My first experience of male chastity (CB-3000)

Sex Toys
1

This review is first and foremost about the concept of male chastity. If you are just interested in my experiences of this product, please skip to the relevant paragraphs.

I have to say that I am not someone who has bought a lot of sex products. My first purchase six months ago was a small glass dildo for my long-term girlfriend when I was on a trip to the Netherlands. You would probably describe my sex life as "vanilla".

So it was with surprise that I found myself getting sucked into the strange world of male chastity. The ostensible reason for this was that I found myself the subject of a fair amount of "extra-curricular" sexual attention from several females this year, which naturally caused a certain amount of internal conflict. Let's face it, even the most dedicated lover in a long term relationship will be tempted from time to time. I have always tended towards monogamy, but the question is: what actually constitutes an act of infidelity? Is it only penetrative sex that counts? Or is petting to orgasm just as bad?What about phone sex? Thinking about another woman while masturbating?

It seemed to me that the key lay in being able to distinguish between will and desire. You obviously cannot deny being attracted to someone, but you can subsume it within an act of will. But according to what criteria?

It was in search of a hard and fast answer to this question that I stumbled upon male chastity and I have to say that it has been a most interesting and highly recommended journey! My first act was to phone my girlfriend and inform her that I had been less than 100% frank in my reports of my dealings with other members of the fairer sex. In fact, I had cheated. Not only that, but I had caught myself actively considering doing it again!

Our relationship was therefore in crisis but, as I told her, I had had an idea for a means of curing my cheating ways. I had discovered something MUCH sexier than sleeping around: I wanted her to take possession of my cock as her own personal property, to become my "keyholder". Needless to say, she wasn't immediately thrilled, indeed she later told me that she wondered whether I had lost my mind. However, she wasn't going to give up without a fight and I could tell that she was beginning to see a glimmer of interest in the whole sordid situation.

I wasted no time and ordered a CB-3000, a book entitled Male Chastity: a Guide for Keyholders and some other items with which to ensure her continuing satisfaction should she decide that I need a longer period of correction...

The time came for me to pay her a visit and, let me tell you, brothers, there was a fair amount of emotional stuff to get through before the fun started. For one thing, it seemed important to be much more honest than usual so there was a lot of disclosure, a lot of extra empathizing. But don't get me wrong, this was a necessary step - no doubting it.

Finally, she indicated her willingness to start playing the cruel but surprisingly tender role of keyholder to my chastity. First she ordered me to strip and tied me to the bed. Then, leaving me to shiver in the cold room she disappeared to change into something more comfortable... I could tell by now that she was enjoying the role as she alternated between revving me up and bringing me back down. She seemed in no hurry. Finally, after asking me once more if I was sure I wanted to go ahead, the time came for fitting my CB-3000.

I have to make two complaints here. There are no fitting instructions and it really makes a difference if the cock sits properly in it's bulbous plastic shell. This is nigh impossible for beginners, especially since one is naturally in a high state of arousal (albeit tinged with fear). Mastering (should that be "mistressing"?) the much discussed "stocking method" (whereby a tube of thin sheer material such as comprises a ladies' tights is threaded through the pee aperture from the outside and used to draw the recalcitrant cock in after it) would avoid a lot of unnecessary discomfort at this stage.

Having said that, the moment when the lock snaps shut is unforgettably thrilling. I defy any woman to get to this stage and not start to enjoy herself. As for the man, well I'm not sure I would have really "got" the concept until fairly recently. Maybe you have to have been around the block a few times first...

The key concept is, of course, for the man's orgasm to be denied, theoretically ad infinitum. In the meantime, while awaiting his keyholder's pleasure, he can be making himself useful. My girlfriend helpfully left some massage oil next to the bed. If you're stuck for ideas you can always ask...

