My experience with a fleshlight:

Two hours and still going on. That means I haven't reached orgasm. XP Thought I'd share that with you. Just shows how much I've messed up my own penis. Here's hoping that I gradually become increasingly sensitive to it. I have reached orgasm with it before, but right now it's just not happening... :P

You mean not masturbate for a while?

Yeah, I got there in three hours, but had to cheat. I probably will do that. Thanks for the tip!

Yeah, I found that you couldn't get the pressure quite right - too firm for the surface sensations, too soft for the deeper pressure.

An idea I had (although totally likely to break the insert and so far untested!) was putting a few strategically-placed rubber bands around the narrow section of the insert.

Good luck with the sensitivity issues...


Fleshlight do two new products now with a soft outer case that can be squeezed to apply pressure, called the Blade and the Sword. These may interest you guys, but I don't think they're for sale here yet, so you'd either need to wait or check them out on the Fleshlight website.

I have seen them on the website. It's rather have the original though. All in preperation for when and if I get a girlfriend and it becomes mutual... because I'd be there for hours, and that would be boring... supposed to gain sensitivity while using a fleshlight, but I wouldn't know. Wouldn't affect whether I'd buy it or not if it didn't - but I am hoping I can gain sensitivity as masturbation is becoming quite a bit of a stress for me...

I know the Fleshlight didn't do it for my hubby, he found the material too soft so it didn't give much of a sensation. Plus he also thought the lube that came with it wasn't right for him, he found Pjur waterbased lube much better. He prefers the Tenga Fliphole (I think it's that version anyway).

If you keep going with the Fleshlight, that should help your sensitivity GNM. Dan Savage has some good advice about what he calls "death grip masturbation", I've included a couple of links below... but the gist of it is "stop", lol. Discipline yourself to use the Fleshlight instead and you'll have a better appreciation of the real thing when you get your hands on it ;)

Wow. Wow. Thanks for that. I am actually insanely glad I had a look at sex toys and stumbled across Lovehoney. I'd be completely bust in years to come as I am right now...

I have been gripping gradually tighter as the years have gone by, which I realise, and what I do to actually be able to feel the pleasurable sensation. I didn't know it'd cause my penis to go bust like that. It is worrying now that I'm in that state and how I'd be in a relationship, not being able to reach orgasm. That'd mess me up big time. It really would.

The amount of lube I've been using is worrying in itself, since I though a single squirt would be good enough. But no, I needed like ten and possibly more. I didn't count...

Thanks for the information: I'll seriously take it on board and try to stop with the death grip. ?

Don't fret too much, you're still young right? I gather you've just started uni, so what, 18/19/20? At that rate you've probably only been masturbating that way for 10 years max probably, compare that to the years of masturbation you have ahead of you and you've only just started ;)

Think of it as training to become a total sex god... with any luck you'll increase your sensitivity and your stamina :P

Lol, I know. It's not quite as bad as I think. I do feel some sensation at the right angle and at the right place when using a fleshlight. It's just the fact it's taken me forever - if I didn't use my hands, that is - which worries me as it'd seriously knock my confidence even if I can make a woman reach orgasm multiple times.

Thanks for sharing the info because I think you just practically saved me from that situation where I don't bother using the fleshlight due to the fact it does take forever...

I'm 18 by the way, and I think I started masturbating when I was 11/12ish.

My partner (and Dom) didn't come during sex at all during the first month of our relationship... for him, it wasn't a sensitivity thing but a confidence thing as you mentioned.

He tells me now that it really stressed him out and he worried a lot about it, but in hindsight it gave us a chance to really discover eachothers likes & dislikes, take our time with sex, and explore eachother. Also, hours of seemingly endless sex? I was not complaining!

Obviously it's not the ideal... but even the worst-case scenario has its upsides! Keep "practicing" with the Fleshlight and things will be fine :)

Thank you. I guess climax isn't the same for women as it is for men, since women can practically go on forever, but that's something I don't want to happen. It would definately knock down my confidence, as I've said, and that's something I don't want to put into a relationship.

From my experience, its almost definitely a case of too much hand-use.

I'm the same really. I struggle to orgasm if I used my hands within the last week. And yeah, If you cant climax with her, pretend its part of what you do. Add foreplay during sex if it takes too long.

I was going to link the Dan Savage advice, but Shellyboo already did. You can retrain your penis - you trained it to like the death grip, didn't you? This is totally doable.

I'd suggest getting a bullet vibe and playing with it around your dick, testicles, perineum, anus (though don't insert a bullet!). And guess what - there's an entire body attached to your genitals! Try exploring your inner thighs, nipples, earlobes. Take some time to really get to know your body. Make love to yourself. You can experiment with prostate stimulation with a finger or prostate massager. Spend a long time doing this, maybe with your favourite porn on, or fantasies going in your mind. After you've really worked yourself up, then start using the Fleshlight.

Don't beat yourself, or your dick, up over this. It happened, but you didn't break yourself. You aren't ruined. Your dick has given you many orgasms in the past and will give you many more, and your future girlfriend will absolutely love that you have stamina. Good luck!

Thanks. I haven't as of yet got anything that vibrates... other than my phone... I could give a bullet vibrator a go, as I tend to associate it with a women only toy. There is a Rocks Off Cheeky Boy which I want to buy. That has a bullet vibrator with it... depending on how strong and quiet it is...

I can give it a shot anyway and see how it is. First, I need to save up...

Seriously don't underestimate the nipples. I found out just how amazing they can be after not being able to jerk off for four days due to visiting a mate. I nearly orgasms just from playing with them when I got home.

I didn't get on with the fleshlight I bought. I had the standard size and it just didn't have enough tightness for me to get a decent orgasm out of it.

I've since learned that it doesn't really matter how you derive pleasure so long as you Are recieving pleasure. Mindset is incredibly important also. If you spend your time thinking "Dam I still haven't come, hurry uuuup" it will take longer. Sit back and enjoy the sensations.

Ginger Ninja Minge wrote:

There is a Rocks Off Cheeky Boy which I want to buy. That has a bullet vibrator with it... depending on how strong and quiet it is...

I have a Bad Boy from Rocks Off, and I never got much out of it, either as a prostate massager, or by removing the bullet vibe and using it elsewhere on my body. =/

Pixieking wrote:

Seriously don't underestimate the nipples. I found out just how amazing they can be after not being able to jerk off for four days due to visiting a mate. I nearly orgasmed just from playing with them when I got home.

Wow, I wish my nipples were like that, they're dead as a doornail. I've considered getting them pierced just to find some sensitivity there.

That's the weird thing, mine aren't particularly sensitive either. It was more the time i spent on them than their inherent sensitivity. Don't dismiss them just yet. Have a good go on them and see where you get. =)

Grrr. Don't really know what to do now. I have read that the Rocks Off prostate massagers don't quite 'fit' and so leaves no satisfaction... But I guess with the return policy, I could give it a try at least. Though I don't know how to go about returning stuff if I have to... I'll probably get a bullet vibrator fist and give that a try, and stock up on lube at the same time.

Excuse the double post, but I just saw this rechargable vibrator.

Has anyone used it, as it would be good if I can save on not having to use batteries that I have to replace... I assume the solar panel can use light from any lightbulb...