My man wants to use all these toys on me during sex and him not do anything but use them on me why?

I’ve used a couple of sex toys I loved them what I have used but I am wondering why this is? He only wants to use toys on me in bed the whole time alot he says it turns him on watching me get tore up but him also doing me tears me up so does he think he don’t satisfy me? Or am I not good enough or our sex is wack???

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Have you asked him? He’s the only one that can give you a real answer.

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There doesn’t have to be anything deep or serious to it. I’m a boy … boys like toys. Using a toy on my wife means a little more of my focus can be on the good time she’s having.

I like the novelty.

Do you praise him when he’s doing awesome things to you? I know that helps me. If my wife tells me something I’m doing is great, I’m far more likely to repeat it.

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Some individuals get satisfaction out of seeing their partner enjoying themselves, that they don’t need anything reciprocated.

My OH is a pleasure dom, and whilst they love intimacy and getting off, they would much prefer to make me feel good, sometimes to the point of overstimulation.

But this is definitely more a question for your partner, we aren’t them, and can’t really answer from their perspective.

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My partner is like this, it pleasures him to watch me being pleasured, he also likes to dominate during this time and watch me squirm or beg for me. So i guess your partner just likes to watch you being pleasured too? But you won’t know for sure unless you ask.

Hope this helps :slightly_smiling_face:

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It’s not uncommon.

I would much rather see my wife orgasm than have one myself. Watching her masturbate to orgasm using toys is amazing but it’s even better if she lets me use the toys on her so that it’s me giving her the orgasms instead.

Just enjoy all the orgasms and don’t over think it.

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I think you need to have a good talk and communicate your feelings letting it all out. I am sure he gets great pleasure in seeing you playing with your toys and may be you should think about getting him some toys so you can do the same to him. But as you are so young he should be desperate to jump onto you. Good luck.

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Best thing to do is ask him.

However, I personally enjoy giving my OH pleasure and love using toys on her. We often dont have intercourse but give attention to one person and use toys etc.

We both see it as an attention thing and love it when all the attention is on one person. Not saying this is true of all people but is the case in our relationship.

But best thing to do is sit down and ask…

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My OH loves watching me orgasm and regularly uses toys on me. But i always insist on us having fun together and make him orgasm too. You may need to sit down and have a conversation with your man and try to find out what it is he is feeling

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The only way you’ll know is to just ask him openly

Gosh, this describes me so well!!
I’m a people-pleaser, which goes for R18 stuff too.

Men like to tinker with things and be handy with tools plus I like to see the pleasure that I am controlling with the toy. I like doing something similar with the missus as I sometimes struggle with not lasting so it at least gives me a chance to make sure the missus is satisfied before my needs.

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I myself like to use toys on my partner and sometimes don’t want or expect sex afterwards. For me it is a massive turn on using and watching her using the toys. I like the power of teasing and edging her until she has a massive orgasm.

It is definately worth talking to your partner and don’t let your thoughts take over.

I hope this helps :blush:

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Maybe he wants to edge you and make you cum first. Could be he wants to make sure your satisfied first then himself. Which can be a good thing as some men finish first and dont think about the woman.

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Definitely needs a conversation about wants/desires in the bedroom. You’ll find plenty of folk here who love using toys on their partner’s and observing all the pleasure they can give.

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It sounds to me like he just genuinely enjoys watching you pleasure yourself/pleasuring you. My husband can get off from going down on me and without even touching himself - he will ejaculate when I orgasm. For some men, witnessing female pleasure is much hotter than sex and that may also be the case for him. He may not feel inadequate, he may just enjoy seeing you enjoy yourself.

The best thing would be to have a conversation with him and find out why. Good luck!

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Same as @MrL86. We have a few toys that are guaranteed to bring my partner to orgasm. It’s a great feeling to pleasure and tease her. I love watching her orgasm and using toys on her and it gives me a beautiful view of her body.

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This is a great question and a really common worry. It‘s really easy to get caught in the trap of thinking you‘re in some way not ‘good enough’ or doing something ‘wrong’. But really absolutely don‘t worry. He‘s probably got different worries about where he’s ‘doing it wrong’ and is just hoping to please and impress you, while also hoping to satisfying his own desires through your connection.

If you really don‘t love the same things, you can only find out by talking them out. While this may feel scary and leave you feeling exposed or vulnerable, it really is a great way to build trust and connection. And you get to find out all sorts of things about each other by having these intimate conversations.

Best way is to have these chats when you‘re both clothed and under no pressure to perform. And be sure to highlight what you both love as well as what you don’t, so you give a sense of balance.

Honestly, don’t worry. This is so common. And miscommunications or mis-matches in desires are a part of the process. Sex lives evolve and change over time.

Over and over again on this forum common messages come out:

Communicate openly and honestly,

Advocate for your needs, desires and boundaries,

Learn from and respect each other‘s desires and kinks (don‘t yuck someone‘s yum) you don‘t have to participate, but if it‘s a valued and heartfelt part of them, it‘s rude to kink-shame it just because you don‘t like it.

If your partner, after clear communication, doesn’t respect you and your boundaries, then it‘s time to get outside help and end the sexual relationship; or at least the parts you’re uncomfortable with, until your issues are resolved. If it‘s real bad, run for the hills!

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