It's a little too early to say whether the CB-3000 has saved our relationship. It may indeed be a passing fad. However, it is certainly far and away the sexiest new "thing" we have tried. I wouldn't recommend wearing it for weeks on end, though some apparently do. However, when it is sitting correctly it is quite comfortable and unobtrusive. You get a nice feeling of returning pressure, limiting your ability to get hard.

I see it as a fun toy but also as a training device. The ultimate aim would be for her to have total control of when, and if, you come, irrespective of whether you are wearing the device or not. A skilled horsewoman can ride her well-trained mount with neither saddle nor bridle, but these items are necessary for "breaking-in" a frisky colt.

In conclusion, male chastity is about much more than kinky play - though it is that too. It is very liberating because, after all, what mature man still wishes to engage in haphazard "cock-led behaviour"? Get your wife or girlfriend to take that on board and I promise you will see the benefit in your relationships with other women and your general enjoyment of life!

2

Hiya and welcome timetraveler, not a subject l ever recall being touched on in these forums. It will be interesting to see what reactions the campers have to it. Not sure my relationship has been in that much "trouble" yet.

TB

3

Actually, I wouldn't recommend chastity play for troubled relationships at all. In my opinion, chastity play is likely to amplify any existing trouble. It's not like there is any sex toy out there which is designed to resolve relationship issues. Chastity devices are no exception. I won't participate in chastity play at all if there is any existing tension between myself and my partner. It just isn't any fun for me that way.

My experience of male chastity is that chastity play is a really fun way to add intimacy to a relationship which already is functioning well.

I've written a wee bit about this topic, for anybody who's interested:

http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/dim-sum/#Chastity

Best regards,

Lubyanka.

4

Swings and roundabouts I suppose- if you can find something that works for your relationship then thats great, regardless of if it'd work for other people. I can't say I'd be interested practising in male chastity with the bloke (cos it automatically leads to female chastity too if she can't get it from you! lol) but its interesting to hear about.

Hope your relationship survives and you learn to stop sticking your pen in strange inks for both your sakes!

5

Actually, male chastity in a power exchange context does not at all mean the woman must also be chaste. Heheheh, I'd hardly do it if it did! For me, anyhow, chastity play is about orgasm control, not about prevention of all erotic play. I decide how, when, or whether my partner is allowed to orgasm.

In my case, my partner services me whenever I want, however I want. That can include penetration on either side, including his penis in my vagina. With us, the idea is that I decide whether my partner is allowed an orgasm or not. My orgasms do not depend on his. I can have as many or as few as I choose, or none at all, if I choose.

For us, chastity play does not reduce erotic intimacy between us, it actually adds to it.

One noteworthy side effect of this after practicing it for some time, is that my male partner now experiences a refractory period after my orgasm, which is really interesting to me. :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refractory_period_(sex)

6

I assumed that timetraveller was using it as a total sex prevention thing, hence my assumption of the no sex for the lady either thing lol. Makes more sense now. Cheers lubyanka.

Its not something I've looked into, except after glancing across the devices and the bloke wanting to know if you could wee with one on, or if you'd break yourself when errect (which we know the answers to now lol).

7

Heh, my pleasure, Crayola. I love sharing the knowledge. :)

I think I understand your bewilderment about this kink, because I felt the same way before I tried it. I didn't think the idea was at all sexy - I assumed that male chastity was all about some kinky guy with a chastity fetish pretending to sacrifice something "for her", when the whole time he was really just trying to get "her" to focus more on him and his penis. I suppose that for some people, it might be like that. I was willing to give it a go because I'd been with my partner for a year before he mentioned it, and by that point I trusted and valued him and thought this might be fun and beneficial. His masturbation was never a problem for me, but sometimes it was a problem for him. He spent a really large amount of time doing it, and as a result he didn't have enough time to do other things which needed doing. So I agreed with him that chastity might be a way to help sort that out.

