Ive noticed a trend on the forums lately that I gotta say, is starting to annoy me just a little. Here's my question. When someone is introducing themselves on the forum is it really necessary to tell them to read the rules. The forum rules take pride of place at the very top and surely it's better to assume that new members are decent intelligent people. If someone is out to cause mischief/offence they'll do it regardless of the rules. Any inappropriate behaviour is usually dealt with speedily by the moderators.
I don't think I would have hung around if someone was telling me to read the rules within a few minutes of introducing myself. Has anyone any thoughts on this? Am I easily annoyed, or do you agree with me?
Personally i see it more just a friendly reminder, in the short while i've been here i've seen a few rule breaking first posts, evidently some people don't read them before posting, or they possibly missed the link in their haste to post. Plus i've only ever seen it written in a friendly way, with "if you haven't already" in there, its not something i saw as offensive on my introduction board, more just a friendly bit of advice along with the welome.
I don't find it offensive just unnecessary. I'd prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. If they step out of line then maybe a gentle nudge to the top of the forum would suffice.
I think if you are used to using forums, then maybe it seems unecessary, but not everyone knows how forums work. They might not instantly be drawn to clickin on the forum rules, as they may not know there are any. So I think a gentle nudge in the right direction doesn't do any harm.
If I was new and completely clueless, I'd rather be given a friendly reminder to view the rules, so I got to see them, rather than missing them and possibly being reprimanded or removed for something I could have avoided doing.
I think the nature of this forum can easily be miscontrued by new people as well. So I think the rules apply more so here than other forums I am a memeber of.
Plus like VA says above, it's always seemed friendly to me. Even when people have really stepped over the mark, people have always been polite about saying they're not behaving appropriately.
I actually think this is one of the nicest, most welcoming forums I've been on and I've been on quite a lot.
I think it's useful. Not everyone reads the rules when they first sign up, I didn't! But the friendly reminder and easy links to follow is very handy for a lot of people and makes sure that the person is 100% aware that there's rules we all must follow.
I'm probably the only person to agree with you then I guess! It comes across as quite patronising to me and does really annoy me. One of the reasons I never bothered with a post introducing myself.
I will also agree with you. If it was moderators posting it is one thing since it's their "job" but seems a bit unnecessary to point it out in the first few replies someone gets.
Sometimes, although it is entirely not meant that way *, the rules-info can seem a little like a rebuke. Mostly, i think of it as functioning as a signpost for someone to find the information if so inclined. Those who habitually use PCs or laptops may find that odd, but on various phones the links and options are often more difficult to see/locate/use.
* (Sometimes of course, such a post might appear as a corrective to something problematic from a 'newbie'.)
Also annoys me when someone says about reading the rules and then there's about 3 or 4 other people that think it's necessary to also tell them to read the rules! Aaahhhhhh! Leave the moderating type posts to the people that actually work for Lovehoney!
I enjoy the forums. Admittedly, I don't spend too much time on them. But like littlebox said it can seem a little patronising. The site is well moderated and I don't think there's a need for anyone else to be casting a benevolent eye over new comers.
I have to say I can see where everyone is coming from here.
Although it is important to guide newbies to the rules and I do think that doing this in their 'Introduce Yourself' threads is an excellent way of doing this, I can see why some people are getting a little frustrated. Particularly when we have 3 or 4 people guiding one person to the rules in one thread. It's repetitive, redundant and does nothing more than increase your number of posts. It can also be a little insensitive if the newbie has come in with a problem and all they've received is a ton of links to rules. I've had some instances where new members have been really worried that they've broken the rules in their first post because they've been inundated with 'check out the rules' posts.
From now on I'd like to suggest the following: if you want to link someone to the rules, please check that it hasn't already been done by another member. If someone else has already beaten you to it, then just say 'Hi' or perhaps guide them to something else, like the buyers guides, a relevant thread (if they've also included a question in their introduction) or our blog competitions :)
The help you regulars give me with this sort of thing is great, so please don't mis-read this as me being unappreciative. Please do keep up the awesome work you do helping me to keep this a friendly open place - just be mindful of when and how you do it.
I can see both sides. I never looked at the rules or the FAQ when I joined. That's something I did over the first couple of weeks of being a forum member. But no one here ever does it in a 'LOOK AT THE RULES' way - it's always very friendly. I think people are just making too big a deal about this. I agree that people should check before they post to ensure it's not repeated three or four times - but also, we can be a bit more pro-active and if after we submit a post, we see someone has also replied before us - we can still edit our posts to remove those duplicated links.
I'm new here and I had a gentle reminder to read the rules which I'd already done but that's only because I'm on a few other forums and so I know forum etiquette . If this was my first forum then I might have come in gung ho waving my arms and breaking the rules and I've seen a few people doing this on all forums.
As others have seen I can see both sides of it. But it's always been done in a friendly way (atleast when I've seen it) I don't think it's meant to be rude or meaning that someone hasn't read them.
I think with a lot of forums people generally don't read the rules, and on here because it's a forum thats linked to sex, sextoys and underwear some people (Not all) will think whay a forum to sit there, discuss sex, get my rocks off. Proposition people and send people to see my nude pics. Because in all honesty that's what some people will come to the forums wih the intention of doing. I've always just took the if you haven't already please do so meassage as informative before they say something and have everyone jump on them for breaking the rules.
If I posted an introduction thread and everyone was like OI READ THE RULES LOOK AT THEM NOW, then yeah I'd been a little peeved. But 'If you've not already then check out the forum rules' that doesn't really bother me as I know and can tell it's not done in a Do this now way.
David, thats not fair. I never called any one a nazi. I think its obvious from this thread that what some find helpful others consider over bearing.
Jess added a fairly comprehensive post and didn't take exception to the threads title. I did not set out to insult, just get peoples opinions. I think I've managed to do that.
I'm with not linking them to the rules as soon as they introduce themselves. Most rules seem idiomatic anyway. People who do come here to cause trouble aren't going to care what the rules say anyway.
I'm with not linking them to the rules as soon as they introduce themselves. Most rules seem idiomatic anyway. People who do come here to cause trouble aren't going to care what the rules say anyway.
I agree that this would apply to some people (trolls) who just want to cause a nightmare, but to be honest the vast majority of 'rule breakers' genuinely don't realise they're doing anything wrong and are very apologetic when they get an email from 'Bot'.
The good thing about rules is that actually trolls *do* care about rules. They want to know exaclty how to press everyones buttons so go about breaking the rules as often (and as subtly) as they can. But we see everything which goes on here, and having rules makes it very easy for us to weed out the trolls quickly and keep this a nice place to be :)