My wife says she has got this fantasy about getting surprised and pinned down and want of a better word raped.
She has mentioned a few scenarios, like I sneak in while she is sleeping or I pretend to be a burglar and abuse her.
She wants me to be really forceful with her but I'm afraid I'll hurt her.
Is this normal and has anybody ever had a similar fantasy and that could give me some advice.
I've heard of this fantasy many times, if your both consenting then I'd say go for it just make sure any boundaries are set out well in advance that way you can still surprise her but you will know what can and can't be done thus keeping the respect in your relationship :)
I had the same fantasy from time to time, but never acted out on it. It's just a random thought that sometimes, rarely, pops up when my boyfriend is being really dominant, doesn't last long and ususally gets me a little upset.
I looked it up on the internet and found it it's quite a common fantasy that many people have. Some are more willing to act it out than others, but most, like me, prefer to keep it for themselves or for the anonimity of forums like this.
As for advice though, I can't help you. Sorry.
I spend a lot of my internet time on Fetlife and this is something I see pop up on there a lot. So she is definitely not alone in having this fantasy.
So long as you know where the limits lie and she has a safeword to use just in case she decides it's not for her, then I see no reason you couldn't give it a go.
Do you already engage in forms of rough sex etc? If not it might be worth giving that a go first just so you can gauge what level of force she enjoys before going for it within the fantasy scenario.
Lots of luck however it pans out x
Make surw you stick to personal boundaries (ex.if she dont like anal then dont include it), set and date and time scale like tues 7pm-11pm .so theres no suprise or anxiety so she know its coming but not sure on time as youve given her time scale,,, safe words or signals is a must and keep constant eye for it. Use force that you would normally use in bedroom but use her as guidance she resist and gets away atd more force but not enough yo leave marks as this always leada to someone asking questions xxx and enjoy xx
LadyS wrote:
I spend a lot of my internet time on Fetlife and this is something I see pop up on there a lot. So she is definitely not alone in having this fantasy.
So long as you know where the limits lie and she has a safeword to use just in case she decides it's not for her, then I see no reason you couldn't give it a go.
Do you already engage in forms of rough sex etc? If not it might be worth giving that a go first just so you can gauge what level of force she enjoys before going for it within the fantasy scenario.
Lots of luck however it pans out x
+1 Also have a very lengthy conversation beforehand so that she can set her limits with you, and as LadyS has said always have a safeword or safe signal in place xx
It's very much acceptable and is used in a few role play scenarios for example the burglar one that you suggested and also kidnap by say a pirate.
Because of the possible implications it's not something I would recommend for new relationships as trust is going to be the key thing.and trust is something that is built up over time.
Sod that too much past history
but each to their own
sistahunny wrote:
Very common fantasy but distressing for some women to fantasize about it when they know how devastating it would be in real life. I read somewhere that fantasies involving control being taken away sexually MAY be a sign that you have too much on your plate in your normal life e.g in your job and has not much to do with sex at all.
But this sounds a completely different scenario, it sounds she trusts you completely and wants to be completely possessed by you so very sweet
Yes honest conversation needed boundaries set and safe word agreed
About the bolded part, I think it might be true. At least for me. Thinking about it, I can recall this fantasy popping up only during extremely stressful periods of my life, when I thought I couldn't cope with life itself (happened a lot when my mother was undergoing chemotherapy three years back, for example).
I had this fantasy and with my hubby we acted out the burglar scenario. We made sure we had a safe word and action and talked out limits first. It was amazing. I trust him 100% and this makes a huge difference. It was about handing control over to him which I now know is how a Dom/sub relationship works. If you trust each other go for it...
I had this fantasy and with my hubby we acted out the burglar scenario. We made sure we had a safe word and action and talked out limits first. It was amazing. I trust him 100% and this makes a huge difference. It was about handing control over to him which I now know is how a Dom/sub relationship works. If you trust each other go for it...
I was with a girl briefly last year who had this as her number 1 fantasy (specifically in the woods); we discussed it a lot but never got round to acting it out. I have to admit that I still think about that fantasy from time to time!
The burglar role play appeals a lot too, obviously with a lot of discussion first and the necessary precautions (safewords etc)
Yes it normal . I have the same fantasy . But in many ways . As long as you both like the game then play it .
MissBrownEyes92 wrote:
Sod that too much past history
but each to their own
Agreed. xx
I do have the fantasy time to time too. But with someone I fully trust, not a stranger.
It is not that uncommon fantasy, apparently lot of women did think about sometimes in a safe environment.
Dildo baggins wrote:
My wife says she has got this fantasy about getting surprised and pinned down and want of a better word raped.
She has mentioned a few scenarios, like I sneak in while she is sleeping or I pretend to be a burglar and abuse her.
She wants me to be really forceful with her but I'm afraid I'll hurt her.Is this normal and has anybody ever had a similar fantasy and that could give me some advice.
One of my favourites love imagining 12th Doctor taking me seriously safe words talk the senerio through enjoy.
It really depends if you're both comfortable with the idea. If you're not into the idea, explain it to her. Maybe there's another way you both could go about the fantasy, maybe you both could see a professional dominatrix and she could work you both through the fantasy?
Not for me personally and I understand that everyone has different fantasies and that but I feel a little uneasy that something that causes genuine victims so much grief and hurt can be someone else's fantacy. But each to their own as long as you are safe.