We began practicing orgasm control before we ever got a device. That was hot and fun for both of us, and it did help him with his time management, so I agreed to try a device with him. And even then it was ages before we actually got round to giving it a go. I did a bunch of research, we bought a device, figured out how to use it, messed around with the fit and with gradually extended periods of wear

The funny thing was, even though just like you I wasn't really interested in it, when I finally did try it, I was absolutely astonished at how hot it was, and how much I enjoyed it, and how turned on I got. I bugged the crap out of him asking him to show me himself in his device like every other minute! He suggested taking photos, which he usually hates posing for, and the whole thing just turned out to be so amazing for both of us.

Of course there have been some hiccups and difficulties with the device itself, it's really not at all easy or straightforward to use. We had to get him some looser jeans, and snugger underwear, and he had to discipline himself to exert the extra effort it takes to care for himself when he's wearing the device. I'm certainly not going to stand over him and make sure he puts lube on twice a day to prevent chafing, or take it off him just because he got chafed when he didn't care for himself as he should.

One of those times he asked me rather insistently to take it off when he hadn't lubed himself up in two whole days (!!) and had got rather chafed, and I felt quite cross with him for being so careless with himself and then expecting me to just accept that. So I checked the sore spots, which were reddened but not swollen or raw. I told him I'd take it off then, but that if I did, I'd never put it back on him again. I told him that he could wash and dry himself thoroughly, put some sudocreme on the chafed bits, lube himself up properly, that I'd check it later, and if the areas showed no improvement I'd take it off at that time, but that if there was an improvement to leave the device on overnight, after which I'd take it off the following morning. Otherwise I could take it off right then and there and just throw it in the bin. I certainly wasn't going to play if he wasn't prepared to uphold his end of the bargain and expecting me to do everything for him.

As it turned out, I went to sleep before he did. So, still feeling cross that he'd been so careless and hurt himself as a result, so I left the key out for him to take the device off if he wanted to.

When I got up the next morning, he was still wearing the device, the sore areas were almost totally healed, and we could have left it on for another while. But I'd agreed to take it off, so I did. And we've played with it since then, because he's promised (and kept his promise) to care for himself properly without requiring my supervision or nagging or whatever.

It's a hot and sexy thing for us, and really perfect within a power exchange context. I could really see why somebody wouldn't think it was hot without trying it first, or if they didn't think it was hot because they don't play with power exchange. It seems obvious to me that such a thing wouldn't work for everybody. I suppose it's just one of those things a person has to try before knowing whether it works for them or not. I certainly had no idea whatsoever before I tried it, how hot I'd find it.

Gosh, I do go on! Ok, putting the message down now..... ;)

8

Lol- I like long posts when they're interesting.

So how long does your mister wear it for then? I'm assuming you're talking really extended periods of time.

9

Well, the orgasm control is constant, and he hasn't had one in over 5 months. However, because of some of the difficulties I mentioned with the device itself, we use that for only a small fraction of the time. Also, because I'm not always with him, I can't monitor his health etc when I'm not there, and it's hardly any fun for me if he has access to the key. ;)

I've had him wear his device for up to a few weeks at a time. But mostly I'm into being able to say "Hey, I own that". :D Very, very, very occasionally he'll ask for an orgasm, but often the urge passes and he doesn't pursue it. This past weekend was his birthday and I was completely prepared to allow him a good one or two (especially with the recent goody box of toys arriving :p ). But he was more interested in serving my needs, and wasn't really interested in an actual orgasm, although he did get beautifully excited, as he usually does. :)

The better he gets at wearing the device and caring for himself in it, the longer I'll keep him in it. But I'm less interested for as long as I feel any doubt that he can be trusted to care for himself properly whilst wearing it.

It's so hot when he's in it!! But it's a whole lot less hot when he comes to me with sore areas which demonstrate his self neglect. That is so unhot it could do food storage.

I prefer the hotness. :)

10

Oh, I forgot to say, the research I did into the devices, health and safety, and how to adjust to wearing the device all led to my two-month-long project researching and writing about prostate milking. I did about a month's worth of research into the devices and wearing and health and safety, so that was approximately three months of intensive research and documenting before kvetch got any device anywhere near him.

