I moved to condom-free sex with any long term partners. I'd ask them to get tested, as would I and then voila. It worked out fine for two of my long term relationships
However, make sure you trust your partner to tell you the truth. I learnt a very hard lesson back when I was 19, trusting the guy I was with at the time to get tested. He booked an appointment with me there and was away at the right time, then came back to be a week or so later saying all was fine. As it turned out, not only had he lied to me about being tested, he was also sleeping around (with a number of women) and I caught an STD. Luckily and thankfully it was treatable with antibiotics, but I felt so humiliated and ashamed. Especially when I thought I was being grown up and smart and taking control of my sexual health....to be lied to. Erghh!
Anyway, the point is, not everyone is as honest as you'd hope they would be. :S (and that really sucks) but I think asking them to get tested is a really positive thing to do and not only shows you care about yourself, but your partners.....which brings me onto the next point....
If a guy or girl ever scoffs or mocks you, or kicks off and accuses you of saying they have an STD (happened to me once!)....run away at that point. If they cannot be mature enough to care, then imagine how much they will care about you and your body and safety?
Oh no Fluffs!! What an A-Hole!! I ask to see the letter with the results on it haha! And give them mine. It's like the relationsips first present. Here have this declaration of my Sexual health!
Oh no Fluffs!! What an A-Hole!! I ask to see the letter with the results on it haha! And give them mine. It's like the relationsips first present. Here have this declaration of my Sexual health!
And this is is what I learned from my first experience too! Always see proof! lol It might sound awfully mistrusting but....its your health!
Plus, you can always talk it over like...heres my letter...did you get yours? rather than "SO!?!?!?! WHERE IS IT!!" lol
We spoke about thus last night, my partners much older than me and I simply trusted him to be mature enough to look after his health, I was right, he was tested in his relTionship previous, not the way you guys did it, he was accused of giving her something by cheating. We've been together nine months and were both on the same page in terms of this is a long term relationship so I trust him
I don't know if I was being overly cautious but I have made all my partners get tested purely because of the age I am ( a lot of boys being boys, if you will) I am glad I did though for peace of mind. Some STI's have little to no symptoms so could be in your system years without you knowing and further down the line it may stop you having children. Always be cautious x
Interesting to read how people deal with this issue , I'm 36 been with my wife 16 years and she is my 6th sexual partner , of the other 5 partners 3 were virgins , and the other 2 were when we were in 5th year seniors, my wife was also a virgin and I am her only sexual partner.I've never had an sti/std in my life as you can probably imagine from the stats lol, but all of them were longish term girlfriends, I've never actually had a one night stand ever .I would be totally freaked out at the thought of having to find a new sexual partner and having to deal with said condom issue.hope I never have to.
HPV is a common STD....actually it is so common that most sexually active people will get at least one strain of the virus within their lifetimes, but only a few of the 100+ strains cause visible outbreaks of warts on the genitals and even the ones that do can lie dormant in your system for years before you get an outbreak. That means lots of people can have it and spread it without even knowing they have it, because they don't develop signs or symptoms. A condom is no guarantee against HPV, because it is transmitted through skin to skin contact, rather than through body fluids. For most people who catch it (about 90%) our immune system will clear the virus on its own (So it is not always, or even often a case that once you have it, you have it for life)
In most cases, it is nothing to worry about (It won't do any damage to you) but there are a few strains that can increase the risk of cervical cancer (apparently about 70% of cervical cancers are caused by it and this is the reason we have smears when we are sexually active)
Roughly 79 million Americans are infected now, with 14 million new people becoming infected each year. It is the most common STD.
However, it is often not tested for, because it is so common, no treatment for it, it often goes away on its own, there is over 100 strains and is not generally dangerous to health, it is very hard to protect against and I am not sure but, it might not be detectable in all dormant or new cases (not sure on the last one)...but yeah, I believe it is only tested for if you ask specifically, because they expect most people have it.
*The above information I pulled from the internet from a trusted source. I wanted to be accurate*
My opinion: It's nothing to be ashamed about and nothing to worry about and you are not alone if you have it or catch it.
Some ways to avoid is to keep barriers between skin to skin contact always, so gloves, dental dams and basically always a barrier between skin to skin contact, which I know not many people have sex that way! lol