You can imagine that after I'd gone through all that, I'd be intercoursingly urinated off that kvetch couldn't even exert the energy to perform a few simple health and safety measures for himself, which I'd taken the trouble to spell out and practically present to him on a silver platter!

Gee, I guess I'm still experiencing a few issues about it. Who knew. :p

11

Interesting, to read some of the other comments, especially ladylubyanka, whose blog I have since also read.

I think other posters read too much into the "trouble" aspect of my relationship. Actually, I didn't use that word - it was introduced by tallboy247. I suppose I think that relationships are only healthy if they are experiencing constant change (=growth) so a sense of permanent crisis is necessary for me.

The chastity thing is developing well (thanks for your kind concern!). My partner is adapting well to her new role and seems to be enjoying all the extra attention I am giving her! In particular, we are finding that making love while I wear the CB is longer lasting and more sensuous. Not that I ever had a problem with premature ejaculation - but I think that it would be fair to say that she craves my orgasm almost as much as I do. She has always had the capacity to come multiple times but she would tend to hurry the process along because my orgasm heralded her last and most significant one.

Now she tends to ask me several times "Do you want out yet?" but there is a requirement for me not just to grunt an affirmative but to practically beg for it!

I am also discovering lots of other erogenous zones on my own body that I wasn't previously aware of. When I mentioned this to my partner, she said that is more like how a woman feels to make love.

We haven't yet tried keeping me locked up for more than a day. I am fascinated to hear ladylubyanka's claim that her "kvetch" hasn't come in 5 months. What? Is that really possible?

Another interesting "discovery" is that it becomes a lot easier to avoid masturbation when I am on my own because of the memory of the device and my relationship to my "keyholder". Because I meant it when I said that, if she wanted it, my cock was hers, it now feels inappropriate to make myself come.

Paradoxically, this is the main point of disagreement between myself and my partner/keyholder. She is still wedded to a very mechanistic version of masculinity so she thinks if I save myself up too much this will tend to make me stray. Whereas, I still insist that me not having sex with other women can only be achieved by an act of will on my part (strengthened by training) and has nothing or very little to do with mechanical "back pressure".

(I did have an intimate encounter with another woman since my first post but refrained from intercourse or orgasm. This felt about right to me since I refuse to shut down processes of emotional communication because I am afraid of consequences. I told my partner about it and, while she wasn't delighted, she seems to have accepted that this is a tolerable definition of "faithful")

Also, I contend that, since being faithful involves an act of will, not masturbating is key to this because as soon as you use the mental image of a woman (any woman!) to turn yourself on you are opening yourself to the idea of actual sex acts (with whichever woman) should the opportunity arise (and increasingly, these days, it does...)

Another paradox is that she thinks I should have to ask her to put the device on (since it is still, largely, my kink that she is merely indulging) whereas I insist that this is the one thing I cannot do. It seems more appropriate to me that she order me to put it on - the compromise solution so far is that we lie there talking about whether I "need my gadget" for a while before she puts it on...

The other day while she was out I was experimenting with whether it would be more comfortable if put on more carefully. Then as soon as the lock snapped shut I realised that the whole game would be ruined if I then unlocked myself. So I had to wait until she came home and was ready to unlock me...

It seems that the golden rule is, never unlock yourself. Everything else is totally negotiable and part of the fun of chastity play.

It remains to be seen whether this thing will develop in a more extreme direction as practiced by lubyanka and kvetch or whether it will remain a "harmless" bit of semi-vanilla kink... I am still skeptical, by the way, about stories of 5 months. But it's a nice idea ;-)

12

intercoursingly urinated off - I had to think about that one, but what a wonderful phrase! I think I may have to use that myself in polite society!

Five months without orgasm! Have the wet dreams not kicked in yet? (Actually, I'm not sure wet dreams still happen after a certain age) (And I wouldn't choose to blow him for his first- you'd probably drown lol)

It's interesting to hear about the two different sides of using this device. Still not for me I don't think, but sounds incredibly hot either way! Aside from the whole power play/ reinforcing will power aspect you both describe, you must be learning so much about each others body and reactions.

13

Heh, thank you crayola, I like using proper medical terms instead of swear words, then nobody can give out to me for using inappropriate language, heheh. :)

Kvetch hasn't had a nocturnal emission since he was a teenager. Some men never have them, some never stop having them, some have them a lot, some have them occasionally. It takes all sorts to make a world. :)

Kvetch has non-ejaculatory emissions every few weeks or so when his prostate is particularly congested and a stool presses on it as he defecates. So it certainly is possible to evacuate the prostate without having an orgasm and without other intervention, and it certainly is possible for a man to go for months without orgasming. Kvetch wouldn't have believed it was possible either, if he hadn't been the one experiencing it, since he used to spend hours every night masturbating to orgasm. He believes it now, though. ;)

As you mentioned, timetraveler, through restriction of your orgasms, you've discovered new erogenous zones in your body, and your intimate erotic experiences with your partner have improved as a result. I spend about 67% of my time with kvetch touching him, holding him, hugging him. He finds this kind of touch intensely satisfying. He used to masturbate to orgasm every single night as an effort to fill his need for what I call "safe touch". Since I am meeting his need for warm, safe touch in every way aside from orgasm, his desire for orgasm has significantly reduced. You don't have to believe that it's possible for kvetch to go for over 5 months without orgasm. I know what my experiences have really been, and you may believe or not, as you choose. :) I know every person is different, and I believe you'll find out over time what's possible for you. I agree that what's possible for kvetch may not be possible for you, but I look forward to finding out. :)

And crayola, indeed, we've learnt many things about ourselves and each other. One of the things I've learnt since exploring chastity play with kvetch, is how hot his begging is.

Mmmmmmmmmm! :D

14

I'm trying to understand what is in this for the guy or, more especially, Joe Average. Would I be right in thinking that the device itself provides a constant low level of stimulation that even after only a few hours makes you really randy?

15

Hey Gyrator53, welcome to the discussion.

I can perfectly well understand your confusion as to what is in it for the guy. Only a matter of months ago I would have failed to understand myself.

It may well be that Joe Average would never get it, though I suspect that there is a (sexually) submissive gene in most men, it just doesn't always find an outlet.

The CB-3000 device in no way provides stimulation on its own. All of the stimulation exists in the form of erotic tension in the relationship between the man in chastity and his keyholder. As Lubyanka points out, this is a form of power exchange, whereby the man of his own free will gives a particularly potent form of power (control over his penis and its ejaculatory function) to the woman.

Male chastity is highly paradoxical and that is why it is so erotic! You might think you understand it and then suddenly, whoosh! the ground is pulled away from under your beliefs and you start to see it a different way. In my limited experience this happens to both the male and the female parties. So, sex suddenly becomes exciting and unpredictable where (especially in a long term relationship) it might previously have become dull and routine.

I think that this explains why the context of chastity play is often established by an infidelity (or a potential infidelity). It's not so much that a chastity device will prevent infidelity (though I am sure it *could* be used in this way). It's more that the issues that face sexually adventurous people in long-term relationships are likely to either result in power exchange games or one or other partner straying.

In my case, it was me who was in danger of straying so it makes perfect sense for the power exchange to be from me to her. Otherwise, the relationship is unequal because she is put in the position of wanting me not to stray.

Lubyanka, I am intrigued as to what kvetch is begging you *for*. Surely by now he must have worked out that it is extremely unlikely you are going to give him an orgasm. Does he now beg for you to have an orgasm for him to enjoy by proxy?

16

Oh, my wife and I have a power exchange thing going alright - her company buys and distributes everything my company makes

17

timetraveler,

Personally, I'm really happy for kvetch to have tonnes of orgasms all the time. I enjoy his orgasms. :)

This isn't about my enjoyment of saying "no" to him. The fact is, kvetch almost never asks me for permission to orgasm. When he does, I nearly always allow it. The primary reason kvetch goes for so long between orgasms is because he just doesn't need them the way he used to. He totally gets off not only on my pleasure, but also on his increased enjoyment of his own body in new and different ways. These long orgasmless periods have evolved naturally between us without being planned, simply because kvetch doesn't ask for permisson to release. I didn't ask him not to ask, and I had no intention of extending his orgasmless time frame just to put a big number on it. He just doesn't ask. He used to ask a lot more at the beginning, and I nearly always allowed it, but that dropped off quickly, and he doesn't ask much anymore.

Kvetch is under strict instructions to present me with any situation which is a problem for him, so if he really wanted to orgasm, he is responsible for telling me. He hasn't, and I have discussed this with him many times, including recently. I've discussed this thread with him, so I know his chastity isn't an issue for him at the moment. If it becomes one, then we'll certainly revisit the topic.

When kvetch begs, sometimes (rarely) it's for an orgasm. Sometimes (often) he'll beg to be used for my pleasure, for me to use him in whatever way I choose (whether erotically or not), sometimes (less often) he'll beg to be allowed to serve me, to please me in whatever way I like (erotically or not), and sometimes (less often) he'll beg to be allowed to erotically pleasure me.

Either way, I love his begging and think it's Alotofhot, from the City of Hotness, of the Planet of Hotonia! :D

18

I'm not buying into this male chastity thing, it's cruel. I've been through one during a difficult pregnancy, It's hell, even when you can relive yourself . Its just in a blokes nature to jack of like a spider monkey when he's not getting any.

Still I ain't no expert, there no as queer as folk, what suits one doesn't suit all. I don't like Steak & Kidney pudding but millions of others love that stuff!

If not dumping your junk gives you a kick, good on tha, I ain't got the sack for it!

19

I'm not advocating male chastity for everyone, far from it.

For the record, your description of your experience with male chastity sounds to me like it wasn't negotiated beforehand, like your consent was not established beforehand, and like consensual erotic tease and denial, keyholding, or permission giving on the part of your wife were conspicuously absent. And I think we all know that consent can sometimes be the sole difference between consensual play and abuse. So I dispute that your assertion of what you call male chastity is equivalent to the consensual chastity play we were discussing earlier.

Since you seem unclear on the concept - for me, male chastity is about my partner simply giving me control of their orgasms, and me being in control of their pleasure. For me, male chastity is not about me taking advantage and denying just for the sake of denying.

Cruelty doesn't come into it. If it did, that would be unconsensual, and abuse.

If you don't want to explore male chastity play with your partner, then fine, nobody has any interest in forcing you. And nobody here is talking about enforcing unconsensual male chastity on anybody else.

20

I'm strangely intrigued with this and I'm not sure if I'm attracted to it or just fascinated to understand it. I can't quite see it fitting into our sex lives as, despite being together for over 35 years (and thus pretty old) we do make love most nights so our idea of abstinence runs to about 48 hours. Also, despite much trying on my part with oral etc my wife does not readily orgasm from anything much other than penis in vagina sex. Everything else just seems like extended foreplay for her. As you can imagine masturbation is not a problem for me – I simply don't have the energy! And the possibility of my straying would, quite apart from anything else, require the existence of a lady with sufficiently poor eyesight!

Anyway, my guess is that I'd be on a fairly safe bet on being released rather frequently. What interests me is that I have read that some men find even short periods of enclosure – 24 hours or so – enhances their orgasms and that does interest me!

The aesthetics of some of the devices is interesting. Some, like the Sentinel from Tickleberry do look quite elegant and I can see that they are a good way of packaging something that otherwise looks somewhat like a selection of extremely over-ripe fruit.